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LightAngel

Are You A Good Listener?

92 posts in this topic

 Are you?!

Or, are you just thinking about what you want to say instead of actually listening to the person talking to you?

Just a little question from me.....

 

 

 

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I'm definitely not. Too focused on myself.

But if I find someone interesting, that changes, but I don't care about feelings, just about logic. Person has to earn my trust, then I listen to feelings too.

Edited by Mr. Argon

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Not anywhere near as good as I would like to be.

On occasions, I have a tendency to concentrate on whatever is on my mind and only notice breaks in the conversation. Then I quickly replay what I had just heard in the background and try to formulate an answer.

That said if the subject of the conversation and my concentration converge then I am a good listener.

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8 minutes ago, Mr. Argon said:

I'm definitely not. Too focused on myself.

But if I find someone interesting, that changes, but I don't care about feelings, just about logic.

 

Hmmm... that sounded very unlogic because we are humans ( not robots ) so of course we have feelings. - and they will affect you whether you like it or not!

You also say that you focus too much on yourself?! - but hey, if that is true then why are your feelings in "denial"?

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I just don't care about someones feelings until that person earns my trust. I would help a person in pain, but I don't like to symphatise emotionally with people I don't know. I am very suspicious towards people.

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It depends on the situation, if it is a serious matter or hobby i like i listen, if its not serious and about the weather and just something i dont care etc for i just blank it out.

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3 minutes ago, RAyMO said:

Not anywhere near as good as I would like to be.

On occasions, I have a tendency to concentrate on whatever is on my mind and only notice breaks in the conversation. Then I quickly replay what I had just heard in the background and try to formulate an answer.

That said if the subject of the conversation and my concentration converge then I am a good listener.

 

I think we all act this way sometimes, that's why I posted this topic because I think we all can be better listeners.

I always saw myself as a good listener, but I want to be even better!

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The very first psychology paper I completed was in communication. I have learnt to listen to understand and read with perspective. It is like adding a whole new dimension to communicating. 

It's amazing what you can learn about someone without them telling you.

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2 minutes ago, Mr. Argon said:

I just don't care about someones feelings until that person earns my trust. I would help a person in pain, but I don't like to symphatise emotionally with people I don't know. I am very suspicious towards people.

 

I understand, just be careful that your "suspiciousness" doesn't make you paranoid.

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Just now, LightAngel said:

I understand, just be careful that your "suspiciousness" doesn't make you paranoid.

Happened already.

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2 minutes ago, Kismit said:

The very first psychology paper I completed was in communication. I have learnt to listen to understand and read with perspective. It is like adding a whole new dimension to communicating. 

It's amazing what you can learn about someone without them telling you.

 

Agreed!

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2 minutes ago, Mr. Argon said:

Happened already.

 

Yup, I know.... will you do something to change this, or will you just live this way?! 

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It's fun.. I think I like it, so i'll stay. Usually my predictions about other people prove themselves to be accurate. No need to change my attitude. There are a few exceptions here and there though, so I guess I have to hone my paranoia.

Edited by Mr. Argon

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4 minutes ago, Mr. Argon said:

It's fun.. I think I like it, so i'll stay.

 

So, you like your social mask? - Don't be afraid to be a little more authentic.

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Yeah. We all wear masks. Think of Jung's concept of Persona.I think I am not afraid, only that I lack authenicity by nature.

Edited by Mr. Argon

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2 minutes ago, Mr. Argon said:

We all wear masks. 

 

Yup, but if we never remove the mask then we will always be in conflict with our true self, I guess it's again all about balance.

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The greatest mystery to us is our own Self.

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8 minutes ago, Mr. Argon said:

The greatest mystery to us is our own Self.

 

If you can accept your own vulnerability then you have taken the first step on your journey.

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I am well aware of my vulnerability, and I fully accept it. Don't know about the journey, though. Life is not simple. Doing the best I can. To be completely honest i view myself as one big vulnerability.

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37 minutes ago, Kismit said:

It's amazing what you can learn about someone without them telling you.

Agreed - You can learn a lot from what is not said.

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There is one thing I notice about you which I think is very pronounced. You like to give suggestions. Do you know the root of such a need?

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6 minutes ago, Mr. Argon said:

I am well aware of my vulnerability, and I fully accept it. Don't know about the journey, though. Life is not simple. Doing the best I can. To be completely honest i view myself as one big vulnerability.

 

I do believe I should be a better listener :lol:

On a serious note.... good answer :tu:

 

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3 minutes ago, Mr. Argon said:

There is one thing I notice about you which I think is very pronounced. You like to give suggestions. Do you know the root of such a need?

Oh, that's just my empathy.

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Just now, LightAngel said:

Oh, that's just my empathy.

Fair enough. I don't like to give suggestions.

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Just now, Mr. Argon said:

Fair enough. I don't like to give suggestions.

 

We are all different and I think that can be a great gift for us. However, you do share your thoughts.... so you do give suggestion (between the lines).

 

 

 

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