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Still Waters

Woman predicts the future using asparagus

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Still Waters

A woman who predicts the future using, um, asparagus, has now revealed her vision for 2018.

Jemima Packington, 61, is the world’s only ‘asparamancer’, and claims she can see into the future by tossing asparagus into the air and interpreting how the spears land.

Some of Jemima’s predictions last year came true. For example, she said it would rain in the summer, and the UK ended up having the 11th wettest summer on record.

And in previous years she’s correctly predicted the credit crunch, the Euro crisis, and Andy Murray winning Wimbledon.

http://www.anglenews.com/womans-asparagus-tells-her-theresa-mays-going-to-quit-this-year/

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joc
9 minutes ago, Still Waters said:

A woman who predicts the future using, um, asparagus, has now revealed her vision for 2018.

Jemima Packington, 61, is the world’s only ‘asparamancer’, and claims she can see into the future by tossing asparagus into the air and interpreting how the spears land.

Some of Jemima’s predictions last year came true. For example, she said it would rain in the summer, and the UK ended up having the 11th wettest summer on record.

And in previous years she’s correctly predicted the credit crunch, the Euro crisis, and Andy Murray winning Wimbledon.

http://www.anglenews.com/womans-asparagus-tells-her-theresa-mays-going-to-quit-this-year/

I also predict the future according to asparagus.  I have predicted with 100% accuracy that...if I eat asparagus, my pee will stink!

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DebDandelion

Just no...I have to wonder whether fresh asparagus and old asparagus render the same predictions...sigh....I predict that it will rain...in summer...let's wait and see...

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pallidin

Jeeze... all this time I was using celery sticks. My bad.

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Stiff

"For 2018, her predictions include the stepping down of UK Prime Minister Theresa May, a spate of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions around the world, a string of political scandals and a significant downturn in the economies of several countries."

These are hardly predictions. More like expectations.

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DirtyDocMartens

I would have given the same opinions if anyone had asked me.

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_KB_

As someone who used to be way in to magic during my early teens I can tell you that this is basically a more hipster version of stick casting or whatever it's called in English (when you just randomly throw down some sticks and try to interpret something)

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Lilly
5 hours ago, joc said:

I also predict the future according to asparagus.  I have predicted with 100% accuracy that...if I eat asparagus, my pee will stink!

And I'm a woman who can tell you why this happens!

It's because asparagusic acid is metabolized into other sulfur-containing compounds, most specifically this one: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methanethiol

*science teachers can sorta tell the future too*

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LV-426

"For example, she said it would rain in the summer, and the UK ended up having the 11th wettest summer on record."

Anyone who lives in Britain could have predicted this one... with or without mystic vegetables :rolleyes:

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joc
4 minutes ago, Lilly said:

And I'm a woman who can tell you why this happens!

It's because asparagusic acid is metabolized into other sulfur-containing compounds, most specifically this one: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methanethiol

*science teachers can sorta tell the future too*

Who knew! I am in your debt for that jewel of wisdom!B)  ...hmmm highly flammable....note to self:   

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Lilly
3 minutes ago, joc said:

Who knew! I am in your debt for that jewel of wisdom!B)  ...hmmm highly flammable....note to self:   

Feel free to tell everyone...oh, and no flatulence near an open flame!

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Timonthy
3 hours ago, Lilly said:

Feel free to tell everyone...oh, and no flatulence near an open flame!

Where’s the fun in that!?

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DebDandelion
10 hours ago, DirtyDocMartens said:

I would have given the same opinions if anyone had asked me.

You predicter you...

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DebDandelion
9 hours ago, _KB_ said:

As someone who used to be way in to magic during my early teens I can tell you that this is basically a more hipster version of stick casting or whatever it's called in English (when you just randomly throw down some sticks and try to interpret something)

It is like in SA where the ancestors of some  cultures throw bones to predict...every culture has something to contribute to the prediction era

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DebDandelion
7 hours ago, joc said:

Who knew! I am in your debt for that jewel of wisdom!B)  ...hmmm highly flammable....note to self:   

Can't get that picture out of my head of you going to the bathroom with a lit cigarette....and q the asparagus wee...oh my soul...it is funny in my head!

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Sooth Sayer

Can someone please asparagus from this story?

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Aardvark-DK

That one almost have the same color and texture as Trumps hair...I predict that will continue...

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