newbloodmoon Posted December 8, 2018 #1676 Share Posted December 8, 2018 Better head off to the bog, loo, privy, washroom etc before big Hal McCallister shows up. Yup, he’s a hugger. Don't even get him started on his paper sail boat races he puts on in the toilet. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted December 22, 2018 #1677 Share Posted December 22, 2018 Ho ho ho! The drinks are on me! (Adults only. One drink each. Beer or cider. No flagons, Yards of Ale, tankards, or similar outsize receptacles) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted December 22, 2018 #1678 Share Posted December 22, 2018 I'll have a cider, then! Thanks, acute! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted December 23, 2018 #1679 Share Posted December 23, 2018 Ahhh pooties, all I have is flagons, tankards, and outsides receptacles. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted December 25, 2018 Author #1680 Share Posted December 25, 2018 Another day, another dollar at the Dragon. Sticky Mick dropped his camera & blamed big Willy - who he promptly booted in the back. Enid Duffleduck fell into the tree and Smelly Claud was ill beside the outdoor bogs A big congrats to Lynn Snogger who won the Xmas raffle. That prize of 100 Benson & Hedgies fags should keep her going till the new year. I'll nip around love after closing with the tabs. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted December 26, 2018 #1681 Share Posted December 26, 2018 (edited) 4 hours ago, Mark One said: That prize of 100 Benson & Hedgies fags should keep her going till the new year. Are you having a ****in' laugh? They won't make it to Boxing Day afternoon! Edited December 26, 2018 by acute Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted December 26, 2018 Author #1682 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Nah, occording to the doc, coughing and wheezing helps to promote clear air passages. It also ensures a healthy heart and lungs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted December 26, 2018 #1683 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Another successful raffel, I’m sure I could whip something up for some baked goods to throw in. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acute Posted December 26, 2018 #1684 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Sorry Mark, Brenda's shat herself again. Don't serve her pints of Baileys, she can't handle it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted December 27, 2018 Author #1685 Share Posted December 27, 2018 *feeling rough* Utter....fink am cumming down with summit...am quite sure that that that jar of flicked onions witch I polished off onnit were off...I only ate um to soak up me full bottle of sherry that Boffo put in me crimbo box... Grrrr....an now me got Ter serve you baskets all day with ale which rate now is turning me stomach and increasing this flip-off headache...me nut is throbbing... Didn't get much kip either...went Ter me pit last night and found someone's mastiff layed onnit....urrr....*burp* 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted December 29, 2018 #1686 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Here, I brought you some spiked hot cocoa, it will make you feel better. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted December 30, 2018 Author #1687 Share Posted December 30, 2018 15 hours ago, tcgram said: Here, I brought you some spiked hot cocoa, it will make you feel better. AHH thanks, chicken. I ended up around at Doc Marks where he offered me a stomach pump on the house. Well your mug of chocolate his sure lifting my mood. I keep seeing moon beams flicking in the air everywhere. And I swear blind that there's now a pixie in the dustbin. Either that or the bins possessed by a most chatty spirit. I spent ten minutes sat on me behind cuddling the bin as it told wonderful things about life, the universe and that widow on cockerel street. Can you look after the bar luv? I think I need a laydown... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted December 30, 2018 #1688 Share Posted December 30, 2018 52 minutes ago, Mark One said: AHH thanks, chicken. I ended up around at Doc Marks where he offered me a stomach pump on the house. Well your mug of chocolate his sure lifting my mood. I keep seeing moon beams flicking in the air everywhere. And I swear blind that there's now a pixie in the dustbin. Either that or the bins possessed by a most chatty spirit. I spent ten minutes sat on me behind cuddling the bin as it told wonderful things about life, the universe and that widow on cockerel street. Can you look after the bar luv? I think I need a laydown... I'll look after things, have a rest. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted December 31, 2018 Author #1689 Share Posted December 31, 2018 19 hours ago, tcgram said: I'll look after things, have a rest. Right I'm off, to see the new year in at me sisters in Blackpool. I'll only be a couple of weeks, luv and until then the G&D is in your splendid little hands. Cheers babes, I'll bring you a stick of rock back X. But before I go here's a heads up on running the shop. The branded bottles of spirit behind the bar are all full of cheaper offerings. Take the whisky for example. The closest that's come to Scotland is when some Jock in the factory were it's bottled (Ipswich) nails down a crate of 24. So take any empties off the bar and into the cellar where you'll find crates of Bolton Rum, Jersey Vodka, TESCO sherry etc, etc. Don't worry about our little secret - the pale faced, bloodshot punters will never find out Oh one last thing. Fake coins and bent notes are to be placed in that drawer under the bar. Make a mental note of any bod who pays with em and give it back later, in their change. Right, gotta go. Love you, bye, honest! *Door slam* 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted January 1, 2019 #1690 Share Posted January 1, 2019 Brought in some cupcakes with tofu based icing. Oh good mark’s gone, no one saw this happen by the way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted January 13, 2019 Author #1691 Share Posted January 13, 2019 *post card from Mark* Hello TC, hope the pubs in one piece. Weather is brutal ont coast. Will bring you a stick of rock, back. That new beer should have arrived by now. Just warn the punters to pick any bones out their glass after ordering a pint. That Scot at the brewery - the one with grey hair and green eyes - fell into large drum full of the stuff. He did put up a good fight though, fending off the rescue team as he both swam and drank himself silly. See you soon x 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted January 15, 2019 #1692 Share Posted January 15, 2019 Dear Mark, Pub is still standing but we did some unforseen renovations where the back door used to be. Sticky Mick decided to drive his uncle's car into the building, said he was going to "air it out" or something of that nature. Anyhow, we have repaired what we could and now Mick is serving drinks to the gents for free as restitution. Love you sweetie and see you soon. xxoo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted January 16, 2019 #1693 Share Posted January 16, 2019 (edited) On 1/14/2019 at 5:55 PM, tcgram said: Dear Mark, Pub is still standing but we did some unforseen renovations where the back door used to be. Sticky Mick decided to drive his uncle's car into the building, said he was going to "air it out" or something of that nature. Anyhow, we have repaired what we could and now Mick is serving drinks to the gents for free as restitution. Love you sweetie and see you soon. xxoo Ohh so that explaines the picketers outside with signs reading “Free the Mick!” And here I thought Mark fell off his chump and was holding an irishman hostage. Guess I’ll order a black and tan, some bangers and mash, and plop a £10 in the tip jar. Edited January 16, 2019 by newbloodmoon 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted January 18, 2019 Author #1694 Share Posted January 18, 2019 I dunno what's been going on at the G&D lately but I've heard some worrying tales. So Ive been in touch with big Vince. He's sending one of his boys down to sort things out! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted January 19, 2019 Author #1695 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Here you go then, to my best customer's. Pick a flavour, TC and Mr Moon. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted January 19, 2019 #1696 Share Posted January 19, 2019 4 minutes ago, Mark One said: Here you go then, to my best customer's. Pick a flavour, TC and Mr Moon. Can i pick one, its not as if you do not have loads of them. HOLD UP! 30p each? Where were they made, in China? Have you got any quality stuff? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted January 19, 2019 Author #1697 Share Posted January 19, 2019 6 minutes ago, freetoroam said: Can i pick one, its not as if you do not have loads of them. HOLD UP! 30p each? Where were they made, in China? Have you got any quality stuff? For you, sprinkles, they are free. Come here and sit by the bar, luv and tell me all of the Goss. Oh, there are some themed sticks - dummy, dead mouse...etc,etc too. So anyway, how's your feet? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted January 22, 2019 #1698 Share Posted January 22, 2019 Ooooh pretty colors, like chasing a rainbow and getting caught in a leprechaun trap. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted January 22, 2019 Author #1699 Share Posted January 22, 2019 14 hours ago, newbloodmoon said: Ooooh pretty colors, like chasing a rainbow and getting caught in a leprechaun trap. Erm yeh, right. Go and take your electric Vimto drink outside, face the pool and rethink your life. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbloodmoon Posted January 23, 2019 #1700 Share Posted January 23, 2019 9 hours ago, Mark One said: Erm yeh, right. Go and take your electric Vimto drink outside, face the pool and rethink your life. Does just that without question after getting a bit roughed up by Big Vince the other day. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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