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Mark One

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9 hours ago, Mark One said:

 

Now the drink isnt...no wait...oh, no its not on me list luv.  How about a Bloody Mary instead?

I have a mild interest in scottish history so if it’s all right I’ll take a Bloody Mary

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4 hours ago, Thorazeen said:

I have a mild interest in scottish history so if it’s all right I’ll take a Bloody Mary

Gawd lad!  Here you go sir, now tell me - are you here on business or pleasure?

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8 hours ago, rashore said:

Oh my dear man... surely you don't expect me to entertain such a potentially titillating notion before you have even properly spun me about and swept me off me feet now do you? I should rap you with my fan for that, only that I didn't carry it today... shame that. It's plumage is such that it can gild a Dragon quite nicely.

But tonight if you will call out a jig or a drawn step perhaps? I'll nudge the delightful lady offering up her mixing services and ask for a godfather on the rocks please. Do let's give Blue Star a chance and relieve you from the bar and treat my new dancing shoes as they deserve.

May I ask a lady such as yourself which type of dance, one enjoys the most?

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According to the budgies this pub has a rich history of paranormal activity. Gusts of wind, flickering lights, muffled voices, and repeated sightings of a mysterious man with eyeless sockets who wanders the pub with a drink in hand. Guests have reported having chutney bottles thrown at them. One guest was pushed face down into a plate of mushy peas. Another saw beer pumps being turned on when no one was behind the bar.

So with all my equipment set up, I settled into a comfy worn leather chair and waited. Unfortunately, one too many martinis later, I fell asleep and missed all the paranormal action  But my infrared camera did manage to capture some awesome orbs — as well as a not too pleased Andrew who was annoyed that I had fallen asleep face first in his bowl of fancy peanuts.

8E7sS9I.jpg

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42 minutes ago, Kittens Are Jerks said:

According to the budgies this pub has a rich history of paranormal activity. Gusts of wind, flickering lights, muffled voices, and repeated sightings of a mysterious man with eyeless sockets who wanders the pub with a drink in hand. Guests have reported having chutney bottles thrown at them. One guest was pushed face down into a plate of mushy peas. Another saw beer pumps being turned on when no one was behind the bar.

So with all my equipment set up, I settled into a comfy worn leather chair and waited. Unfortunately, one too many martinis later, I fell asleep and missed all the paranormal action  But my infrared camera did manage to capture some awesome orbs — as well as a not too pleased Andrew who was annoyed that I had fallen asleep face first in his bowl of fancy peanuts.

8E7sS9I.jpg

Well kittens, I can honestly say that you have a promising career there.  Good one, John.

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So Andrew appears to be haunting my gaff even though he has left our shores and is with Rashore...defo spooky. (Unless hes now brown bread)

But such things that go bump in the night are gold mines for profits...so, I`m doing some promotions at the mo.  I still trying to iron out the gremlins though.

 

TODAYS BIG OFFERS ONNIT

GET ONE DRINK / BUY ANOTHER FREE

(Ive just been told that something isnt right with my offer, but I`m too busy for now to work it out)

FREE DEAD CHICKEN FLAVOUR CRISPS WITH EVERY GLASS OF DRAMBUIE.

MONKS MEAD NOW HALF PRICE WHEN YOU ORDER 2 PINTS OF DRAGONS BEST

ENJOY HALF A PINT OF MILD WITH EVERY EGG N CHIPS MEAL.

PICKLED EGGS CLEARENCE SALE BEFORE THEY GO OUT OF DATE

LOST AND FOUND ITEMS ARE NOW A LUCKY DIP: 50P PER TICKET

 

 

 

 

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19 hours ago, Kittens Are Jerks said:

According to the budgies this pub has a rich history of paranormal activity. Gusts of wind, flickering lights, muffled voices, and repeated sightings of a mysterious man with eyeless sockets who wanders the pub with a drink in hand. Guests have reported having chutney bottles thrown at them. One guest was pushed face down into a plate of mushy peas. Another saw beer pumps being turned on when no one was behind the bar.

 

 

Sorry, Kittens, but that's just a normal evenings goings-on at the Dragon .... nothing paranorman there.

The thing with the pumps being turned on: Mark was behind the bar, but on the floor, hiding from Rashore's rather burly husband. :o

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4 hours ago, ouija ouija said:

Sorry, Kittens, but that's just a normal evenings goings-on at the Dragon .... nothing paranorman there.

The thing with the pumps being turned on: Mark was behind the bar, but on the floor, hiding from Rashore's rather burly husband. :o

That's rather funny since my tastes in husbands tends to the slender and tall type. Burly isn't my speed at all, lol. A couple of my brothers are rather burly, though it would be odd for them to stop by here. Their tastes in pubs and dance floors tend to differ from mineusually.... though looking around the pub into the shadows I will order up four pints of Dragons Best for the kilted gents back by the pool tables and take the double of Monks mead for myself.

But hmmmm, dance floor. Mark, I do dearly love a lot of dances.. but since it's that kind of day and the day is warm and fine, perhaps a bit of a sultry West Coast Swing or a smooth Rhumba would be nice.

And not sure if I should apologize or not for Andrew.. When I placed the snacks order for the DA thread, I thought Andrew was part of the order with the rest of the staff. I had no idea he was akin to one of those penny-dragons. Guess I should have known better when the vendor handed me my change with that gold coin embossed with Andrews image on it. Or left it as a tip on the bar.

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This looks like a very lively place. I should visit more often.

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20 hours ago, rashore said:

That's rather funny since my tastes in husbands tends to the slender and tall type. Burly isn't my speed at all, lol. A couple of my brothers are rather burly, though it would be odd for them to stop by here. Their tastes in pubs and dance floors tend to differ from mineusually.... though looking around the pub into the shadows I will order up four pints of Dragons Best for the kilted gents back by the pool tables and take the double of Monks mead for myself.

But hmmmm, dance floor. Mark, I do dearly love a lot of dances.. but since it's that kind of day and the day is warm and fine, perhaps a bit of a sultry West Coast Swing or a smooth Rhumba would be nice.

And not sure if I should apologize or not for Andrew.. When I placed the snacks order for the DA thread, I thought Andrew was part of the order with the rest of the staff. I had no idea he was akin to one of those penny-dragons. Guess I should have known better when the vendor handed me my change with that gold coin embossed with Andrews image on it. Or left it as a tip on the bar.

I`m the tall and slender type - small world!

How about a weekend away camping by a wonderful lake, luv?  We could sit there watching the sunset and then dance softly to some heart alluring ditty.  The gentle breeze on our cheeks, the silence of the lake ahead of us, the sounds of nature...

 

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10 hours ago, Thorazeen said:

This looks like a very lively place. I should visit more often.

Where you were sat last night is the spot were old Mother Duckerdyke is said to appear.  Puffing on her pipe whilst peering at the bods around her.  It is said that she came to a horrid end in the mid-1900s after getting stuck halfway up the chimney with her cloth.

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12 hours ago, Mark One said:

Where you were sat last night is the spot were old Mother Duckerdyke is said to appear.  Puffing on her pipe whilst peering at the bods around her.  It is said that she came to a horrid end in the mid-1900s after getting stuck halfway up the chimney with her cloth.

Poor old bird, perhaps she had a santa fetish and thought to prove his existence definitively.

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On 8/10/2018 at 6:28 AM, Thorazeen said:

Poor old bird, perhaps she had a santa fetish and thought to prove his existence definitively.

Yes, yes, fascinating, John.  But how about ordering a drink then?  The G & D isn't some public-house you know, where you can come and go as you please!  Erm...well yes it is a public house...um...fancy a peanut?

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On 8/9/2018 at 1:16 PM, Mark One said:

I`m the tall and slender type - small world!

How about a weekend away camping by a wonderful lake, luv?  We could sit there watching the sunset and then dance softly to some heart alluring ditty.  The gentle breeze on our cheeks, the silence of the lake ahead of us, the sounds of nature...

 

You do like to try getting me to blush, don’t you? Saucy thing you...

I think that sounds lovely, the saucy thing. Bloody Mary spicy please if you would be so kind to serve. And a soft bread pretzel with mustard... shipment of them came in with some bags fresh fancy peanuts and barrels of deli pickles. I’ve already instructed back of the house how to cook up the beer and brats properly for grilling up.

We might discuss camping possibilities at a later time... I heard rumors that some rhinos are in transit chock packed with delightful outdoor gear amongst other things in their panniers.

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6 hours ago, rashore said:

You do like to try getting me to blush, don’t you? Saucy thing you...

I think that sounds lovely, the saucy thing. Bloody Mary spicy please if you would be so kind to serve. And a soft bread pretzel with mustard... shipment of them came in with some bags fresh fancy peanuts and barrels of deli pickles. I’ve already instructed back of the house how to cook up the beer and brats properly for grilling up.

We might discuss camping possibilities at a later time... I heard rumors that some rhinos are in transit chock packed with delightful outdoor gear amongst other things in their panniers.

That's one drink and one snack coming right up, my sweet.  Do you fancy a cream cake - they're so popular at the moment.. even on the TV too.

All of that stuff you've got coming to me cellars does sound promising.  Just worried about the Rhinos.  We've had elephants here in the past and they always seem to break loose and end up mesmerizing the locals of Weevleton.  And don't get me started on the local police - they're useless.

Have a great day, my little tin of peaches X

 

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Well, the regional elections seem to be going well.  Mr Biscuit Barrel once lived in a terraced house not far from here, many years ago.  He's sure come on a long way since his days when he used to deliver coal.

 

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Keep yer minces peeled for one of those space age cooker thingies -  a microwave oven.  The Dragon needs a gud-un.

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On 8/13/2018 at 5:27 AM, Blue Star said:

On my, the strangeness of bar room flirtations, bemused me indeed.???:rofl:

Well, Mark is indeed a very good dancer.... And you did offer up tending bar so he had more time to dance :)

And for you lovely one, there should be a new ninja or few somewhere on the rhinos for you to blend up some of your delightful concoctions.

On 8/13/2018 at 6:23 AM, Mark One said:

That's one drink and one snack coming right up, my sweet.  Do you fancy a cream cake - they're so popular at the moment.. even on the TV too.

All of that stuff you've got coming to me cellars does sound promising.  Just worried about the Rhinos.  We've had elephants here in the past and they always seem to break loose and end up mesmerizing the locals of Weevleton.  And don't get me started on the local police - they're useless.

Have a great day, my little tin of peaches X

 

Just flat out the cake ads are pure gold. Made me laugh hard enough to spook one of the cats out of their nap. However, I don't have much of a sweet tooth. So I'll pass on the cream cake this time in spite of how delightfully appealing those ladies tempted with confections.

I did think twice about the rhinos. Particularly in light of some past elephant issues and the somewhat unexpected staff sticking around after the order recently.. Andrew is wonderful, but I checked the fine print this time... These rhinos are the mechanical kind, not living animal kind. And I made sure there wasn't a "you got it, you keep it till you pass it on proper" unspoken kind of clause. Imagine having to offload that on someone unwary.

And what's going on with the LEO this time love? I don't want to get you started, but I am curious as to what is going on. I thought things had been settled with our Chief Inspector?

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Oh, do not worry your pretty self with the Chief Inspector, chicken.  Mervin the Mucker has been around to have a chat with him.  He`ll bung him some wonga and see that he gets a big drink the next time he turns up in my drum.

I afraid to say that I don't think Weevelton is ready for mechanized quadrupeds yet.  Most of em still think the world is flat, only bathe once a week in a tin coffin and anything electrical is witchcraft.  But talking about electrics - have you any microwaves floating around?

And so, as always it is a real pleasure to see you again, Rashore.  Is that a new hairstyle?  You look stunning, babes.  Any chance of a cuddle or another dance later on?

 

 

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Some of the die-hard drinkers have been bending me ear about bringing back pub punch-ups.  Harry `No-Nose` Boner has shown his keenness and is willing to take on another bod - if a fight night is put in me diary.  Cyril `The Wrench` has also given it his vote and is willing to drop 100 notes into the prize pot.  Sinister Robin has refereed well over 60, back street punch-ups in his career and is now fed up with his window cleaning business.  So, there you have it, maybe sometime in September we`ll all get drunk and enjoy watching two bobs kick the living wotsits out of each other.  Kevin the Gerbil will be running a book - more info onnit later. 

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FRIDAY NITE SPECIALS

1 Jug of black Ruin: £9.50 (4 pints of yesterdays leftovers, comes with two tankards and straws)

If you don't hand over the cash I won't threaten you and you`ll get a free pint (only two per customer)

Again, some keen-eyed bods have pointed out some errors in my scheme above.  I`m too busy to amend it onnit, so I`ll just ride with it for now. 

Super Strong Lager - free if I threaten you and I dont pay for it.

Very popular!

Six Gin and Lemonades, 4 packets of bacon crisps, a bone for the dog and a box of matches: £8.74 

Lettuce wine with a 3 star meal: £3.11

Imported Fags, 2 packs of 20 and 3 triple Black Russians: £6

 

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*Doc Mark stands behind the bar*

Rate, me muckers onnhim. Marks gun off ont tis hols ter blackpull ter his sisters moffers. Am now the guvnor fah 2 weeks uppit. Thee pub will run by me own standards onnit. Beer prices down ter 1970s costs. Like it or shuv it.

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Oh my dear man, tonight is a martini night if you would indulge me. Just one. My feet and a lot of the rest of me too ache a bit much for dancing tonight, a sit and a sip I need. 

The rhinos came in, they got parked over in the old car lot that the skellies like to use for a moonlightless dance hall. Figured that would work well since the moon is full tonight and the skellies aren’t using it for a few nights yet.

So... the camping gear that sounded promising turned out to be stuff meant for a deep winter survivalist group planning up for a “fun weekend off”... and a bunch of vertical cliff camping equipment. And a couple rather smelly and scentless rhinos that got picked up by that odd fellow with the glass eye and unfortunate tastes in cummerbund and hat combinations.

One of the rhinos overheated... fortunately it was one of the convertibles that was carrying BBQ to be cooked off tomorrow anyway.. It died almost where it was supposed to for the new BBQ pit outback.... but now you need to unload 1,500 pounds of BBQ as soon as you can. All the accompanying food isn’t showing up till tomorrow when it should. And the kitchen is in a snit about it all.

There are four nice  microwaves around the Dragon now. A pair of salvaged larger industrial ones for the kitchen that can’t get installed till after the influx of BBQ is dealt with. A smaller one for the bar. And one for your personal quarters.

And just saying.. there’s some thuggish sorts lingering over the cribbage tables tonight. Might want to keep an eye out for a 29 or few sorts of hijinks. 

Im going sashay off to the patio now and claim a cushy chaise. 

 

 

 

 

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