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Corrupt-A-Wish


ImmortalSupernaturalAlien

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Granted! You traveled to the speed of light just to crash into another starship that was also traveling at the speed of light, creating a supernova! :D

I wish I could teleport.

Granted, your telephone now has a port to plug into.

I wish for a strawberry milkshake.

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Granted! But the person making it used mouldy strawberries and sour milk...

I wish for the ability to leap tall buildings with a single bound.

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Granted! You ended up leaping into space, and now there's no way for you to return to Earth.

I wish I had a vacation in Hawaii.

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Granted! But while there, you decide to explore deep sea diving and get both legs bit off by a shark.

I wish it would rain hard enough for the power to go out here at work.

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Granted! It rained so hard that the power went out, but the roof then caved in and the rain also flooded the building and your company lost everything.

I wish I could be in a medically supervised experiment in which I could experience death, but then be brought back to life with no bad health effects.

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Granted! - but you come back to life with the numerals '666' etched under your forehead.

I wish I could meet with Vladimir Putin - I got sumthin! to tell him :whistle:

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Granted! You meet with Putin, and you tell him what you want to, but then get a one way ticket to Siberia for an extended stay...

I wish I could meet my doppelganger.

Edited by Hugh
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Granted! but then your doppelganger kills you - and takes over your identity :yes:

I wish I had some gum.

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Granted! You get some gum, but accidentally swallow it...

I wish for world peace. :)

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Granted! You get some gum, but accidentally swallow it...

I wish for world peace. :)

Granted, the fairy world is now at peace, but they are planning a mass assault on the human world.

I wish for a new pair of pants.

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Granted! You get some gum, but accidentally swallow it...

I wish for world peace. :)

Granted; but it leads to The End of the Whole Mess.

Ummm... I wish for... a... I know! A luxury yacht!

Granted, the fairy world is now at peace, but they are planning a mass assault on the human world.

I wish for a new pair of pants.

Scratch that previous stuff

Granted! But they are too tight and really ithcy!

Can I have my luxury yacht now please?

Edited by Mangoze
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Granted! But on your maiden voyage you travel to the Bermuda Triangle and suddenly find yourself on a sea of mercury on a far away planet...

I wish I never get old.

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Granted, but the yacht's concept of luxury is defined by Marlin Manson and he wants you to sit on his lap as black lights storm out a horrific pattern of flashing abominations......

I wish for a prime rib dinner.

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Granted! But on your maiden voyage you travel to the Bermuda Triangle and suddenly find yourself on a sea of mercury on a far away planet...

I wish I never get old.

Granted, but to maintain status quo you must drink 35 liters of pigeon bile everyday for the rest of your life.

I wish Taco Bell offered real food.

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Granted! Taco Bell now offers real food, and nobody goes there anymore...

I wish that I didn't have to drink 35 L of pigeon bile every day for the rest of my life LOL!

Edited by Hugh
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Granted, now you are offered the same amount of pigeon bile only via....another...less comfortable....usually exit point......

I wish that George RR Martin would release the last 2 GoTs books next month.

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Granted! He releases them as you wished, but because he has been rushed, they aren't good at all... :(

I wish that Noah would have just swatted them two mosquitos.

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Granted, but instead of the mosquitoes he missed the flying scorpions with loach mouths

I wish for a giant battle cat that I could ride to work instead of driving my Honda Accord

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Granted! But now you have to catch and feed your Giant Battle Cat 35 pigeons a day, his regular diet...

I wish for a computer that has access to every other computer in the world.

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Granted, but it only exists on the subatomic level leaving you with no way to interact with it outside of being shrunk down to the minuscule size yourself

I wish for a complete collection of Shakespeare's handwritten scripts

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Granted! You now have everything that Shakespeare ever wrote, and it is worth a fortune, but a gang of thespians arrive one midsummer night and steal them all!

I wish I could immolate, but not be burned.

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Granted, you are merely charred, scorched, torched, conflagrated (which as it turns out is not an actual conjugation), coaled and wholly consumed by the tyranny of flames but nobody makes a joke that burns you at the end of the affair

I wish for a six legged camel

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Granted! You now have a six-legged camel, but Likely Guy demands that you return it.

I wish to be King of a castle filled with beautiful female genies who will grant me any wish.

Edited by Hugh
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Granted, but it is so full of genies (floor to ceiling filled, making sardine cans look spacious packed) that you can never enter it to take part in the orgy of wish granting

Alt

Granted, but the Queen of the castle puts a restraining order on you barring entrance to the paradise of wish granting

Alt

Granted, but the only wish they will grant is one spoken in a now dead, never recorded, dialect of medieval Burmese

I wish for a dozen mint condition S. Severus coins (Eastern Minted)

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...Suddenly the room began to shake as Bubblykiss fell to his knees and covered his ears...

Bubblykiss found himself deep within the cold and aluring cellars of the Emporers treasury. A ghostly image of Mark appeared nearby and waved with a greeting. "Here you are then...pick your 12 coins...there are hundreds tochoose from...right Im off before the guards and priests find you. Be lucky!".

Bubblykiss looked around in panic and suddenly realised he had been brought back through time...NOOOoooooooo!

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