XenoFish Posted July 20, 2016 #26 Share Posted July 20, 2016 15 hours ago, Sherapy said: A dear friend of mine has Alzhiemer's and anyone who has walked this journey knows the challenges. I am live in and it's 24/7. I am finding great comfort in Buddhism and running meditation. It is literally saving my sanity, my emotional health, and maybe I am gonna get a great body from all the running. My friend has no belief system at all, and she is struggling with fear of death at a level I have never seen in a person. I actually think she might benefit from some kind of belief and want to hear some ideas, I think in some cases God may not be the worst idea. Thanks everybody, psyche I want your voice of reason, X what are your thoughts, Frank do you think I should encourage Buddhism. 8 tee your wisdom is valued, Sharon your thoughts are appreciated. My friend needs peace. All opinions matter even yours Habitat. Lol I'm going to go against my normal grain here and say that perhaps spiritual beliefs are there just to comfort us when facing the great unknown. Giving a sense of security and comfort in life. So if you think it may comfort her then do what you believe to be right. I'm glad buddhism is working for you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlitterRose Posted July 20, 2016 #27 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Maybe she would benefit from some meditation, or even just some breathing exercises to help with the anxiety. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted July 20, 2016 Author #28 Share Posted July 20, 2016 1 hour ago, ChaosRose said: Maybe she would benefit from some meditation, or even just some breathing exercises to help with the anxiety. Yes, she is learning to breath ( through everything) and we are trying to teach her simple meditation. Great ideas Rose. I am open to any simple ways she has Alzheimer's. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted July 20, 2016 Author #29 Share Posted July 20, 2016 (edited) 1 hour ago, XenoFish said: I'm going to go against my normal grain here and say that perhaps spiritual beliefs are there just to comfort us when facing the great unknown. Giving a sense of security and comfort in life. So if you think it may comfort her then do what you believe to be right. I'm glad buddhism is working for you. Thanks for your kind words X; I am thinking like you-- sometimes it can really help. Thanks Hun for your support of my path. It really is helping me deal with this current reality and be at peace. Edited July 20, 2016 by Sherapy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted July 20, 2016 #30 Share Posted July 20, 2016 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Sherapy said: Thanks for your kind words X; I am thinking like you-- sometimes it can really help. Thanks Hun for your support of my path. It really is helping me deal with this current reality and be at peace. I'm looking for something to help me deal with mine. I wish you the best and if I haven't already told you, I respect and admire what your doing. You're a good woman. Be proud of that. Edited July 20, 2016 by XenoFish 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Greenman Posted July 20, 2016 #31 Share Posted July 20, 2016 So sorry about your friend. She is lucky to have you as a friend. Do you have a Universalist Unitarian Church in your area? They are Pantheist for the most part, some members are Atheist, some are Buddhist, some are Pagan. They are a great resource for spiritual needs, for those who don't want the Judeo-Christian construct. The minister at our local UU is wonderful and understanding when it come to spiritual counseling. http://www.uua.org/beliefs 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tatetopa Posted July 21, 2016 #32 Share Posted July 21, 2016 My heart goes out to you Sherapy. My wife and I have lost all of our parents now. My mother-in-law with Alzheimer's was the hardest. The fear comes, as well as frustration, and anger. In the first couple of years, my mother-in-law who had been quite brilliant was aware of he slipping mentality. It is more than loss of memory. I believe the plaque interferes with all sorts of pathways and crosses emotions and rationality. Although she couldn't articulate it, I think she felt very powerless about losing what she held as the core of herself. She was a voracious reader most of her life, so my wife and her sister read to her. Depending on her own personality, visits from kids, puppies, and kittens can be good. The Japanese are getting good results from what you might call the next generation of Furbies; plush robots that respond to touch and voice. Music can bring back portions of the self. My mother-in -law could no longer play the piano or sing by herself, but she became animated when my wife or sister did. She could dredge up old songs and sing along sometimes, it was good. In early stages as you might be describing, conversations may be just the ticket. Time to discuss an afterlife, or Buddhism is now. Later on, complex ideas become slippery. Also Sherapy, take care of yourself. When you are with her, do some things that bring you joy. You need it and she also may benefit. Emotions are perceived long after critical thinking becomes a challenge. She will bask in your happiness as if it were her own. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Walker Posted July 21, 2016 #33 Share Posted July 21, 2016 I am touched by your concern for your friend and your willingness to suspend your own opinions in order to do what is best for them I cant help much even thiugh i have been close to, and watched my mother, father, grandmother and both my parent in laws die from the complications of old age. Both my wife's parents had Alzheimers, and by the time they died were too far gone to worry about death. He was an atheist and pragmatic, while mentally well, while she had an absolute faith in god and that she would eventually rise and gain eternal life. In the end time, however, they had no concept of who they were, let alone concepts like death . My own father was non religious and faced death bravely but with resignation. My grandmother fought it with every breath in her body through a number of increasingly serious strokes. My mum feared death but more the separation form family and friends She alos fought with all her will and strength to stay alive. All I could do in each case was to express my love in words and actions in order to give what comfort i could . i think that giving such such comfort should transcend our own beliefs or sense of truth and it is important to do what w e can to ease a dying person rather than insist on the rightness of our own beliefs. . In'my opinion it is too late to try and construct a faith based response to death with an older person who either believes or does not With my mother, who died last year, i spent a lot of time in the hospital deliberately talking with her abut her life, her achievements, her legacy of kids, grand kids and great grand kids. We talked about death and why it is nothing to fear in itself. i emphasised how she would live on in our memories and promised to give a eulogy which included her own written story of her early life. She was lucky to have people with her for the last few weeks, as she declined due to pneumonia and frailty after breaking her hip. it is the process of offering comfort and companionship to the dying which is important for them, to ease their fears, take their mind off dying, and put it back on more positive happier thoughts. Alzheimer's makes this process more difficult, due to memory loss, although often ealry memories are the last to go, and can still be used to make a person think of happy times. In the end my mother in law was so far gone all i could do was care for her physically, and hold her hand which seemed to make her happy. She died peacefully, looking out the window at our garden, while my own mother fought for every breath of life until the end. In some ways end phase Alzheimers is a blessing to the very elderly. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted July 21, 2016 Author #34 Share Posted July 21, 2016 7 hours ago, GreenmansGod said: So sorry about your friend. She is lucky to have you as a friend. Do you have a Universalist Unitarian Church in your area? They are Pantheist for the most part, some members are Atheist, some are Buddhist, some are Pagan. They are a great resource for spiritual needs, for those who don't want the Judeo-Christian construct. The minister at our local UU is wonderful and understanding when it come to spiritual counseling. http://www.uua.org/beliefs Omg, GMG yes, we do have a UU church. And she would be open to it. Thank you for the suggestion and kind words. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted July 21, 2016 Author #35 Share Posted July 21, 2016 8 hours ago, XenoFish said: I'm looking for something to help me deal with mine. I wish you the best and if I haven't already told you, I respect and admire what your doing. You're a good woman. Be proud of that. Thank you so much X; I admire you too. You are a great example and inspiration for me. Thank you for you kind words. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted July 21, 2016 Author #36 Share Posted July 21, 2016 2 hours ago, Tatetopa said: My heart goes out to you Sherapy. My wife and I have lost all of our parents now. My mother-in-law with Alzheimer's was the hardest. The fear comes, as well as frustration, and anger. In the first couple of years, my mother-in-law who had been quite brilliant was aware of he slipping mentality. It is more than loss of memory. I believe the plaque interferes with all sorts of pathways and crosses emotions and rationality. Although she couldn't articulate it, I think she felt very powerless about losing what she held as the core of herself. She was a voracious reader most of her life, so my wife and her sister read to her. Depending on her own personality, visits from kids, puppies, and kittens can be good. The Japanese are getting good results from what you might call the next generation of Furbies; plush robots that respond to touch and voice. Music can bring back portions of the self. My mother-in -law could no longer play the piano or sing by herself, but she became animated when my wife or sister did. She could dredge up old songs and sing along sometimes, it was good. In early stages as you might be describing, conversations may be just the ticket. Time to discuss an afterlife, or Buddhism is now. Later on, complex ideas become slippery. Also Sherapy, take care of yourself. When you are with her, do some things that bring you joy. You need it and she also may benefit. Emotions are perceived long after critical thinking becomes a challenge. She will bask in your happiness as if it were her own. Thank you, I would love to talk to you personally. Can we find a way? Your post is a godsend. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted July 21, 2016 Author #37 Share Posted July 21, 2016 44 minutes ago, Mr Walker said: I am touched by your concern for your friend and your willingness to suspend your own opinions in order to do what is best for them I cant help much even thiugh i have been close to, and watched my mother, father, grandmother and both my parent in laws die from the complications of old age. Both my wife's parents had Alzheimers, and by the time they died were too far gone to worry about death. He was an atheist and pragmatic, while mentally well, while she had an absolute faith in god and that she would eventually rise and gain eternal life. In the end time, however, they had no concept of who they were, let alone concepts like death . My own father was non religious and faced death bravely but with resignation. My grandmother fought it with every breath in her body through a number of increasingly serious strokes. My mum feared death but more the separation form family and friends She alos fought with all her will and strength to stay alive. All I could do in each case was to express my love in words and actions in order to give what comfort i could . i think that giving such such comfort should transcend our own beliefs or sense of truth and it is important to do what w e can to ease a dying person rather than insist on the rightness of our own beliefs. . In'my opinion it is too late to try and construct a faith based response to death with an older person who either believes or does not With my mother, who died last year, i spent a lot of time in the hospital deliberately talking with her abut her life, her achievements, her legacy of kids, grand kids and great grand kids. We talked about death and why it is nothing to fear in itself. i emphasised how she would live on in our memories and promised to give a eulogy which included her own written story of her early life. She was lucky to have people with her for the last few weeks, as she declined due to pneumonia and frailty after breaking her hip. it is the process of offering comfort and companionship to the dying which is important for them, to ease their fears, take their mind off dying, and put it back on more positive happier thoughts. Alzheimer's makes this process more difficult, due to memory loss, although often ealry memories are the last to go, and can still be used to make a person think of happy times. In the end my mother in law was so far gone all i could do was care for her physically, and hold her hand which seemed to make her happy. She died peacefully, looking out the window at our garden, while my own mother fought for every breath of life until the end. In some ways end phase Alzheimers is a blessing to the very elderly. Thank you MW, your words have brought me great comfort. Thanks for all the examples and sharing your insights. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubbly_Dooright Posted July 21, 2016 #38 Share Posted July 21, 2016 ChaosRose: Maybe she would benefit from some meditation, or even just some breathing exercises to help with the anxiety. I firmly feel that breathing exercises are essential in calming, relaxing, and such. I even do a form of breathing in and breathing out when I put my contact lenses in. Most of the time, I have trouble, but when I do the breathing, they go in no problem. I guess, it's the relaxation that comes with it, that relaxes my eye lids. So, yes, I would agree with this suggestion. Xeno: I'm looking for something to help me deal with mine. I wish you the best and if I haven't already told you, I respect and admire what your doing. You're a good woman. Be proud of that. I seem to remember that you have and many times. In which, I'm always right behind you, agreeing one hundred percent. tatetopa: My heart goes out to you Sherapy. My wife and I have lost all of our parents now. My mother-in-law with Alzheimer's was the hardest. The fear comes, as well as frustration, and anger. In the first couple of years, my mother-in-law who had been quite brilliant was aware of he slipping mentality. It is more than loss of memory. I believe the plaque interferes with all sorts of pathways and crosses emotions and rationality. Although she couldn't articulate it, I think she felt very powerless about losing what she held as the core of herself. She was a voracious reader most of her life, so my wife and her sister read to her. Depending on her own personality, visits from kids, puppies, and kittens can be good. The Japanese are getting good results from what you might call the next generation of Furbies; plush robots that respond to touch and voice. Music can bring back portions of the self. My mother-in -law could no longer play the piano or sing by herself, but she became animated when my wife or sister did. She could dredge up old songs and sing along sometimes, it was good. In early stages as you might be describing, conversations may be just the ticket. Time to discuss an afterlife, or Buddhism is now. Later on, complex ideas become slippery. Also Sherapy, take care of yourself. When you are with her, do some things that bring you joy. You need it and she also may benefit. Emotions are perceived long after critical thinking becomes a challenge. She will bask in your happiness as if it were her own. I have found this very beautifully said, tatetopa. I think, well said. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Podo Posted July 22, 2016 #39 Share Posted July 22, 2016 This is rough. Sorry to hear that this is happening, Sheri. I don't really have any advice, since I don't have any beliefs. Best of luck, and I hope your friend finds what she needs. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Only_ Posted July 22, 2016 #40 Share Posted July 22, 2016 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Podo said: This is rough. Sorry to hear that this is happening, Sheri. I don't really have any advice, since I don't have any beliefs. Best of luck, and I hope your friend finds what she needs. We all have beliefs. Edited July 22, 2016 by TruthSeeker_ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Podo Posted July 22, 2016 #41 Share Posted July 22, 2016 1 minute ago, TruthSeeker_ said: We all have beliefs. You can believe that. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted July 22, 2016 #42 Share Posted July 22, 2016 It's kinda true that we all have beliefs. I believe that the inside of a hot pocket will be close to the sun temperature after I've microwaved it. At least it feels that way. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davros of Skaro Posted July 22, 2016 #43 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Everyone have great ideas here. All I can add is this documentary. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted July 23, 2016 Author #44 Share Posted July 23, 2016 8 hours ago, Podo said: This is rough. Sorry to hear that this is happening, Sheri. I don't really have any advice, since I don't have any beliefs. Best of luck, and I hope your friend finds what she needs. Thank you Podo. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted July 23, 2016 Author #45 Share Posted July 23, 2016 5 hours ago, davros of skaro said: Everyone have great ideas here. All I can add is this documentary. Thank you Darv. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davros of Skaro Posted July 23, 2016 #46 Share Posted July 23, 2016 You're welcome Sher. I suggest some sort of video game to keep the brain active. Also consider experimental programs knowing that it's just that ergo experimental. If anything consider documenting this horrible disease. Good luck 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+DieChecker Posted July 23, 2016 #47 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Probably people would expect me to tell you that your friend should turn to Jesus Christ. And they wouldn't be entirely wrong. True belief in Jesus and the promise of an afterlife can be a major comfort to people who are dying. However, if she does not have a base of Christian friends, it probably would do very little practical good in her day to day life. On that though, I'd probably recommend what you said from the therapist, and also the more people who are comforting her the better. Friends and family are a bigger comfort then a promise out of the Sky. I also like Ouija Ouija's idea of hypnotherapy. Peace to you and your friend. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted July 24, 2016 Author #48 Share Posted July 24, 2016 22 hours ago, davros of skaro said: You're welcome Sher. I suggest some sort of video game to keep the brain active. Also consider experimental programs knowing that it's just that ergo experimental. If anything consider documenting this horrible disease. Good luck Good idea, I am. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted July 24, 2016 Author #49 Share Posted July 24, 2016 22 hours ago, DieChecker said: Probably people would expect me to tell you that your friend should turn to Jesus Christ. And they wouldn't be entirely wrong. True belief in Jesus and the promise of an afterlife can be a major comfort to people who are dying. However, if she does not have a base of Christian friends, it probably would do very little practical good in her day to day life. On that though, I'd probably recommend what you said from the therapist, and also the more people who are comforting her the better. Friends and family are a bigger comfort then a promise out of the Sky. I also like Ouija Ouija's idea of hypnotherapy. Peace to you and your friend. Thankyou DC, great post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simplybill Posted July 24, 2016 #50 Share Posted July 24, 2016 Hi Sherapy - First of all: God bless you for being such an awesome caretaker, and thank you for being an inspiration to all of us here. Dr. Mary Newport's book, "Alzheimer's Disease: What if there was a cure?" might be of help: https://www.amazon.com/Alzheimers-Disease-There-Story-Ketones/dp/1591202930/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1469385845&sr=8-3&keywords=Dr.+Mary+Newport From the Amazon page: "Acting on new research showing that medium-chain fatty acids, which act like an alternative fuel in the insulin-deficient Alzheimer's brain, can sometimes reverse or at least stabilize the disease, author Dr. Mary T. Newport has demonstrated through her care for her husband that there is hope, relief, and perhaps a cure." I use MCT Oil almost daily now. It's one of two supplements that I've found to have an immediate, noticeable affect on my mental and physical wellbeing. (The other one is Vitamin B-12.) From the Christian point of view: After reading your post, I found this blog that describes my own approach to biblical wisdom: http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/debbie-mcdaniel/33-verses-to-remind-us--we-do-not-have-to-fear.html You might ask your friend if she would be okay with reading one of those verses each day, and maybe discussing it with you. I've used that "daily reading" approach for many years, and have noticed an "immediate, noticeable affect" in my spiritual wellbeing. simplybill 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now