"Soulmate"/"Twin Soul" Issue

[dreamfree]

I've been lurking for a while, but something told me I should register and ask for others' feedback on an issue I've been having.  I come with a family history of psychic powers and grew up hearing stories about soulmates, twin flames, etc., so I'm no stranger to the concept, but I feel confused about my own experiences.  I'm trying to figure out who this man that I've had a connection with is in my soul family and why, 9 years after the last time we connected, we're communicating psychically again.

A little background.  I met him when I was in college.  I had taken a low wage job to help pay my way through school, and he was my boss.  He's about 9 years older than me, but the first day I walked into the office, I felt like something was drawing me to him.  There was physical attraction, but something else I couldn't name.  We became almost friends over the next few months and he would make all these flattering comments.  He got me to come out of my shell of social anxiety and introversion and open up a little to him as well as others.  He also taught me to be more confident.  He frequently took my emotional pain away and helped me focus my thoughts just through the touch of his hand.  He eventually got to the point of asking me out in not-so-obvious ways, but because of the intensity of the connection, I'd always end up running from him.  I noticed around this time that he'd always know exactly what I was feeling just by looking in my eyes and that he would frequently know my plans for after I left work, though I kept to myself and didn't really share what I did in my free time with anyone.  This continued for months, then finally when I felt I could reciprocate without fear, the company was restructured and his new boss set limits on dating within departments.  He tried to get me to switch departments, but I was at a point where school was over and I needed to move elsewhere to pursue my career.  He wanted me to stay, but due to circumstances, I had to leave.  For a few months after I left, I'd get images of him in my head, breathlessness, and discomfort in my chest out of nowhere.  I assumed it was just me missing him and started ignoring the sensations until they eventually seemed to disappear.  Oddly, I ended up dating and eventually marrying someone we had both worked with.  My husband and I ran into him about a year after I left, and until I looked him straight in the eye, it seemed like he didn't remember me.  I said some things I regretted about how my husband and I worked out well together and he got this unblinking look on his face and left without a word.  Since then, my husband and I have had children and settled into a very good life together.  "He" has also had at least one child and gotten married.  However, a few months ago, I started getting these little feelings like I needed to go back to the place we all worked.  We ended up taking a family trip to the area.  While visiting a location about 50 miles from where I expected to see anyone we knew, I made a casual comment, something about 'why did I ever leave?' and out of nowhere, "he" appears walking about 100 feet in front of me.  He didn't engage either of us, but I know it was him because while I was scolding one of my kids, his head turned toward us.  But, he disappeared and we continued on with our family outing.  Since then, however, the psychic connection is back and stronger than ever, to the point that I can now not only hear/communicate with him, but also feel him.  Sometimes it comes with that chest tightness, but most of the time now, it comes with a sense of peace.  I know most would tell me to close it off again, but I can't do that until I understand it.  I know psychologically, I carry a little regret over running away all those years ago, but spiritually, I feel like there's something important here that I need to know. 

Can anyone point me to what might be going on?  I try to engage "him" by asking him questions, but all I get is, "Something good is going to happen tomorrow." or "This is how it's suppose to be." or "I miss you."  Are there any ways for me to get some perspective on why our link is open again?

[XenoFish]

3 minutes ago, dreamfree said:

Are there any ways for me to get some perspective on why our link is open again?

It's an emotional connection. That's it. I couldn't read the huge paragraph so I'm going from the first and last ones. (I have dyslexia so everything blurs).

[+ouija ouija]

Hi dreamfree, welcome to UM . Can you explain exactly what you mean by 'communicating' with him now? Are you having a back-and-forth conversation with him? And when you say you can 'feel' him, are you just feeling his presence or can you feel something material?

I'm tempted to say just forget him and focus on your family. If you let this get a hold in your mind it could become very disruptive in your life. I mean, there's no way he could become a part of your life, is there? What could he possibly have to tell you that he hasn't had a chance to in the past? You chose to leave him so there can't have been that much of a connection, can there?

[John from Lowell]

Hello dreamfree,

Soul bonds are like this. There is a relationship with the spirit of this man that transcends physical reality. What I would suggest is a regular telepathic connection with him where you just talk with each other.

John

 

[Claire.]

Dreamfree, careful you don't get wrapped up in an over-romanticized fantasy about the relationship. It's not the universe or some cosmic spiritual force causing the emotional and physical reactions within you - it's YOU. You've placed yourself in la la soulmate fantasy land, and in doing so, you have attached more meaning and significance to the relationship than it probably deserves. I don't doubt the connection, but I don't for a moment believe in the concept of soulmates. Strong connections between people happen all the time and could be the result of many factors, including not so romantic or spiritual things like DNA similarities.

If, however, you want to stick to the idea that he's your soulmate, then by virtue of its definition, a soulmate can be anyone (spouses, friends, colleagues, children, etc.). So the title does not necessarily belong to this man exclusively. Remember that.

Good luck with everything.

[Paige.]

I'm also curious as to what exactly that 'link' is. Are you speaking to him in person or in your head? As for the twin flame/soulmate issue, I don't believe in that sort of thing either and it is beyond me why people are so anxious to label relationships as such.

[XenoFish]

2 minutes ago, TooLateForTears said:

it is beyond me why people are so anxious to label relationships as such.

Because it's a fantasy that's more comfortable than reality. Gives meaning to something that really amount to the desire to breed.

[Aenwyn]

I don't believe in soul mates per se but I've had a very similar connection with an individual with my life (although I am in regular communication with this individual) and I don't understand the reason why quite yet. 

I can tell when this individual is thinking of me, what they're feeling, etc from a distance. It's quite an unusual experience. 

My speculation is that this individual is a part of my life so that the two of us can learn some sort of lesson, that's all I got for now. 

Take your time and don't do anything rash, feeling a connection with someone doesn't necessarily mean that you need or should break up with your SO in order to understand it.

Edited July 8, 2016 by Aenwyn

[Frank Merton]

The phenomenon can be understood in terms of the rebirth or "reincarnation" ideas of much of Asia, as can also the phenomena of remembrance of past lives and deja vu.  I don't know -- all of this tends to be unreproducible testimonial and therefore doesn't meet scientific standards.

[dreamfree]

First off, I don't intend to keep thinking on this for too long.  I know it's more important to live in this active life than to live in my head and I truly don't believe this man and I were intended to be together in this lifetime.  Just so that's clear.  I just was hoping to understand why it crept up out of nowhere again when everything is going well in my active life. 

I know many people are non-believers and that's okay since we're all at different places on our ongoing spiritual journeys and everyone has a different understanding and labeling of the same phenomena.  I do have multiple soulmates as I believe most of my significant social interactions have been with various people from my soul family, many of whom I have had various spiritual bonds/connections with through the years.  What's bothering me is that I was under the impression this connection was totally gone from my life since I had received the lesson I needed from him,  but it popped back up out of nowhere.  When I talk about being able to "feel" him, it's hard to explain unless you've experienced it.  I've only met one or two others who have ever understood, but let me try to put it in words.  When we were in the same physical space, I would know he was within 5 feet because I'd get a tingle at the back of my neck or a resonance that instantly calmed me (I used to have mild panic attacks on a fairly regular basis and the resonance would literally stop it in its place).  Every single time and only him.  When the link or whatever you want to call it opened back up a few months ago, I'd get that same tingling feeling, then it was like the same energy he gave off was surrounding me (no panic attacks though) and I hear his voice saying maybe just one or two phrases, then it's over.  We've had a couple of conversations verbally through a meditative or astral state, but nothing productive that would lead me to an answer. 

Anyway, regardless of whether I am imagining this or there is an actual connection, either of which can be defended depending on what you believe, I can usually resolve my issues through mediation, but I'm not finding the resolution.  I don't know what to say.  For me, this journey is really trying to know why it's happening, but I guess what I'm seeing is that there is no cold hard answer.  It could be psychological.  It could be spiritual.  It could be something else.  I may never get an answer and I know that.  Maybe I never learned the lesson I thought I had learned.  I just wish I could get to the answer. 

[Claire.]

Dreamfree, perhaps you are looking for an answer that doesn't exist. Meeting up again could have been a simple coincidence.So rather than try to attach anything more to it,try instead to resolve your feelings for him and about him. I understand the sensations you get, we all get them. I would also suggest that you get them with people other than him as well, only you don't notice them as much or you do, but don't attribute the same significance to them. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. As far as the lesson you supposedly learned or had to learn, what was it? I don't so much see this as a lesson, as I do a situation where there was an intense attraction that was never really acted upon. That is why I think so much of it is unresolved for you. I don't know, but would it help if you met up with him and got it all out?

[XenoFish]

Emotions are what causes links to persons, places, and things. It's all about the feels. A lot of this reminds me of wishful thinking for some reason. That you want a bond so you created a "bond" with the idea of it being "soul mates".

[+ouija ouija]

A thought has just come to me: you were the one who moved away from him ..... he was the one who wanted to speed things up a bit between you and made suggestions of how that could be achieved given  the new restrictions at your workplace. You not only didn't go along with this but you actually married someone else and started a family. When you and your husband bumped into him, I get the impression that he was upset .... plus, you said things that were unkind. So, what you could be experiencing could be coming solely from him because he wants a romantic relationship with you so badly ...... perhaps he is actually heartbroken, which is a very strong emotion and through which he could project connections to you that you then feel are partly coming from you. You seem as if you have genuinely put him in your past ...... leave him there, don't stir things up again because of what he is feeling, not you.

[rb20]

I agree with Ouija, When he starts to think of you shut it OFF. You really dont' need to get anyone involved in  your life when you have a life already. I suggest going Vegetarian for enlightenment and control over outside influences.  When any one human tries to penetrate my mind and thoughts. I instantly STOP them from doing so. It will age you and exhaust you