Katniss Posted November 18, 2016 #26 Share Posted November 18, 2016 No I've never been convicted of a felon, but I have killed people. 2 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 18, 2016 Author #27 Share Posted November 18, 2016 I dislike being told what to do by those younger than me...will that be a problem? 2 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DingoLingo Posted November 18, 2016 #28 Share Posted November 18, 2016 My what big breasts you have 2 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted November 18, 2016 #29 Share Posted November 18, 2016 5 minutes ago, DingoLingo said: My what big breasts you have Yeah, not good, especially if the interviewer is male. 4 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 18, 2016 Author #30 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Work starts at 9 a.m. 'sharp'? Hey man, that's PRESSURE! So long as I turn up sometime in the morning, I've made the effort, right? 3 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted November 18, 2016 #31 Share Posted November 18, 2016 (edited) Answering your mobile phone then saying to the interviewer: "would you mind leaving for a minute, this is private" Edited November 18, 2016 by freetoroam 4 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 18, 2016 #32 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Equal opportunities is where we all bite our tongues and pretend to respect one another innit, chief! 3 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenith Posted November 19, 2016 #33 Share Posted November 19, 2016 My invisible friend wants to know if he can get a job too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 19, 2016 Author #34 Share Posted November 19, 2016 You don't have to do that fake smile after you just say something unpalatable...I can see through you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katniss Posted November 19, 2016 #35 Share Posted November 19, 2016 (edited) -I walk in briskly, I slam my fist on their desk- I want this [expletive] job! Give me this [expletive] job! Edited November 19, 2016 by Nick Rock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlitterRose Posted November 19, 2016 #36 Share Posted November 19, 2016 On 11/14/2016 at 1:00 AM, EllJay said: ISIS aren't such a bad guys once you learn to know them! Paedophiles are sooo misunderstood, don't you think? I'm a sleepyhead, and I have Tourettes Syndrom, so those days when I come in to work at around 11.30 and tell you to f*u*c*k off, you know the reason. Your wife look so hot - you're not swingers, are you? . That sleepyhead one was classic. 1 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlitterRose Posted November 19, 2016 #37 Share Posted November 19, 2016 Have you heard about Scientology? *produces Dianetics* 2 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katniss Posted November 22, 2016 #38 Share Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) Illegal?. No I'm not illegal. Just a alien curious about your species on this planet. Now please help hold this anal probe until I finish sterilizing it. Edited November 22, 2016 by Nick Rock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 22, 2016 Author #39 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Yes I have an interest in fashion - as you can see - in fact....(suppresses smirk) that tie with THAT coloured shirt! What were you thinking??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back to earth Posted November 22, 2016 #40 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Real one ; I didnt want the job but had to go for the interview, I worked there (hospital) part time and a full time job came up ; 3 of them, of course; old gnarly looking matron type ( that I had already had a run in with ) and a younger guy and woman . A little triumvurate lined up behind the desk. "Sorry, who are you all again ? " Young woman explains their senior management positions to me "Oh ! How wonderful ! Where I used to work, management was so old and stuffy ! Its great to see such young and fresh people on the job ! ' = 2 nice smiles and one look that would melt bone . I didnt get the job - damn ! I had to keep the old one ( a few times a week I would get a call, drive to town, pick up the work car and drive a patient 60km to base hospital or specialist ..... do my shopping, get some lunch, look at the ocean, feed the seagulls ( no swimming though, I had to have a pager on me at all times) , pick them up drive back - $80 a pop ! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back to earth Posted November 22, 2016 #41 Share Posted November 22, 2016 No one quoted the 'Fat Freddy' classic ? " No, I dont have a problem with alcohol, I can drink about 15 beers before I barf ! " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
back to earth Posted November 22, 2016 #42 Share Posted November 22, 2016 If you DO want the job , here is a helpful answer to the trick question they will slip it in amongst asking how great you think you are , what your best assets are, what you bring ...... then .... what would you say your biggest weakness is ? (You are gonna have to say something, they won;t accept that you have no weakness , failing or shortcoming somewhere ) Think a bit, in fake contemplation, and then ...... " Chocolate . " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 22, 2016 Author #43 Share Posted November 22, 2016 3 minutes ago, back to earth said: If you DO want the job , here is a helpful answer to the trick question they will slip it in amongst asking how great you think you are , what your best assets are, what you bring ...... then .... what would you say your biggest weakness is ? (You are gonna have to say something, they won;t accept that you have no weakness , failing or shortcoming somewhere ) Think a bit, in fake contemplation, and then ...... " Chocolate . " Ha! I showed this thread to a friend and he came up with this... Interviewer: So what would you say is your biggest weakness? Candidate: Honesty! Interviewer: I don't think honesty is a weakness. Candidate: I don't give a duck what you think! 1 Top Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 22, 2016 Author #44 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Here's one I wish I had the guts to say.... Before we start...can we cut to the chase? What is the salary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EllJay Posted November 22, 2016 #45 Share Posted November 22, 2016 (edited) "- Do you have a drinking problem??" "- No!! I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!" - Edited November 22, 2016 by EllJay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katniss Posted November 25, 2016 #46 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Yes my last job was with the Mafia. I really enjoyed that job. Got to bust lots of heads. But don't worry. I feel much better now and I'm on parole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vorg Posted November 25, 2016 #47 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Why are asking me so many questions?? When do I get the job?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 25, 2016 Author #48 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Can we speed things up here? I don't want to miss my favourite programme! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted November 25, 2016 #49 Share Posted November 25, 2016 I`m only here so that the Job centre doesn't stop my giro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sees Posted November 25, 2016 Author #50 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Do I have any questions? Well, I can't help noticing how world weary you look - have you thought of inviting Jesus into your life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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