finkel Posted July 30, 2016 #1 Share Posted July 30, 2016 (edited) This story packs a worldly punch So I’m gonna build the foundation I’m married since yr 2000 - I have 4 children To my own desire I’m faithful yet like many a guy I still like to look at a passing beauty & admire but I’d not dishonor any more then that . But sadly my wife developed a more lax attitude she pounds down the drink and I've found she will indulge in other recreational drugs ,her personality is utter horror wile she is drunk . Abuse is my food from her along with unfaithfulness that at first she kept hidden then it came out clear as day . In the last 6 years situations have occurred with men and one particular guy hanging on tight . So my life has taken on a direction of disparaging thoughts that have a negative daily mind set for me like a tooth ache . I have felt all the emotions one can feel . I became concerned of emotional damage , I try to use logic to stay clear but she is poisonous to my working glandular functions that eventually I notice messes with the mind & body One night about 3 months ago she called me from a bar and said I'm with a girl friend and we cant drive , so I go to pick up them up . As I pull up to the bar I see two woman kissing & sure enough it's my wife and the other chick . I'm not really shaken up by her actions any more . So yeah I take the two back home & they start making out . I feel nervous & think my wife is not faithful and I hold the torch for WHAT ?? So I decided wile I never asked for it nor wanted to drift. Here in my presence is one a guys “ My Bucket List “ Two naked woman I figured my wife is testing me in a twisted way But I've been put to hell for the last 6 yrs and felt like OK ** I'm game So here is the mystery I was kinda nervous with so many thoughts & the damage from mental abuse my body was not responding I'm thinking what the **** this situation comes down the pike NOT to often and my body is responding lack luster . Then the women laid on her back fully nude and waited for me I looked & got lost with her beauty All of a sudden two popping sounds at the base of my lower brain the cerebellum area almost felt as strong as a slap the the head . POP - POP *Snip* ( Sorry to be blunt ) Yes “ My Bucket List “ was completed So what was the POP along with the *Snip* see I'm in my mid 50's so this response was like when I was 18 But I never experienced a POP sound There is a lot here and any view might help me grow cause I am living like I'm emotionally castrated I’m suffering But I know the power is still there . Edited July 30, 2016 by Still Waters Removed adult content Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Habitat Posted July 30, 2016 #2 Share Posted July 30, 2016 That popping sound was the death rattle of your integrity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finkel Posted July 30, 2016 Author #3 Share Posted July 30, 2016 (edited) Not sure of that - but could be the glands of the brain But being noble & being true to your wife even if she has fallen has Integrity as I see once I gave into what was put towards me . A feeling of loss abounds like the saying " can't bet em join em " is a loss of one's personal Integrity I don't think a marriage should get so imbalanced that what's right and wrong become a blur . I have excepted my wife actions , Considered mine & feel no guilt under the circumstances But I do mis the last gasp of purity I had even if it was just me holding the flag. Integrity has value that once compromised is absorbed with logistical consequences with a hope that life returns coefficient Other that that one day sitting in an old age home - Bucket List Edited July 30, 2016 by finkel 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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