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my_psychosis

Ruin a first date with just one sentence.

933 posts in this topic

Whats the point of being a vegetarian when you cant put HP Brown Sauce on it?

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"OK I'll pick you up about 8 and we'll go for a meal at the George and Dragon"

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I am the carrier of a very terminal disease.

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"I've seen faces like yours on the Horror Channel."

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Have you ever thought of giving matchmaking a try? Here, put two hands and a face on this! 

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When you smile you remind me of uncle fester

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"Shut UP!" is just an expression! like "Get Outa Here!"

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For our second date, would you like to join me on my annual Swedish death cleaning next weekend?

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*sniff sniff* Did something die or is that how you normally smell? 

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 You'd be perfect for a game I just invented. What do you say about a round of "Where"s Lardo?" 

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hi, i'm a self-destructive recovering alcoholic agoraphobe, want to have a relationship where the most intimate thing we do is hug?*

 

*this is my dating profile.

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"Thith ith like my thixth date in like three weekth!!  theventh I geth if you count Thally... or Ramona.."

Edited by purrrpetrator
almotht forgot Thally
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I appeared on that TV show call Crimestoppers!

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Wow my friends were right, this is a perfect match between your face and my butt.

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On 18/10/2017 at 7:24 AM, newbloodmoon said:

Wow my friends were right, this is a perfect match between your face and my butt.

Nooooooooooo

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On 16/10/2017 at 6:03 PM, Mr Mork said:

I appeared on that TV show call Crimestoppers!

U were the host then? ;)

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Allright i'm gonna talk in your language so we can have an intelligent conversation. "OINK"

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"You call that a knife?"

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"Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"

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On 10/21/2017 at 9:45 AM, acute said:

"You call that a knife?"

as a cook, this would actually work. you insult my my kitchen knives at your peril. the peril being you leave and don't get to eat the nice meal i made.

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My 12 kids cant wait to meet you, honey bun X

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My leg is REALLY hurting. 

Do you mind if I take it off ? 

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8 hours ago, Mr Mork said:

My 12 kids cant wait to meet you, honey bun X

It is not the twelve kids that ruined this...its the name calling..

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8 hours ago, RoofGardener said:

My leg is REALLY hurting. 

Do you mind if I take it off ? 

Not ruined...

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So...are you a little Preggo or is that just baby fat?

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