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Smacking Children, good or bad?


seeder

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I was smacked a few times as a kid, plus smacked by a teacher... and caned by a headmaster. Did it leave a lasting impression on me? Not sure, dont think so...

 

what do you lot think? I expect most of us here in middle age or thereabouts have tales of smacking....but modern families?

 

 

Quote

 

Some children need smacking': Women defend hitting kids to punish them after This Morning's phone-in over proposed ban

    The debate was instigated after a phone-in on ITV's This Morning
    Programme asked viewers to share their views on the proposed UN ban
    The viewers aired a mixture of views on Twitter


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3606756/Should-parents-JAILED-smacking-children.html#ixzz49b9ylTVg

 

 

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Born in a modern family, got a few smacks growing up.

I don't resent my parents, I thank them for it. We didn't grow up in a house of fear or intimidation and there was never any type of abuse.

But I sure did think twice about making certain decisions (which of course I followed through with, like a dolt.) I just think there are certain concepts kids can't understand or refuse to take seriously - but all forms of life understand physical pain.

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The article ponders if parents should be jailed for it, I think not so long as the punishment wasnt excessive like a full on 'beating'....

 

what about other people punishing the kids, like teachers/headmasters?

I had a step dad for many years, in a way it wasnt his place to punish me for anything....yet he did.... my mum didnt seem bothered at that . WHY? because a father figure ACTED as a father?   Looking back no punishments were prolonged though....maybe just a spanking and sent to bed without any meal... tho it didnt happen often...

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Smacking adults, good or bad? There's your answer. No kid should EVER be smacked!! Let me see someone do it, and it's going to be a problem!

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Adults spank, hit, smack...doesn't matter how you word it, out of their anger and frustration. Teaching children that violence is not only okay but that is how we resolve issues.

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Just now, Dark_Grey said:

I was smacked as a kid and I never respond to anything with violence. You will find a lot of professional fighters, who are literally beaten for a living, are often reported to be very gentle guys in public. You know what makes someone violent? Bad parenting, bad environment.

Do you have children? 

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My daughter got a swat on her bottom a few times when she didn't listen.  She had numerous warnings about her behaviour. It was never with anything but my hand, using a spoon or strap is unacceptable in my opinion.  I would send her to her room so that she could think about it.  When I called her out to talk about it, I would ask her why she was spanked.  She would tell me why.  Did this continue throughout her childhood? No because she learned what consequences are.  Now as a teenager she is respectful and always praised by adults for being polite.  She volunteers at the community museum and the workers in the museum were shocked that she asked to volunteer because they don't get teenagers asking to donate their time.  She has been offered jobs because she actually works when given a job.  

Spanking does not mean beating.  That is where the issue is.  Our jobs as parents are to ensure our children are ready to go out in the world as self sufficient law abiding citizens.  The "me" kids who act like they should be given everything they want and act anyway they want just because they were born are going to be facing a tough life when they get fired for not understanding consequences.

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15 minutes ago, glorybebe said:

My daughter got a swat on her bottom a few times when she didn't listen.  She had numerous warnings about her behaviour. It was never with anything but my hand, using a spoon or strap is unacceptable in my opinion.  I would send her to her room so that she could think about it.  When I called her out to talk about it, I would ask her why she was spanked.  She would tell me why.  Did this continue throughout her childhood? No because she learned what consequences are.  Now as a teenager she is respectful and always praised by adults for being polite.  She volunteers at the community museum and the workers in the museum were shocked that she asked to volunteer because they don't get teenagers asking to donate their time.  She has been offered jobs because she actually works when given a job.  

Spanking does not mean beating.  That is where the issue is.  Our jobs as parents are to ensure our children are ready to go out in the world as self sufficient law abiding citizens.  The "me" kids who act like they should be given everything they want and act anyway they want just because they were born are going to be facing a tough life when they get fired for not understanding consequences.

My daughter turned out the same and guess what? I never spanked her. There are other, more humane ways of getting a child's attention. 

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As my 'real' dad once said...... "I got clipped around the ear for doing 'that' when I was a young boy.....and it never did me any harm.....well.... except I cant hear out that ear anymore"    :lol:

Seriously though..... what is acceptable? Smack on the bottom? In my book...yes... slap in the face/hair pulling/kicking/throwing or dragging a child?  BIG NO! Using a strap, a stick or any implement? BIG NO

A slap on the bottom never really....really....hurt me. But it jolted me into accepting I did wrong and not doing it again...

 

 

 

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It depends on the child. I had an older sister that was extremely rebellious, from the womb, and always pushed the limits of what she could get away with. I think I remember her getting spanked maybe ten times. Being the youngest, I learned from my older sisters and brother what we could get away with and what we wouldn't. If I was ever spanked it didn't have a great effect on me because I don't remember it.

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1 hour ago, Dark_Grey said:

Born in a modern family, got a few smacks growing up.

I don't resent my parents, I thank them for it. We didn't grow up in a house of fear or intimidation and there was never any type of abuse.

But I sure did think twice about making certain decisions (which of course I followed through with, like a dolt.) I just think there are certain concepts kids can't understand or refuse to take seriously - but all forms of life understand physical pain.

Well, you kind of DID grow up in a house of fear and intimidation. The fear of getting physically corrected is what kept you in line.

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I have no problem with spanking as long as they are not being beaten, there is a difference between spanking and beating a child.  I prefer trying to reason with them but with some kids spanking is the only way they will listen.

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Yep, I have no problem with spanking or "open hand" smacking an unruly child.

 

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18 minutes ago, Ashotep said:

I have no problem with spanking as long as they are not being beaten, there is a difference between spanking and beating a child.  I prefer trying to reason with them but with some kids spanking is the only way they will listen.

Gawd, my parents tried everything before they resorted to spanking. It was usually a third or fourth serious offense, in a short amount of time, before it came to that. My sister was very stubborn.

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21 minutes ago, Michelle said:

Gawd, my parents tried everything before they resorted to spanking. It was usually a third or fourth serious offense, in a short amount of time, before it came to that. My sister was very stubborn.

So many people equate losing temper and beating a child with a light swat.  Of course you try to reason with children. But it doesn't work.  How many bullies have I seen in schools because there was no way shape or form of discipline in their home?

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12 minutes ago, glorybebe said:

So many people equate losing temper and beating a child with a light swat.  Of course you try to reason with children. But it doesn't work.  How many bullies have I seen in schools because there was no way shape or form of discipline in their home?

And kids sometimes don't realize how dangerous what they are doing is. They think they are invincible. When we were all grown up and moved away from home we would tell Mother some of the things we did she never knew about and laugh about it. We lived and didn't get seriously hurt. She would just put her hand to her heart and look up at the sky. There would have been hell to pay if she had found out about it at the time. Especially for anyone who was supposed to be supervising us. They probably would never have let us go back to these people's houses. haha

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1 hour ago, barbco196 said:

Well, you kind of DID grow up in a house of fear and intimidation. The fear of getting physically corrected is what kept you in line.

..and fear of getting fired keeps me working hard at my job. Fear is going to be an element whenever punishment is present. That is not the same as living in fear. Again - I never felt afraid to be home or afraid to be with my parents. Quite the opposite.

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5 minutes ago, Dark_Grey said:

..and fear of getting fired keeps me working hard at my job. Fear is going to be an element whenever punishment is present. That is not the same as living in fear. Again - I never felt afraid to be home or afraid to be with my parents. Quite the opposite.

They don't think it strikes fear in the heart of every teenager to have their cell phone or computer taken away for a week or two?:D

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21 minutes ago, Michelle said:

And kids sometimes don't realize how dangerous what they are doing is. They think they are invincible. When we were all grown up and moved away from home we would tell Mother some of the things we did she never knew about and laugh about it. We lived and didn't get seriously hurt. She would just put her hand to her heart and look up at the sky. There would have been hell to pay if she had found out about it at the time. Especially for anyone who was supposed to be supervising us. They probably would never have let us go back to these people's houses. haha

The fact that you said, "we would tell Mother" is very telling....yikes!

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8 minutes ago, barbco196 said:

The fact that you said, "we would tell Mother" is very telling....yikes!

Yes, at fun family get togethers we would start talking and laughing. Things like a riding a homemage zip line off a ridge, at the age of eight, with no safety straps. Mountain biking and jumping over crevasses that would surely have serioulsy injured any one of us if we had misjudged or climbing to the top of a 75 foot tree. We were what they now call free range kids. Being the tomboy that I was, I could have been severely injured at any time. As was the case with all of the team sports I was involved in. I was absolutely certain, at the time, I had a handle on whatever I was doing. I would probably have a heart attack if I saw a kid doing the same things I did, but looking back, it was a wonderful childhood and I don't have any regrets or serious scars.

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To think about it my dad took the belt to me maybe a handful of times. My grandma (devil woman) could keep her hand off a hickory switch.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hickory%20switch

The back of my legs were often raw. All that did was build up hate and resentment for her. As for my dad, I deserved when I got it and it was rare. When it cam to my kids it was about the same, a spank and hard work. Rarely every had to spank them. Wife and I did our best to raise'em right. Taught them to earn what they wanted and gain self-responsibility. 

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6 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

To think about it my dad took the belt to me maybe a handful of times. My grandma (devil woman) could keep her hand off a hickory switch.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hickory%20switch

The back of my legs were often raw. All that did was build up hate and resentment for her. As for my dad, I deserved when I got it and it was rare. When it cam to my kids it was about the same, a spank and hard work. Rarely every had to spank them. Wife and I did our best to raise'em right. Taught them to earn what they wanted and gain self-responsibility. 

Is the "devil woman" your dad's mother? Why do you think she was so mean? 

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