sees Posted November 13, 2016 #1 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "Actually I've changed my mind...you're not really selling the job to me!" 5 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted November 13, 2016 #2 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Due to the popularity of it right now.... "You know what? I voted for Trump." Let the flame war begin. 2 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bendy Demon Posted November 13, 2016 #3 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Sometimes these kids that come right out of high school or college think they are being funny, smart or cultured by making it sound like it is the employer is supposed to be selling themselves and not the other way around. Another symptom of the "special snowflake" syndrome that has gripped the newer generation these days. With attitudes like that there is no wonder these educated infants are stuck working at burger joints or seasonal jobs. 4 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toast Posted November 13, 2016 #4 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "Tea or coffee?" "A beer please. And an ashtray." 9 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted November 13, 2016 #5 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Sorry I`m late, big queue in Greggs-...........................then proceed to eat sandwich. 5 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 13, 2016 Author #6 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Er...can I stop you there? I am losing the will to live here..... 6 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted November 13, 2016 #7 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Fart, then laugh. 4 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farmer77 Posted November 13, 2016 #8 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Fart silently and then ask " hey do you smell BBQ'? 3 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted November 13, 2016 #9 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Fart silently then ask the interviewer "did you just fart?" 3 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblykiss Posted November 13, 2016 #10 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "............why, yes, of course I am a nudist. Is that not going to work with this Retirement home's core philosophy?" 3 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblykiss Posted November 13, 2016 #11 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "Where do I see myself in 5 years? As the high priest of the Local Xipe Totec Society and wearing your glistening skin as the masses howl in glorious agony." 3 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblykiss Posted November 13, 2016 #12 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "Oh the 11 year gap in my work history? Don't worry about that. Just don't contact the Honorable Judge Herrera Gonzales Sr. of the Human Rights Commission in Honduras. That guy is a real ass." 5 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Serenity Posted November 13, 2016 #13 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "I has a poopy." It was the first thing that popped into my head. lol 3 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblykiss Posted November 13, 2016 #14 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "Yes, Steven is my Slave Name, but I go ChampleThunderMittensGoFasterFlowerTongue, Sprite Prince of the Lower Mjii'ligenntri Mountain by The Goblin Lord's Lair of Hazard Skald Blue, my full Title is Gnenter Lip Blaster of Rummy Waters Duke of Brownie Mages and Gnomish Sorceresses whose Long Knives Steal Away Mercury and Milk The Fat Kitten Ishkabana'homganee...........etc, etc,etc....." 2 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblykiss Posted November 13, 2016 #15 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "You have nice lungs. Ever been to Kooloon City?" 2 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 13, 2016 Author #16 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Er....sorry, I didn't hear any of that because - well, you DO have lovely eyes. Shall we skip this crap and go for a drink? 2 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblykiss Posted November 13, 2016 #17 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "....please hold. I am receiving messages on my Airloom built out of insect antenna glued together with Lobster Dreams....something about the moon and tidal forces at play on Europa, the Jovian moon...." 1 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblykiss Posted November 13, 2016 #18 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "I have developed a horrific itch and I am going to require you to scratch every part of my body until you locate and extinguish it." 1 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galactic Goatman Posted November 13, 2016 #19 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "Before you hire me, I shall have you know that I tend to raid the lounge fridge for snacks." 2 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 13, 2016 Author #20 Share Posted November 13, 2016 "yeah, yeah, ....that's all very well but give me the goss....who is making out with who here?" 1 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.Nomenon Posted November 14, 2016 #21 Share Posted November 14, 2016 (edited) Edited November 14, 2016 by P.Nomenon 3 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EllJay Posted November 14, 2016 #22 Share Posted November 14, 2016 (edited) ISIS aren't such a bad guys once you learn to know them! Paedophiles are sooo misunderstood, don't you think? I'm a sleepyhead, and I have Tourettes Syndrom, so those days when I come in to work at around 11.30 and tell you to f*u*c*k off, you know the reason. Your wife look so hot - you're not swingers, are you? . Edited November 14, 2016 by EllJay 2 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 14, 2016 Author #23 Share Posted November 14, 2016 (edited) 23 minutes ago, EllJay said: ISIS aren't such a bad guys once you learn to know them! Paedophiles are sooo misunderstood, don't you think? I'm a sleepyhead, and I have Tourettes Syndrom, so those days when I come in to work at around 11.30 and tell you to f*u*c*k off, you know the reason. Your wife look so hot - you're not swingers, are you? Ah you beat me to it! I was gonna post "Don't pay any attention to my tourettes. When you hire me you will see that I can tone it down. I have been practising saying 'Do you want DAMN fries with that?' . Edited November 14, 2016 by sees 1 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seaturtlehorsesnake Posted November 16, 2016 #24 Share Posted November 16, 2016 "i don't really want this job, i'm just using this interview to get my parents off of my back about looking for work" 2 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 16, 2016 Author #25 Share Posted November 16, 2016 So....this is the part I'm supposed to say yes, all my life has been building up to wanting to be a cleaner? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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