God's Will or Bad Karma?

[IV XV LXXXVIII]

Hey ya'll. I'm brand new to the forum and need guidance on dealing with why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good things happen to bad people? Life has dealt me a ****ty card ever since I was a child and while I work my ass off, nothing ever seems to bear fruit. On the other hand, I watch my friends or other people who for some reason seem to get everything they want not due to hard work, but because of the good timing and having the right people vouch for them. Let me go into more details here:

My life in a nutshell:

1. My mother died when I was in junior high. I was stuck living with my father after. He was a raging alcoholic who sometimes beat me and chased me out of the house. He eventually died a few years ago, a few years after I graduated from college. Technically you could call me an orphan...at the tender old age of 25.

2. I never been in a loving, genuine, long lasting relationship with anyone. I've dated two people my whole life because I fell head over heals in love with them. They were only using me as a rebound and then heartlessly dumped me because they were interested in someone else. I never cheated on them or created a climate of jealousy or infidelity because I genuinely cared for them. It has been 3 years since my heart was last broken. I haven't kissed anyone, dated anyone, or been sexually involved with anyone since. I am open to starting a new relationship, but I haven't found anyone I'm interested in.

3. Work has been a struggle. When it comes to promotions, advancement in job positions, work opportunities overseas, my timing never seems to work out. For example, my friend took a high level management position last year with no competition. She was the only one interested and got the job. This coming summer I want to take her position when she leaves, however now I've got to compete against another guy who has significantly less experience than me and has a poor work ethic, but has been working in that section (in a subordinate position) and can provide continuity because of his familiarity in that section. Another example, I've always wanted to work overseas in Japan. Historically, NOBODY wants those assignments in Japan because it means they will be away from their kids, family, and familiarity of the USA. When it was time for assignments to be handed out, EVERYBODY in my group wanted to go to Japan. There weren't enough slots to go around and I was assigned to go somewhere else. Karma ****ed me into being stuck in a group of people who all wanted to go, thus making the usually uncompetitive slots, highly competitive. Those are some examples of a common trend that constantly occurs in my life with work.

On the other side of the coin, I'll give an example with one of my friends who has gotten everything she has ever wanted. Comes from a stable, loving, supportive, strong family. Met her soulmate during training and married her. Has been overseas, gotten every billet/position she has ever wanted just by saying she wants it. Her and I both work hard, but she just gets whatever she wants because of timing and gets assigned to work for good people who genuinely invest in developing their subordinates. Every single one of my bosses has been selfish and treated myself and my co-workers like pawns on a chessboard. 

So here's my question: why do I constantly get ****ed no matter how hard a I work? whereas there are people who put in the hard work but always get whatever they want? when comparing me and my friend, the path life metaphorically laid out for her is a long, flat meadow with her goals on the other side. She just needs to run and take it. For me, the path life metaphorically laid out for me is steep ****ing mountain, with thunderstorms, avalanches, and crumbling rocks with my goals at the tip top. 

Was I born with bad karma from a past life? Does God have a really ****ty will for me? Will I ever be able to break out of this and be able to get on the same fortuituous wavelength as my friend or is that impossible to do? Like my life has always been so crappy (for the sake of brevity I only gave a few examples in this post) I feel like some malevolent force is cursing me. However I don't know what I have done to deserve this and what I can do to make amends. 

Thoughts? Serious answers please. And please no "there are worse things, suck it up buttercup". I am well aware that I am lucky I don't live in 3rd world conditions. 

[Kismit]

Welcolm to UM.

The problem as I see it is, that we are taught that good karma is a  magical thing. Or that God ( or any other magical force with control) only lets us suffer what we can handle, and will reward our goodness.

The sad truth is that life is just a set of random events, and sometimes bad things happen. That is why it is important for us all to care for one another.

I am not a trained councilor but I do sense in your story a deep feeling of not feeling loved. Watching your friends get things you felt you never had. And being alone during key parts of your life must have been very difficult. 

Do you feel that you have benefited in anyway from this less than orthodox life?

 

[Will Due]

Welcome.

My life has been similar to yours. I'm almost 60 years old and I can tell you that without all the struggles of my steep path I would not have the valuable spiritual things I possess. 

In my opinion, you are on your way to achieving great things, however hard it is in your life station at the moment.

Faith is the key. With that, all hardship will be overcome. Just remember that the greatest affliction is to never have been afflicted.

You are standing in line to being promoted to the highest position possible. To succeed in the face of difficulties, when others don't have the opportunity to do the same thing. 

What will be apparent eventually is that your situation is the other way around. Your struggles are actually the means to a profoundly happy life. Soldiers are often heroes and make the difference in the lives of many.

You will be rewarded.

 

 

[XenoFish]

If you believe in karma especially "bad karma" you're going to create self fulfilling prophecy. Meaning the more you focus on the depressing stuff the more you will creating. Its a self reinforcing loop. Now, if you want to change you need a goal and a well constructed plan. Don't wish for a better life, create it.

[IV XV LXXXVIII]

2 hours ago, Kismit said:

Welcolm to UM.

The problem as I see it is, that we are taught that good karma is a  magical thing. Or that God ( or any other magical force with control) only lets us suffer what we can handle, and will reward our goodness.

The sad truth is that life is just a set of random events, and sometimes bad things happen. That is why it is important for us all to care for one another.

I am not a trained councilor but I do sense in your story a deep feeling of not feeling loved. Watching your friends get things you felt you never had. And being alone during key parts of your life must have been very difficult. 

Do you feel that you have benefited in anyway from this less than orthodox life?

 

Thank you for your response. There are a few benefits in that I inherited everything my parents owned (I'm an only child) so financially I am very secure and well taken care of. So materialistically, I definitely benefited. Emotionally - because I've always gotten the short end of the stick - I've become hyper aware of people's true nature good and bad. And I have a strong sense of empathy. I've forged some rock solid friendships as a result. But I've also created some rock solid enemies because I'll hold others accountable for their indiscretions. But sadly I haven't met anyone to make that special connection with. 

 

1 hour ago, Will Due said:

Welcome.

My life has been similar to yours. I'm almost 60 years old and I can tell you that without all the struggles of my steep path I would not have the valuable spiritual things I possess. 

In my opinion, you are on your way to achieving great things, however hard it is in your life station at the moment.

Faith is the key. With that, all hardship will be overcome. Just remember that the greatest affliction is to never have been afflicted.

You are standing in line to being promoted to the highest position possible. To succeed in the face of difficulties, when others don't have the opportunity to do the same thing. 

What will be apparent eventually is that your situation is the other way around. Your struggles are actually the means to a profoundly happy life. Soldiers are often heroes and make the difference in the lives of many.

You will be rewarded.

 

 

Thank you for your insight. I've tried to see it that way, but after years and years of one hardship after another, and then seeing people close to me get what they desire without half the struggles I go through, it is quite difficult. I'll revisit your train of thought and focus on that rather than let negativity consume me. 

2 hours ago, XenoFish said:

If you believe in karma especially "bad karma" you're going to create self fulfilling prophecy. Meaning the more you focus on the depressing stuff the more you will creating. Its a self reinforcing loop. Now, if you want to change you need a goal and a well constructed plan. Don't wish for a better life, create it.

Thank you. It is easier said than done, but I'll make a greater effort to not let negativity consume me. 

[Kismit]

So your main goal is to find your soul mate? Someone to trust, who holds up to a standard of behaivior you feel is acceptable? Am I right?

Can you tell me what your boundaries are? What would you list as an indescretion? 

Myself I am a forgiving person, I don't tend to take, what I view, as other peoples failings on board. There is always a reason people are the way they are.

That does not mean I won't distance myself from danger. I will be weary of people who wrong me.

[XenoFish]

6 hours ago, IV XV LXXXVIII said:

Thank you. It is easier said than done, but I'll make a greater effort to not let negativity consume me.

There are things you can change, make the effort to change them. There are things you can not change, change your attitude towards them. Then there are imaginary problems, forget about them. 

Saying that it's easier said than done is adding a mental difficulty level. Success isn't the important things, the doing is the important thing. If you want to really change your life, you're going to fail a 1000 times but through persistent action you have that one time where you get it right. Plus those who appear to have a golden life, have other issues that they're dealing with. Life is what you make of it. Just don't take it too seriously.

22 stoic truth bombs

Have a read. Might give you some new thoughts to ponder over.

[preacherman76]

9 hours ago, IV XV LXXXVIII said:

Thank you for your response. There are a few benefits in that I inherited everything my parents owned (I'm an only child) so financially I am very secure and well taken care of. So materialistically, I definitely benefited. Emotionally - because I've always gotten the short end of the stick - I've become hyper aware of people's true nature good and bad. And I have a strong sense of empathy. I've forged some rock solid friendships as a result. But I've also created some rock solid enemies because I'll hold others accountable for their indiscretions. But sadly I haven't met anyone to make that special connection with. 

 

Thank you for your insight. I've tried to see it that way, but after years and years of one hardship after another, and then seeing people close to me get what they desire without half the struggles I go through, it is quite difficult. I'll revisit your train of thought and focus on that rather than let negativity consume me. 

Thank you. It is easier said than done, but I'll make a greater effort to not let negativity consume me. 

You are financially secure?? My life as a younger man was kinda similar, minus the security. NTM I believe you said you are 25 years old?? 

I think what you need is a different perspective. Things could be much much worse. I was making 10 bucks an hour at your age, trying to survive on it. 

I’m honestly not trying to be a jerk here, but from my POV you should be spending time everyday counting your blessings. 

ETA- you’d be surprised what a state of gratitude can do for your mental wellbeing 

Edited January 4, 2018 by preacherman76

[IV XV LXXXVIII]

12 hours ago, preacherman76 said:

You are financially secure?? My life as a younger man was kinda similar, minus the security. NTM I believe you said you are 25 years old?? 

I think what you need is a different perspective. Things could be much much worse. I was making 10 bucks an hour at your age, trying to survive on it. 

I’m honestly not trying to be a jerk here, but from my POV you should be spending time everyday counting your blessings. 

ETA- you’d be surprised what a state of gratitude can do for your mental wellbeing 

I'm financially secure at the cost of having two dead parents, one of which was an neglectful abusive alcoholic before he passed. 

The main issue I am addressing is I feel like I have so little control over my life because no matter how much hard work I put in, success or the desired outcome always seems out of reach. I chose to share my life story in a nutshell to give you all an idea of what you're working with. So my question to the good people of this forum is:

1. Is this a result of paying back a karmic debt from a past life? Like I've got bad karma passed down to me from generation to generation?

2. Is this part of God's will?

3. Is it possible for me to gain control through things like law of attraction? If so, can you point me to some resources?

 

16 hours ago, Kismit said:

So your main goal is to find your soul mate? Someone to trust, who holds up to a standard of behaivior you feel is acceptable? Am I right?

Can you tell me what your boundaries are? What would you list as an indescretion? 

Myself I am a forgiving person, I don't tend to take, what I view, as other peoples failings on board. There is always a reason people are the way they are.

That does not mean I won't distance myself from danger. I will be weary of people who wrong me.

Kismit, you hit the nail on the head. My main frustration is why there are some people who find it so easily and yet there are people like me who struggle.

 

[XenoFish]

On 1/4/2018 at 9:15 PM, IV XV LXXXVIII said:

The main issue I am addressing is I feel like I have so little control over my life because no matter how much hard work I put in, success or the desired outcome always seems out of reach. I chose to share my life story in a nutshell to give you all an idea of what you're working with. So my question to the good people of this forum is:

So you're dealing what all of us deal with. 

1. Is this a result of paying back a karmic debt from a past life? Like I've got bad karma passed down to me from generation to generation?

No.

2. Is this part of God's will?

No.

3. Is it possible for me to gain control through things like law of attraction? If so, can you point me to some resources?

No. Here's the real deal. First you only have so much control in life, if you can change something do it, if you can't change your attitude towards it. There are also real problems and imaginary ones, you need to learn the difference. This whole "Karma" thing is an imaginary problem. It doesn't exist because the bulk of your life is created by your choices. If you focus on the negative (odd coming from the resident pessimist) that is the only thing you will see.

I used to be a painfully optimistic individual and to be truthful, I wasn't happy at all. I started leaning towards my default settings (pessimism) and life got better. I have low expectations for any and everything, so I'm rarely ever disappointed. I do what I can, the best I can, and let the dice fall were they will. So the only real advice I can give you is to let this Karma idea go. Don't even worry about it, set a goal that's achievable and persist at it, success or failure do not matter, doing does.

[Illyrius]

Man learns from failures so bad things and trials can make a person more advanced individual. Strive towards positive things, law of karma will reward you.

[Truthseeker007]

On ‎1‎/‎4‎/‎2018 at 4:08 AM, XenoFish said:

If you believe in karma especially "bad karma" you're going to create self fulfilling prophecy. Meaning the more you focus on the depressing stuff the more you will creating. Its a self reinforcing loop. Now, if you want to change you need a goal and a well constructed plan. Don't wish for a better life, create it.

Well that is a very wise statement coming from you. Very good point.

[Truthseeker007]

On ‎1‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 5:15 AM, IV XV LXXXVIII said:

 

2. Is this part of God's will?

 

If it were a God's will then you will have to ask who and what is God? Why would a God want to make your life miserable?

[Guyver]

On 1/3/2018 at 4:17 PM, IV XV LXXXVIII said:

Hey ya'll. I'm brand new to the forum and need guidance on dealing with why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good things happen to bad people?

Bad things happen to people, be they good or bad.  Bad things happen in life because that’s what is.  Good things, could be thought of the same way.  But good and bad are subjective, based on personal opinions and ideas.  

For example, I think you chose a bad screen name for this forum.  But that’s my own opinion, and it must be different from yours because you obviously chose Roman numerals as a name for a reason that I assume you thought was good.  

In any event, on to your personal problems.  We all have them, so you are not unique in that regard. It has been said that if one has no expectations there will be no disappointments.  This is true, and really hard to do based on our own mental conditioning.  Personally, I think that anytime you consider success or failure based on other people, what they do or have, you set yourself up for failure.  You are you alone, and yours is the only life you live.  Therefore, I think you would be much happier if you just focus on things you can control (like yourself) and forget about what everyone else has, does not have, gets or does not get.

I think a form of success is being content with what one does have, and appreciative of the good things in life that one does enjoy.

[Grandpa Greenman]

Stop staring at the dark side of your life.  You got some good things going for you. You seem to have your health and are financially secure.  I wish I had that.  I like the Buddhist view of Karma.  Karma means the actions you do in this life create karma good or bad.  Do bad you get bad in return, do good and get good in return, though I find it doesn't always work like that.  I know people who live hellish lives by no fault of their own, who have Multiple Sclerosis.  One friend, can't move, can't see, can't speak, there is nothing she could have done to warrant that kind of karma. She was a nurse and one of kindest person I have known. It's not fair, but whoever said life was fair. 

If I was young, financially secure, and healthy, I would not have a boss, I would create my own business doing something I love doing.  When you do things you love you tend to meet people who love the same things.  I met my late wife and soulmate hiking in the woods. Like me she loved nature and being in the outdoors. 

[Nostrodumbass]

On 1/5/2018 at 4:15 AM, IV XV LXXXVIII said:

I'm financially secure at the cost of having two dead parents, one of which was an neglectful abusive alcoholic before he passed. 

The main issue I am addressing is I feel like I have so little control over my life because no matter how much hard work I put in, success or the desired outcome always seems out of reach. I chose to share my life story in a nutshell to give you all an idea of what you're working with. So my question to the good people of this forum is:

1. Is this a result of paying back a karmic debt from a past life? Like I've got bad karma passed down to me from generation to generation?

2. Is this part of God's will?

3. Is it possible for me to gain control through things like law of attraction? If so, can you point me to some resources?

 

Kismit, you hit the nail on the head. My main frustration is why there are some people who find it so easily and yet there are people like me who struggle.

 

1. Karma: If you can't remember the previous life and the bad you did you should not be held responsible for that. Suffering or punishment only have meaning when you have perspective and would accomplish nothing without it.

2. God's will: In my opinion God's will is not for our success or happiness in this world, but for us to be in union with him in spirit. Thus making the suffering and happiness we experience here irrelevant, uninfluenced by God and just part of life. Sometimes when our spirit yearns for God and truth, the flesh resists and causes us all kind of fleshly destructive desires and unhappiness. This is how our spirit exposes the meaningful and meaningless things in life.

3. Karma doesn't hate you and God doesn't hate you. You are not a victim (you are just living this life of ours, good and bad......i mean there are many children that die, if they could talk what should they say?). If you are not careful and pick yourself up you will always have karma, god and yourself keeping you down.

Hope you find courage to face this surprisingly random life we have. All the best!