Relationship Advice

[ryanltzw]

Hey guys, I know this may not be the best place to post a thread on this topic but I thought I'd try my luck in getting some advice since I've been following this Forum for awhile.

Long story short, my relationship of 3 years recently ended because she broke up with me. We were engaged and planned to get married March next year with all the necessary arrangements already settled (hotel, honeymoon, videographer, photographer, etc all deposited for). Just before the breakup, she had gone overseas with her family for a holiday and right after coming back, had started to act differently. She had started to distance herself and was coming up with excuses not to meet me. About 2 weeks later she suddenly says that 'we need to talk' and drops the bomb on me, claiming that she doesn't love me anymore and that the wedding is called off. I tried to convince her to reconsider and that it was just her nerves, but eventually, the fact that I'm creating such a thread means it didn't work.

I've been a wreck since then and I don't know what I should do. Does anyone out there have any advice to either move on or get her back? Just to clarify, her family loved me too and were really upset that she decided to call off the wedding so last minute and out of the blue.

Edited December 1, 2017 by ryanltzw

[HandsomeGorilla]

Move on, it's rarely worth trying to pursue someone who acts in such a way. I speak from experience on this one. She was out of sight for a short period of time but that was enough for her to lose interest. That should tell you all you need to know that she's not exactly marriage material.

[XenoFish]

She's moved on and so should you. 

[ExpandMyMind]

She likely met someone on holiday and this led her to realise that she's not ready for marriage and that your relationship was not as strong as she had previously thought.

You need to move on, mate, because there's likely no way to win her back. Sometimes you just have to recognise a lost cause. 

Good luck with moving past her. 

[HandsomeGorilla]

Yea, there was most likely someone else involved. Time to cut your losses. Sorry, that's just the way it is, sometimes. I know it's the last thing anyone wants to hear, but oh well. Soon enough, you'll start remembering red flags that you both should have acted on but chose to overlook at the time. Learn from it. 

[tcgram]

The best advice I can think of is to move on.  Take things day by day.   Concentrate on keeping yourself busy.   If you find that you are having trouble adjusting, I suggest going for some counseling as the loss of a relationship does cause one to grieve.  Good luck and let us know if we can be of any help.   

[jmccr8]

Yeah move on the only other options is to self deflate cry in your beer and write lonely heartbreak county songs.especailly if someone stole yer cows, wrecked yer truck and yer dog died

jmccr8

Edited December 3, 2017 by jmccr8
amended for clarity

[ryanltzw]

Thanks for the advice guys. I kind of felt you were all right about her meeting someone new. So I confronted her. She assured me that, that wasn't the case. She just had her doubts for a while now but she never felt comfortable sharing them with me. She had a lot of issues in the relationship, and I feel I could have avoided most of them myself.

But I think I might have to let her go. I really don't want to because I love this girl and want to make this work. I searched Google and found an article that gave me hope.

https://getyourexbackpermanently.com/win-your-ex-girlfriend-back/

What do you guys think of this? Should I try something like this? Or am I just fooling myself into thinking this could work. Keep in mind, that I was heavily invested in her and if there is a chance I can fix this, I would take this.

[MrBene]

You're fooling yourself. Those websites are just tricks. If she says no, take it as a man and understand what she means. Look, even if you get back together things aren't never going to be the same, forced things never work. Move on, you'll meet someone eventually. You know, I was in your place 2 years ago, I was depressed, I lost any enthusiasm for my music, my career and pretty much everything. But time passed, I went to therapy, I spoke with people and suddenly I forgot about her and her issues and I started to care about myself. Everything was about myself. I became the best-me I could think of. Now I'm pretty satisfied with things going on. I'm dating girls, having fun with friends and I can't even believe that I worried so much because someone broke up with me. Trust me, better things are waiting for you.

[Duke Wellington]

On ‎01‎/‎12‎/‎2017 at 0:04 PM, ryanltzw said:

Hey guys, I know this may not be the best place to post a thread on this topic but I thought I'd try my luck in getting some advice since I've been following this Forum for awhile.

Long story short, my relationship of 3 years recently ended because she broke up with me. We were engaged and planned to get married March next year with all the necessary arrangements already settled (hotel, honeymoon, videographer, photographer, etc all deposited for). Just before the breakup, she had gone overseas with her family for a holiday and right after coming back, had started to act differently. She had started to distance herself and was coming up with excuses not to meet me. About 2 weeks later she suddenly says that 'we need to talk' and drops the bomb on me, claiming that she doesn't love me anymore and that the wedding is called off. I tried to convince her to reconsider and that it was just her nerves, but eventually, the fact that I'm creating such a thread means it didn't work.

I've been a wreck since then and I don't know what I should do. Does anyone out there have any advice to either move on or get her back? Just to clarify, her family loved me too and were really upset that she decided to call off the wedding so last minute and out of the blue.

It was better for her to get out before getting married than for you both to have a divorce a few years down the line.

Take a month out, then pick yourself up, and find someone new.

[Sooth Sayer]

Hey sorry bout that, it can't be a good feeling. 

I'd like to offer my advice but since I'm old school what I say probably would offend lots of people. It would probably help you in the future but um, anywhoz. 

Hope you're getting past such a difficult moment in your life.