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OverSword

Girl Scouts "don't make your daughters hug"

36 posts in this topic

16 minutes ago, OverSword said:

Rashore and Chaos Rose, you guys certainly didn't grow up in my family.  I can not even a bit identify with your examples. The only thing I was ever forced to do was go to school and eat my vegetables. For your parents maybe this would have been good advice.

I wasn't forced either- we are a very huggy family, the option to hug or not was left up to us. I had to go to school, but was never made to eat my veggies or other food if I didn't like it. But I am aware that the scenarios I gave do happen in other families.

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8 minutes ago, rashore said:

I wasn't forced either- we are a very huggy family, the option to hug or not was left up to us. I had to go to school, but was never made to eat my veggies or other food if I didn't like it. But I am aware that the scenarios I gave do happen in other families.

I say "Gimme a hug" to my nieces pretty much every time I see them.  The older one always does and the little one sometimes won't, at which point I stick my tongue out at her, problem solved.

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LINK
“Just be warned, he likes to hug the pretty girls,” she said she was told. “He might try to kiss you on the mouth.”


For more than 20 years, young women at Pixar Animation Studios have been warned about the behavior of John Lasseter, who just disclosed that he is taking a leave due to inappropriate conduct with women. The company’s co-founder is known as a hugger. Around Pixar’s Emeryville, Calif., offices, a hug from Lasseter is seen as a mark of approval.


But among female employees, there has long been widespread discomfort about Lasseter’s hugs and about the other ways he showers attention on young women. On Tuesday, that history caught up with him, as Lasseter became the latest prominent person to be accused of inappropriate behavior.
 

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It's ok cause the Boy Scouts accept girls now... no hugging will happen there.

 

 

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2 hours ago, joc said:

LINK
“Just be warned, he likes to hug the pretty girls,” she said she was told. “He might try to kiss you on the mouth.”


For more than 20 years, young women at Pixar Animation Studios have been warned about the behavior of John Lasseter, who just disclosed that he is taking a leave due to inappropriate conduct with women. The company’s co-founder is known as a hugger. Around Pixar’s Emeryville, Calif., offices, a hug from Lasseter is seen as a mark of approval.


But among female employees, there has long been widespread discomfort about Lasseter’s hugs and about the other ways he showers attention on young women. On Tuesday, that history caught up with him, as Lasseter became the latest prominent person to be accused of inappropriate behavior.
 

See this is totally different IMO.  He was an  executive with his subordinates.  It was not family or close friends.  I have hugged my associate because she was having a breakdown due to her personal life.  I would never otherwise step over that line but she needed a mom at that time and she doesn't have one. 

Edited by glorybebe
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12 hours ago, OverSword said:

Rashore and Chaos Rose, you guys certainly didn't grow up in my family.  I can not even a bit identify with your examples. The only thing I was ever forced to do was go to school and eat my vegetables. For your parents maybe this would have been good advice.

I'm not saying there is always a situation like this, but there are more than people realize. 

Gauge how children react to particular people. Sometimes they're trying to tell you things they don't have the words for yet. 

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On 11/21/2017 at 6:37 AM, OverSword said:

BTW, was typing this before ouijas reply.

Here ...
 

Quote

 

~

Online free typing lessons for Qwerty -US standard keyboard

Home row keys of a Qwerty keyboard - are keys above which your hands are positioned. On Qwerty keyboard home row keys for the left hand are: ASDF with left hand forefinger positioned on F and right hand home row keys are: JKL; with right hand forefinger being positioned on J.

~

 

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:D

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Oh ... I kid ...

Mostly my problem is with the toddlers ... they climb all over me ... hugging isn't all that big a thing here in Malaysia, if you are, fine, if not, no big deal ...

most kids are taught to respect their elders without the need of the physical expression ...

~

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10 hours ago, glorybebe said:

See this is totally different IMO.  He was an  executive with his subordinates.  It was not family or close friends.  I have hugged my associate because she was having a breakdown due to her personal life.  I would never otherwise step over that line but she needed a mom at that time and she doesn't have one. 

The point of posting it was to show that not everyone who is a hugger can be trusted...that's all. 

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5 hours ago, joc said:

The point of posting it was to show that not everyone who is a hugger can be trusted...that's all. 

But, again, he is not family, so no, it is not appropriate.  Not all family can be trusted, believe me, I know.  But children need hugs and to learn that affection is ok.  We have another thread talking about mental health in  children and this thread saying to be careful of having children hug relatives.  How about a happy medium.  Let the children know they are loved and have them secure in that love.  Children are way more intuitive than adults and can tell who they want to hug and who they don't.  Let them have that freedom and you will see happier more confident children.  This familial contact.  Work contact is totally different and there should always be lines draen there.  That is comparing apples and oranges.

Edited by glorybebe
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There's a lot about child rearing that involves forcing.  Right from the beginning children are contained and restrained.  At certain ages certain behaviors are required and expected.  If compliance is not voluntary then coercion is employed.  "You will hold my hand"  "Go to bed"  "You can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat" and on and on.  We force them to go to school.  We force them to wear a seatbelt.  Part of that is directed toward socialization.  We like to see "plays well with others" on their report card.  So we teach them how to act in a variety of situations.  We encourage (force) them to perform actions appropriate to the setting and the people involved.  Be quiet in church.  Stand for the judge.  Yes, even hug Auntie Em.  These actions are not subservient or sexual, but merely the motions required of civilized people.  A common physical language.  Hugging relatives we don't like when we're six prepares us to shake hands with people we don't like as adults.  Better that the motions and parameters be learned in a group of observant adults than with Uncle Ernie alone.

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7 hours ago, Big Jim said:

There's a lot about child rearing that involves forcing.  Right from the beginning children are contained and restrained.  At certain ages certain behaviors are required and expected.

Close physical contact shouldn't be one of them. There are sometimes good reasons children are repelled by different people. Hugging people when you are a vulnerable child is a lot different than shaking someone's hand as an adult.

If you want to teach them something, teach them how not to shake hands like a limp fish and to look them in the eye.

Edited by Michelle
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