What not to say at a job interview!!

[little_dreamer]

I couldn't find a bathroom, so I had to ....

[Zenith]

Really, all I want to talk about is Jesus.

[Mark One]

*pointing a shot gun*

Ah want thah job youth or your gunna ged it!

[Katniss]

*busts through door on a moped - hits Interviewer's desk - then gets off moped and quietly sits down*

Ummmmyeah sorry about that. I thought I was going to be late.

 

[sees]

Before shaking hands, sprays his hand with an anti-bacteria aerosol..."sorry, you can never be too careful!"

Edited November 27, 2016 by sees

[back to earth]

Before we start .... I need go poo-poo .     Oh !   Wait .......       < strain ....  grimace > ......   doesnt matter ... go on , what were you saying ?

[Katniss]

Why no. I don't see why having narcolepsy wou.......ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...impede me fro......ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.....doing this jo......ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

 

Edited November 29, 2016 by Nick Rock

[back to earth]

My pockets hurt      . 

[sees]

Here we go again....I am getting really fed up of being REJECTED from jobs.

ANYONE WOULD THINK I HAD A PROBLEM WITH ANGER!!! 

[Mark One]

It took me two trains, 4 buses and one taxi just to arrive here.

[sees]

Ha...that's a good one!  You almost had me believing that job description was real....seriously - SERIOUSLY???   

[Mark One]

This coffee which you've given me tastes like *****, me mucker!

[sees]

OK so now the interview is over I need to know if I've got the job....no pressure but TELL ME NOW!!!

[acute]

"Not many people can pull off the 'greasy hair' look.

So..... When do I start?"

Edited December 17, 2016 by acute

[rashore]

"I gotta have off every other Wed, the second Tuesday of the month, first Thursday of the month, and every other Friday that isn't in a week I have Wed off. I have to keep up on my appointments otherwise I'll lose my spots at the spa and beauty salon."

"Ok, so, I need an hour lunch instead of half hour because I do my meditations at noon and really need time to wind down from work and get ready to get back to work and still have time to get in a good thirty minute zen, you know?"

 

 

[sees]

I hope you don't mind that I'm wearing my usual casual clothes!  Why be fake right?  Suits are sooo boring!

[MWoo7]

I must say I'm not fond of eating garbage and I've never picked up the aptitude/knack of kissing very well, just one of those things. Oh favors and hints I've never delt with that, ever, but as long as you've a company full of Team Players without their heads in the sand so to speak I can naturally see a glimmer of progress for this company, well of course if the directors and managers are flexible you know in taking direction and constructive criticism. You know they've said that a wise king surrounds himself with even wiser council Mr. Steel.  Just two bits to let you ponder now I really must be getting to my hair appointment, good day.

[sees]

Oh coffee?  I do hope it's organic and that the water is filtered.  I couldn't possibly work here otherwise!

[+Noteverythingisaconspiracy]

"I actually have a job right now, but I expect to lose it just as soon as they find out what I did"

Edited December 19, 2016 by Noteverythingisaconspiracy

[Katniss]

No you say? But I thought being an arsonist would qualify me for fighting fires. I deal with fire all the time. How can I not qualify?
 

[Mark One]

Hold on a minute Mr Diggles.  Ive not been given the job yet and your asking me personal/private questions like that!  Carry on mate and things will get heated.

[Farmer77]

Hey do you have any visine? 

[Katniss]

No? *hiccup* But I qualify for drunk being me thought would bar tending for this job.

*passes out hits floor*

 

Edited January 29, 2017 by Nick Rock