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The George And The Dragon is now open.


Mark One

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2 hours ago, Blue Star said:

No thank you. I prefer the extra charge.... Did i win the Bango?

Erm the carrots are on the floor.  That bloody cat!

 

Congrats though, sweetness.  Your raffle ticket is a winner, onnhim.  A pair of s....tell you what, have another ticket on the house/boat

 

 

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Rings the bell.

 

Attention to all who have frequented in after hours drinks.

 

We are adrift again *roars fill the deck*  Walter Flannel has just presented his raffle ticket and I now proudly present him with his prize.  I hope you find ample use at the age of 72yrs for a samari sword, onnit.  Off you go...no, stop talking and order a drink at the bar..bye...

 

And one more thing , dear bods.  If any of you come across a certain scoundrel by the name of ivor  Biggun *booing fills the air* remind him that being barred means dire consequences approach should his foul boot dare set foot on board the HARPY.

 

In other news, Bessy Sock has been graced with a  Baby boy.   Bessie's mother, Dotty has provided the HARPY  with home-made mini sausage rolls and a cheese pie  Join everyone  at the bar to wet the babies head.  *mass movement towards the bar with many reaching into their pockets even though at this time.of night mixed with the previous  hours getting trollied they do not know what they are doing....k-ching*

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Okay whomever vajazzeled the mens urinal you owe old man Mcsceevy a drink. It’s only fair after you caused his seizure causing him to fall and getting one hell of a goose egg when he hit his head on the porcelain.

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7 hours ago, newbloodmoon said:

Okay whomever vajazzeled the mens urinal you owe old man Mcsceevy a drink. It’s only fair after you caused his seizure causing him to fall and getting one hell of a goose egg when he hit his head on the porcelain.

Yes indeed!  It's a tight space as it is in the harpies washroom.  Better stick some tinsel up over the convenience.  That'll keep the boozed up bods double vision fixed where it should be in the future and prevent missing the target.

 

Oh fetch your black board and chalk, Mr Moon.  Fix it on the door to the gents with the following written.

 

IF SPRINKLE WHEN YOU TINKLE

 

BE A SWEET AND WIPE THE SEAT

 

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Introducing a new beverage for Christmas on the boat.

 

THE FRUITY THUMP(served in a pint pot)

THE CONTENTS

HALF a pint of heated water

1 bag of jelly tots melted into the water

4 shots of vodka

Topped up with strong cider.

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Okay blackboard out, chalk to the ready, and scribble, scribble, scribble. Throws on some holiday doodles as well. Waters down the cheap hooch and throws in a pinch of cinnamon in each. That should add a few extra pence per drink, and now to check the food inventory.

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5 hours ago, newbloodmoon said:

Okay blackboard out, chalk to the ready, and scribble, scribble, scribble. Throws on some holiday doodles as well. Waters down the cheap hooch and throws in a pinch of cinnamon in each. That should add a few extra pence per drink, and now to check the food inventory.

Good one, my festive little helper.

 

Keep an eye out for Barmy Boris.  He is now barred from the harpies Xmas party.  We don't want a repeat of last years debacle.  And I'm also thinking about issuing a dress code in the new year.  Which will include tidy looking hair.  Get yer hair cut, Boris!

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3 hours ago, Mark One said:

Keep an eye out for Barmy Boris.  He is now barred from the harpies Xmas party.  We don't want a repeat of last years debacle.  And I'm also thinking about issuing a dress code in the new year.  Which will include tidy looking hair.  Get yer hair cut, Boris!

I’m thinking bout hand delivering a raffle receipt to Boris and saying he won a night of free drinks at Shepards Gulch, that’s far enough away that we can shove off whilst our reputable guests enjoy a festive celebration.

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2 hours ago, newbloodmoon said:

I’m thinking bout hand delivering a raffle receipt to Boris and saying he won a night of free drinks at Shepards Gulch, that’s far enough away that we can shove off whilst our reputable guests enjoy a festive celebration.

Yeh, well said.  I've heard that he likes to sniff baking powder?!  Who would want to do that?

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So I’m thinking ‘bout New Years with it being ‘round the corner. We get the St. Beatrice convent of perpetual misery to donate  baby bottles in which we fill with domestic beer. We charge extra and say it’s for some charity or what not and call it the “Take a sip from the nip” campaign for the entire week prior.
 

I’m sure it will bring in quite a few people for a last minute tax dodge. 

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5 hours ago, newbloodmoon said:

So I’m thinking ‘bout New Years with it being ‘round the corner. We get the St. Beatrice convent of perpetual misery to donate  baby bottles in which we fill with domestic beer. We charge extra and say it’s for some charity or what not and call it the “Take a sip from the nip” campaign for the entire week prior.
 

I’m sure it will bring in quite a few people for a last minute tax dodge. 

We'll  have a bbq too.  Toxic Roger is bringing us something with 4 legs.

Edited by Mark One
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5 hours ago, newbloodmoon said:

So I’m thinking ‘bout New Years with it being ‘round the corner. We get the St. Beatrice convent of perpetual misery to donate  baby bottles in which we fill with domestic beer. We charge extra and say it’s for some charity or what not and call it the “Take a sip from the nip” campaign for the entire week prior.
 

I’m sure it will bring in quite a few people for a last minute tax dodge. 

Bernard Sausage is delivering a Lorry load of salt damaged stock - pork pies, mince pies, fags, party hats etc.  The bods in Orkney have totally cleaned out that beached trawler which suddenly developed technical difficulties off shore.  There's talk of a submarine and a rogue torpedo too.  But the crew of the ship were warmly recieved/snatched into safety by the god fearing folk of Orkney 

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So are still doing the nativity scene this year? If so I can round up some of the old timers to wear the sheep wool jackets and pretend to be barnyard animals. The jackets are pretty well moth eaten now but at least they’ll be mostly warm.

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On 12/14/2021 at 10:27 AM, newbloodmoon said:

So are still doing the nativity scene this year? If so I can round up some of the old timers to wear the sheep wool jackets and pretend to be barnyard animals. The jackets are pretty well moth eaten now but at least they’ll be mostly warm.

Yes it's still on.  I hear that Danny Pricks Freak Show is in town.  So if you need anybody or even a half crossed animal to fill any empty parts just give him a bell.

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That could be just the ticket. Speaking of tickets here’s a raffle idea, ‘win a date for a week with your very own circus freak’

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Hello Sir,

 

I'd like an extra large orange juice from concentrate, please.

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9 hours ago, ant0n said:

Hello Sir,

 

I'd like an extra large orange juice from concentrate, please.

Evenin, chief.  Your not grounded anymore then.  The wife's let you out.

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Plunks glass own and concentrates real hard….

”nope looks like you get it from the pitcher my man”

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Sidney Beetroot, the man with a very large head will be calling in on his day off from the freak show.  He's really keen on your datemate, idea.

 

 

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FESTIVE MENU SERVED ON THE 24TH ONNIT.

 

STARTER

cheese pasties

Or

Meat soup

 

MAIN

Turkey or burger with mash

Or

Pumpkin pasties with chips

 

PUDDING

plum trifle

Or

Apple pasties

 

SNACKS

Pickled onion buttys 

Liquorice allsorts

Cheese balls

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This food on this years menu has been provided free of charge by Besco markets as Tesco has decided to be an outright scrooge for Christmas this year.

All good ole Sydney has to do now is give me his deets and we can set up a smashing profile for the ladies to drool over.

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If you're interested, gaffer, the tribute band "Fūcks Bizz" have become available for Boxing Day, since Wobbly Wend at The Dog stabbed H to death with a Rollerball pen.

 

Edited by acute
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On 12/18/2021 at 12:28 AM, Mark One said:

Evenin, chief.  Your not grounded anymore then.  The wife's let you out.

Evenin', Chef.

 

Alright then. I'd like an extra large beer from concentrate with added carbon dioxide and dimethyl sulfoxide, please.

My wife doesn't suspect anything.

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On 12/20/2021 at 11:45 PM, acute said:

If you're interested, gaffer, the tribute band "Fūcks Bizz" have become available for Boxing Day, since Wobbly Wend at The Dog stabbed H to death with a Rollerball pen.

 

Nice idea, John, however Herbert's (the local bakers) grandson is heading this way from down south on his way to his next gig in Newcastle.

 

The lad will be singing his latest hit (Toxic Tarts) in the carpark outside the dragon on the 26th.  I dunno, I must be getting old these days but why would he sing about poisonous buns?  Surely old Herbert isn't going to be pleased.

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