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What not to say at a job interview!!


sees

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"Actually I've changed my mind...you're not really selling the job to me!"  558648.gif     671114.gif

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Sometimes these kids that come right out of high school or college think they are being funny, smart or cultured by making it sound like it is the employer is supposed to be selling themselves and not the other way around.

Another symptom of the "special snowflake" syndrome that has gripped the newer generation these days.

With attitudes like that there is no wonder these educated infants are stuck working at burger joints or seasonal jobs.

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"Tea or coffee?"

"A beer please. And an ashtray."

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Sorry I`m late,  big queue in Greggs-...........................then proceed to eat sandwich.

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Er...can I stop you there?  I am losing the will to live here.....  icon_rolleyes.gif

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Fart, then laugh.

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Fart silently and then ask " hey do you smell BBQ'?

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Fart silently then ask the interviewer "did you just fart?"

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"............why, yes, of course I am a nudist. Is that not going to work with this Retirement home's core philosophy?"

 

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"Where do I see myself in 5 years? As the high priest of the Local Xipe Totec Society and wearing your glistening skin as the masses howl in glorious agony."

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"Oh the 11 year gap in my work history? Don't worry about that. Just don't contact the Honorable Judge Herrera Gonzales Sr. of the Human Rights Commission in Honduras. That guy is a real ass."

 

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"I has a poopy." 

It was the first thing that popped into my head. lol

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"Yes, Steven is my Slave Name, but I go ChampleThunderMittensGoFasterFlowerTongue, Sprite Prince of the Lower Mjii'ligenntri Mountain by The Goblin Lord's Lair of Hazard Skald Blue, my full Title is Gnenter Lip Blaster of Rummy Waters Duke of Brownie Mages and Gnomish Sorceresses whose Long Knives Steal Away Mercury and Milk The Fat Kitten Ishkabana'homganee...........etc, etc,etc....."

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Er....sorry, I didn't hear any of that because - well, you DO have lovely eyes.  Shall we skip this crap and go for a drink?

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"....please hold. I am receiving messages on my Airloom built out of insect antenna glued together with Lobster Dreams....something about the moon and tidal forces at play on Europa, the Jovian moon...."

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"I have developed a horrific itch and I am going to require you to scratch every part of my body until you locate and extinguish it."

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"Before you hire me, I shall have you know that I tend to raid the lounge fridge for snacks."

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"yeah, yeah, ....that's all very well but give me the goss....who is making out with who here?"  blush.gif

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tumblr_mefgac6XpQ1rle4mno1_500.jpg

tumblr_mefgac6XpQ1rle4mno1_500.jpg

Edited by P.Nomenon
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  • ISIS aren't such a bad guys once you learn to know them!
  • Paedophiles are sooo misunderstood, don't you think?
  • I'm a sleepyhead, and I have Tourettes Syndrom, so those days when I come in to work at around 11.30 and tell you to f*u*c*k off, you know the reason.
  • Your wife look so hot - you're not swingers, are you?

 

.

Edited by EllJay
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23 minutes ago, EllJay said:
  • ISIS aren't such a bad guys once you learn to know them!
  • Paedophiles are sooo misunderstood, don't you think?
  • I'm a sleepyhead, and I have Tourettes Syndrom, so those days when I come in to work at around 11.30 and tell you to f*u*c*k off, you know the reason.
  • Your wife look so hot - you're not swingers, are you?

 

Ah you beat me to it!  I was gonna post "Don't pay any attention to my tourettes.  When you hire me you will see that I can tone it down.  I have been practising saying 'Do you want DAMN fries with that?'

.

Edited by sees
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"i don't really want this job, i'm just using this interview to get my parents off of my back about looking for work"

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So....this is the part I'm supposed to say yes, all my life has been building up to wanting to be a cleaner?  rolleyespink.gif

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