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The George And The Dragon is now open.


Mark One

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5 hours ago, newbloodmoon said:

Well I’ll get thing cleaned up and ready for the delivery, I guess this Halloween I’ll have to dress the part of a respectable employee. How scary is that?

*a stranger enters the galley*

Nee worries, pal.  This delivery from big Jock, wee make everything grand, ah genn.  Sign here, pal.

 

Oh Smashing, the Halloween outfits have arrived, Mr Moon.  Go on then, tuck in and pick out a orange hi viz coat and trousers then.

 

 

 

 

 

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Signs off on everything ‘Thanks Guv’. Then picks outfit, they’re all pretty smashing, mark went all out this year. I wonder if the ladies auxiliary ever figured out who did the smash and grab from their pot brownie sales. It’s a good thing that the boss is such a caring bloke and put up them reward signs.

Better get the chili on and corn bread started.

 

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Good lad.  You know it makes sense.

 

Now back to business.  On Monday day I want you to take your wheelbarrow around weevelton offering to collect unwanted pumpkins.

 

Dodgy Gordon has offered to help us make brandy with em.

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Fetch your cloth, Mr Moon.  Some joker has defaced the pub sign!!!

 

They have drawn a letter R in front of the word- Live.  The sign now reads, 

 

THE HARPY

FRESH BEERS, STRONG CIDERS

AND LIVE"R" SPORTS

 

Tsk, tsk.  We don't want the local bods thinking about liver disease!

 

 

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Oh and regarding Live Sports.  Bonto has been in touch, the cockroach racing is still on for Friday.  He's managed to stave of the critters natural instinct to hibernate by keeping em alert with strong powered light bulbs.

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I haven't seen my underpants since I shat myself this afternoon. Could you check Dirty Ralph's pockets, please?

 

Edited by acute
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Cloth in hand and it's a new one for the pub sign, as far as the soiled doody catchers, perhaps the watered down spirits are in order.

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Oh I wish Rashore was still here *sob*

 

These old tree lights have spent all year breeding tangle fairies.  If only there was someone who could get their hands on a box of new ones at bottom level prices. * sniffles *

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I’ll ask around at the wharf to see if any of the old timers who remember detangling fishnets a chance to detangle these lights. Perhaps spending an hour or so in a warm dry environment will motivate these blokes. If that doesn’t pan out then perhaps I can auction off that privilege at The St. Austinitus chapels Friday night bingo and fish feed for the elderly. 
 

I might just dust off the old vinyl records, I’m sure there’s a seasonal sea shanty album in there somewhere.

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Such devotion.

 

Just think. Mr Moon.  One day, all of this splender will be yours.

 

Edit

After I have kicked the bucket, Onnihim :D

Edited by Mark One
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  • 2 weeks later...

It's black Friday at the harpy, lads.  Various drinks on offer all at the same generous prices they where yesterday.

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Oh and the drinks with black food coloring costs an extra 60p. Price is Non negotiable and be thankful ‘bout it.

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I just woke up in the beer garden. How long have I been out?

***k me!  It's 4 o'clock!

:o

Bloody hell, it's ridiculously cold.  If I could remember where I live, I'd order a taxi.

 

Edited by acute
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18 hours ago, acute said:

I just woke up in the beer garden. How long have I been out?

***k me!  It's 4 o'clock!

:o

Bloody hell, it's ridiculously cold.  If I could remember where I live, I'd order a taxi.

 

That'll  teach yer!  The Ship & Shovel Inn (try saying that when you've had a few) may have happy hour between 7 and 9pm.  But their ale is recycled sheep dip, bub.

 

Oh and whilst I've got you.  Why the flip do you always end up here once you're blitzed?  Anyone would think you wanna move in. 

 

Anyway, sir.  Before you bogger off have you seen my out of date cider?  15 months gone, tastes like battery acid but still carries that kick.  8p a bottle to you, chum.

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48 minutes ago, Mark One said:

Why the flip do you always end up here once you're blitzed?  Anyone would think you wanna move in.

Hardcore alkies always end up at the venue with the most generous opening hours.

 

51 minutes ago, Mark One said:

Before you bogger off have you seen my out of date cider?  15 months gone, tastes like battery acid but still carries that kick.

I may have accidentally waited til you walked away, gone behind the bar, stole the cider, run out to the beer garden, and drank the whole lot.

.....or maybe it was somebody else!

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Hmmm whats this taped to the rail… read, read, mumble, muss up hair, rolls eyes.

Hey boss, it seems we got a letter from the ladies temperance league putting us on notice that they’re trying to make this a dry county. Again. Should I toss it in the brink or invite the nudist carolers to perform and take their minds off of the evils of drinking? We'd have to hurry as they are quite popular at the local office Christmas party.

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No worries, Mr Moon.

 

Just stick a For Sale sign up on deck.  Should those busy bodies appear we'll state that the punters on board are possible buyers.

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Mr Moon, fetch yer cloth...

 

Some joker has scribbled a message on a table which reads.

THE HARPYS GRUB IS TOP NOTCH.

 

15,000 BLUEBOTTLES  CANT BE WRONG

 

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Sheesh! And to think I told them 150,000 can’t be wrong. Well whatcha gonna do?

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Oh and take yer cloth into the gents. Someone's scribbled on the wall near the ciggies machine.

 

DONT WORRY IF THE TELEPHONES OUT OF ORDER.

 

JUST TELL-AH-WOMEN INSTEAD AND HALF OF WEEVELTON WILL KNOW IN HALF AN HOUR

Edited by Mark One
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Tonight's meal of the day is.

(Posh fried bread)

Toasted bread smothered with dripping, diced carrot and a dusting of black pepper.  Daddies brown sauce is optional.

or

(Soup of the day)

Vegetable snatch   the cream of the crop in terms of what's been "found" on a field or barn.  Diced carrot, tinned potatoes with some parsley.

or

(Chicken wings un chips)

Chicken substitute most probably wood finch or pig.  With reheated chips curtesy of Brian's fish bar.

or

(Ploughman's sandwich)

A mix of leftovers from the above meals in a sandwich or cob.  Salad is optional but we only have celery.

 

ONE RAFFLE TICKET WITH EACH ORDER.

 

DONATED RAFFLE PRIZES 

 

banjo, walking stick, Cap, pair of shoes size 8, knifes, mystery bottle of booze,  fish hamper, cattle prod, sameri sword, cuddly toy, shot gun.

 

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I want that bango  :  ) May i have an order of the fried bread but without the carrots, please, Thank you ... oh yes a bottle of Bailey's too.... Christmas is coming  :  )

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Mr Moon will tend to your needs shortly.  Your RAFFLE number is 12,057

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Will have to charge extra for no carrots but can substitute the carrots with creamed corn without charge.

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