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What not to say at a job interview!!


sees

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I dislike being told what to do by those younger than me...will that be a problem?

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My what big breasts you have

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5 minutes ago, DingoLingo said:

My what big breasts you have

Yeah, not good, especially if the interviewer is male.

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Work starts at 9 a.m. 'sharp'?  558648.gif   Hey man, that's PRESSURE!  So long as I turn up sometime in the morning, I've made the effort, right?

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Answering your mobile phone then saying to the interviewer:

 

"would you mind leaving for a minute, this is private"

Edited by freetoroam
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Equal opportunities is where we all bite our tongues and pretend to respect one another innit, chief!

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You don't have to do that fake smile after you just say something unpalatable...I can see through you!

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-I walk in briskly, I slam my fist on their desk-  

I want this [expletive]  job! Give me this  [expletive]  job!

 

Edited by Nick Rock
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On 11/14/2016 at 1:00 AM, EllJay said:
  • ISIS aren't such a bad guys once you learn to know them!
  • Paedophiles are sooo misunderstood, don't you think?
  • I'm a sleepyhead, and I have Tourettes Syndrom, so those days when I come in to work at around 11.30 and tell you to f*u*c*k off, you know the reason.
  • Your wife look so hot - you're not swingers, are you?

 

.

That sleepyhead one was classic. 

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Have you heard about Scientology? *produces Dianetics*

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Illegal?. No I'm not illegal. Just a alien curious about your species on this planet. Now please help hold this anal probe until I finish sterilizing it.


 

Edited by Nick Rock
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Yes I have an interest in fashion - as you can see - in fact....(suppresses smirk) that tie with THAT coloured shirt!  What were you thinking???

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Real one ;   I didnt want the job but had to go for the interview, I worked there (hospital) part time and a full time job came up ;    3 of them, of course; old gnarly looking matron type ( that I had already had a run in with ) and a younger guy and woman .  A little triumvurate  lined up behind the desk.

"Sorry, who are you all again ? "

Young woman explains their senior management positions  to me 

"Oh !  How wonderful !  Where I used to work, management was so old and stuffy ! Its great to see such young  and fresh people on the job ! '

=  2 nice smiles and one look that would  melt bone .   

I didnt get the job  - damn !    I had to keep the old one   ( a few times a week I would get a call, drive to town, pick up the work car and drive a patient 60km to base hospital or specialist .....  do my shopping, get some lunch, look at the ocean, feed the seagulls ( no swimming though, I had to have  a pager on me at all times) , pick them up drive back - $80 a pop !  )

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No one quoted the 'Fat Freddy' classic  ?

 

" No, I dont have a problem with alcohol, I can drink about 15 beers before I barf ! " 

 

Image result for fat freddy freak brothers

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If you DO want the job , here is a helpful answer to the trick question

 

 they will slip it in amongst asking how great you think you are , what your best assets are, what you bring ......    then ....   what  would you say your biggest weakness is ? (You are gonna have to say something, they won;t accept that you have no weakness , failing or shortcoming  somewhere  ) 

Think a bit, in fake contemplation,  and then ......   " Chocolate . "  

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3 minutes ago, back to earth said:

If you DO want the job , here is a helpful answer to the trick question

 

 they will slip it in amongst asking how great you think you are , what your best assets are, what you bring ......    then ....   what  would you say your biggest weakness is ? (You are gonna have to say something, they won;t accept that you have no weakness , failing or shortcoming  somewhere  ) 

Think a bit, in fake contemplation,  and then ......   " Chocolate . "  

Ha!   I showed this thread to a friend and he came up with this...

Interviewer: So what would you say is your biggest weakness?
Candidate: Honesty!
Interviewer: I don't think honesty is a weakness.
Candidate: I don't give a duck what you think!
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Here's one I wish I had the guts to say....

Before we start...can we cut to the chase?  What is the salary?

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"- Do you have a drinking problem??"

"- No!! I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!"

 

-

Edited by EllJay
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Yes my last job was with the Mafia. I really enjoyed that job. Got to bust lots of heads. But don't worry. I feel much better now and I'm on parole.
 

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Can we speed things up here?  I don't want to miss my favourite programme!

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Do I have any questions?  Well, I can't help noticing how world weary you look - have you thought of inviting Jesus into your life! icon_eek.gif  help.gif

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