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Requiem

Unexplained Experiences Throughout My Life

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Posted (edited)

Hello all,

First and foremost, I want to say that this is the first time I've ever posted on a forum like this, and I hope I don't offend anyone by saying that--I simply feel it's best to be completely truthful, in the hope that someone here will have advice for me or be able to share similar experiences. I should also note that this is quite long, and I apologize for that. I don't want to leave out anything that might be a clue or might provoke an explanation from someone--everyone I talk to about this gets bored quite fast, and I'm simply at my wit's end with everything.

I suppose I should start at the very first weird occurrences I had as a child. Growing up, I lived in Tennessee between my father and my mother (they split when I was a baby). When I was about six, my father moved north to Pennsylvania, thus leaving me with my mother, stepfather, and my two half-brothers. We were always extremely broke, especially once my mother lost her license as a registered nurse due to injuring her back. For most of the next four years, we moved back and forth between Knoxville and Nashville too many times for me to count, and throughout those moves I had a lot of strange experiences. The very first experience I remember is when we lived in this ratty neighborhood in Nashville--we actually ended up living between two houses that sat right next to each other, one my brothers and I called "Greg's House", the other "Dennis's House"--if you couldn't guess, these were named after the respective landlords. We first lived in Greg's house, and I remember my mother always felt very uneasy there. It was a duplex, so we had these strange people that lived upstairs that would never talk to us, and would avoid us at all costs. Anyhow, we had this dog named "Shadow," a German Shepherd that my mother loved dearly. One day, I came home, and my mother's entire bookshelf had been toppled over, and she immediately began crying. I didn't understand it at the time, but she swore many years later (and to this day) that Shadow had toppled all the books over, but had chewed to shreds two distinct books: her bible (I don't know the edition; I wish I did), and a prayer book she had received as a child for her First Communion. Soon after, Shadow bit a passerby while my mother was walking him, and he had to be put down.

Soon after all this, either for a change of pace or because of everything that was going on, my mother moved us to Dennis's house. This is where I can begin to remember things in great detail, and where things truly get disturbing for me looking back as an adult. Dennis's mother had died in the house, which is why he was renting it out to us. Now, it could be that I knew this as a child, which would explain some of the things I encountered, but it still makes me feel very uneasy to this day, despite being an adult. My brother and I shared a corner bedroom on the first floor that faced a pizza joint down the road. Almost every night, I would have a dream where I was standing in the middle of this room, and it was completely devoid of furniture save a rocking chair near the closet in the corner, facing a window. It would slowly begin to rock, almost imperceptible at first, and then by the time I woke up from the nightmare, it would be rocking at blurring speeds. One night in particular, and this is the only time I've ever had this happen in my life, I was half-asleep while my mother and stepfather watched TV in the next room. Right next to my ear, a really deep voice said distinctly: "There's somebody in the house." Needless to say, I waited as long as I could, frozen, then shot out of bed, around the corner, and into my mother's lap, bawling. After that experience, she brought a priest into the house, and she said that while he was there I said to her that I could see a demon on the walls, and in flashes in my mind. She later asked me to draw what I saw, and it was a visage of her body with eyes and a mouth on her chest. Fortunately, after these very terrifying experiences, things began to get a little better. Instead of the nightmares, I began seeing a gown pass just out of sight around doorjambs, but it never terrified me. I recall one night in particular where my mom, stepdad and brothers had gone to pick up food, and for some reason I felt compelled to walk up to the attic, turn on the TV there, and watch Poltergeist 3. Now, I admit this was a terrible choice for my age, but again, I felt compelled to do this--however, instead of feeling frightened, I felt a very strong sense of calm and well-being, like a warm glow on my neck and shoulders. I have no idea what was going on in the movie (I still haven't watched it again, to this day), I was so caught up in the bliss and warmth of that moment. About a year later, we moved out of that house, and began finding cheap apartments instead (this was soon after my mother lost her license).

Things were quiet for a while, until one night in particular that still drives me nuts because I can't figure it out for the life of me. One night I was in the upstairs room of the latest apartment we lived in, and I suddenly stood straight up and felt very odd. Slowly and methodically, I made my way down the stairs, and my mother said I was staring straight ahead the whole time. She ran up to me, and she immediately asked me to tell her what was wrong. I couldn't. I kept gesturing towards my throat, and I couldn't utter a word. She rushed me to the hospital, and a few minutes after arriving, it went away. When I brought this up to her a few years ago, she remembered the event, and stated that she thought I might have had a small seizure, thus explaining the strange behavior and loss of speech. Since I've always been a skeptic, despite the strange events, I was inclined to believe her.

When I turned 11, I moved up north to live with my father in Pennsylvania. That time was very hard for me, especially leaving my brothers, mother and stepfather behind, but I dealt with it as best I could. To be fair, it wasn't any easier being parted from my father all those years before, so I guess I was as acclimated to the loss as one can be. In that time, I never experienced any other events. My mother says that she continued to move around with my brothers, and one house they lived in had a face of shadow on one wall that disappeared when she had a priest visit, but I never personally witnessed that, so I can't attest to it. When I turned 18, I went to college, and summarily flunked out due to far too much partying (I'm sure there's a lesson in that, somewhere). Anyhow, I decided to move back south, my reasoning being that living with my mother would force me to get a job and grow up, primarily because of how destitute her living conditions were. Well, it worked, and I found a job and living quarters quite quickly.

This is where things began to get weird for me again, and I still can't explain this. My brother had been helping out this gentleman that lived in his trailer park (we'll call him L, for the sake of this gentleman's family and friends), doing odd jobs for him like house-sitting while he was away, mowing, and the like. My brother introduced me to L a few days after I had arrived, and L assured me that I could crash there for a few nights if I wanted. The very first night I was there, my brother, L and I all had a few drinks in us, and L said he'd be right back. He went into his bedroom, rummaged around, and then returned with a Polaroid photograph. He said the photo was of his daughter in front of a mantle decorated for Christmas, and he asked me what I saw. Thinking he had just had a few too many, I looked closer at the picture, and it suddenly hit me--in the photo, his daughter appeared to be floating above the mantle. There was nothing behind or below her that could be holding her up, and her feet were about a foot-and-a-half above the ground, hanging. I mentioned this to L, and he merely waved it off as if to say "yeah-yeah" and then told me to look closer. I did, but I couldn't get past the fact that she sincerely looked like she was floating. After another few seconds of this, L got flustered and put the photograph away. That encounter still really bothers me sometimes, because I truly wish he had told me what I was supposed to be looking for. Not an hour later, in the middle of conversation, L suddenly stopped talking and looked directly at my brother with wide eyes, and then to me. Out of nowhere, he said, "I see you, both of you, playing with a red fire truck. There is someone outside the house, looking at you through the window." Now, at this point, I'm thinking "Okay, I'm a grown-ass man and this guy is clearly nuts--it's time to boogy," but my brother slowly set down his beer, licked his lips, and said my name a couple of times. When I looked at him, he said that he knew what L was talking about. 

Now, I don't remember this incident occurring, but my brother has told me this story many times since, and it's exactly the same as on that night. He says that while we were at Dennis's house, there was a night that he and I were playing in our bedroom (the corner one with the closet), and that he had just received a red firetruck with a white extending ladder for Christmas a few weeks prior. He says that out of nowhere, I stood up, opened the closet, and went inside. He states that there was a little door in the very back corner of the closet, and that I had opened it, crawled inside, and shut it behind me. A moment later, I came hurrying out of it, slammed it shut, slammed the closet door shut, and white as a ghost told him to never go in there. On that very first night when he told this, with L sitting right there, my skin was crawling. I stopped drinking, and immediately asked them to put in a movie. But L had other ideas. He looked my brother and I both in the eye and said that he needed to get rid of some spirits. He went into the bedroom he kept for his daughter (at the back of the trailer), shut the door, and began growling and shouting at nothing. This entire time, my brother kept a straight face, and stared at his hands. I think he was in shock, and to be honest, I can't say that I wasn't. Looking back on it, it seems so silly, and I truly thought a few days after these events that I had been pranked. However, a few years later, my opinion would change very drastically, which I'll explain in a moment. Anyhow, once L had spent a few moments screaming at nothing, he came back out and asked my brother to grab garbage bags. For the rest of that night, L slowly went around his daughter's room, shoving her things into big, black garbage bags. While he was doing this, he kept saying that the room would be mine now, and that I would be staying there. I was dumbfounded by this, and became even more so when he took the garbage bags to the dumpster and literally threw out every possession she had within his trailer. 

Thankfully, this was the last event I had like that for years. About six months after moving to Tennessee, I moved back to Pennsylvania, and here I have remained. The saddest part about this to me is that my brother had come to really rely on L as a kind of role model--he gave him responsibility, let him stay in his trailer when he was out on business, and generally trusted my brother with his livelihood. A few years after I moved back, I received a phone call from my brother in the middle of the night. I will remember his words until the day I die. The very first thing he said to me was, "L's dead." Shocked, I asked him, "What?" He said, "L's dead, I saw it happen. He got a six pack of beer, a lawn chair, and sat in front of a train." I didn't know how to respond, and my brother began repeating my name and saying that he saw it happen and hadn't been in time to stop it. Then he said he was joining the army. Although I trusted my brother implicitly, I called my mother to verify, then checked the local news for my brother's county. Sure enough, it had really happened. To this day, my brother and I have never spoken about L, although he will still sometimes recount the closet story if I ask him to. I can tell it bothers him, though, almost as much as it bothers him to talk about his service in the army. Unless I've got one of those feelings or am in the mood, I generally just leave it alone.

For a long time there, things completely went away. I went to college twice, got a job, and became engaged to my girlfriend. I had no other experiences, and aside from sometimes wondering what the hell it was all about, I pretty much left it alone. Then, last year, when I turned 30, everything went to hell again. I don't know what sparked it, but about three nights a week for four months I would have the same recurring dream, or a dream very like it. In this dream, a tall, dark shadow (sometimes with a hat, othertimes not) would be standing in the corner of my room. In the dream, it was like I could feel him there, even if I wasn't looking directly at him, as if he were in my mind's eye. Each and every time, I would begin screaming, "Who are you?" at it. Many times, my fiance would shake me awake, saying that I was moaning in my sleep. One variation to the dream that I remember was him standing directly across from me in another room of my apartment, his hat reaching all the way to the ceiling, and we just stared at each other. I couldn't see his eyes, but I could tell where they would be. Again, I woke up screaming. In another, I was lying in bed facing my fiance, with her facing me, and I heard her say something to me. I responded, and she began talking again. While she was talking, I looked at her face, and her lips weren't moving. As soon as I saw this, the figure stood up from behind her (on the other side of the bed). In another, he was standing right next to me on the bed, and he reached out and touched me on the shoulder. In the very last dream I ever had of this figure, it actually changed. In the dream, I was walking down a long, dark hallway, and at the end of the hallway was a single room that was also extremely long. In the far back corner, there was a four-poster bed, and in the middle of the bed was this thing that sort of resembled a little girl, but it had the covers pulled up to its face. I don't remember its eyes (thank God), but I remember it had really dark hair that hung across its face. As I stared at it, it slowly pulled the cover down from its face. Again, I woke up screaming.

Needless to say, I consulted a friend of a friend about this, who happens to be a medium. He told me that he didn't think the figure was bad, and that he was probably just watching me or observing how I handle his presence. I wasn't too happy about it, but shortly after I had this conversation was when I had the last dream of him. Now, since then I haven't had the dreams, but I do still feel sometimes like something is watching me when I'm alone. It's a very fleeting feeling, but it's there. Where everything takes a strange turn for me is that now I'm not sure what the hell this thing is. For the longest time, I clearly thought it was some kind of spirit, but now I'm wondering if it's actually a visitor. This most recent incident is what actually spurred me to put this all out there, because I am truly baffled. A few nights ago, I was sitting on my couch and watching TV--this was probably between 2am-3am. Out of nowhere, I felt the strangest urge to start talking to thin air! It was almost like I had an audience, so I begin saying things like, "I don't believe in money. Peace is all that matters. I've never truly been happy working a 9-5. I miss my grandmother." Just random things that I wouldn't say to most people I know, let alone the thin air in the middle of the night. Oddly enough, though, I felt really good after I did it, as if a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders. 

Exactly two nights ago, I had another dream, and this one really, really bothers me, almost more than the tall figure dreams. In it, I'm standing at the top of a flight of stairs, looking down at the front door of a house I've never been in, and my father is in a room adjacent to the stairs lying in bed. I can see him there, cloaked in shadow, and moonlight is pouring in from a window directly beside him. In other words, I'm looking through the open doorway at him, and the window is on the front of the house. Suddenly, he sits straight up in bed, looks out the window, and says, "They're gathering on the lawn out there. I can see them!" He starts to scream, and suddenly I begin walking down the stairs. At that moment, the front door flies open, and there's this five-foot tall, melted-looking brown thing coming up the stairs right at me. As I continue down the stairs towards it, my father suddenly stops screaming, and I begin to shout, "Dad, what do I do? Dad, what do I do?" At the very end of the dream, it came right up to my face, and I saw a flash of a blade. I'm not sure if it was in my hand or its, but I distinctly remember there being a knife. I also just realized that I might have written some of this in different tenses--I apologize for that. Sometimes when I'm remembering things, I write it as if I'm watching it so it's easier to pick out the details.

Again, I realize this is very, very long, but I'm hoping someone can help me here. Even just a word of advice, an observation, or a possible explanation would mean the world to me. My whole life I've been trying to figure all of this out, to the point that I've truly begun to wonder if I'm just nuts. The only thing is, I feel like I wouldn't think I was nuts if I actually was. Anyhow, thank you for taking the time to read this, and I look forward to hearing what you all have to say.

EDIT: As an added note, I guess I'm also very concerned that these dreams are going to start up again. I really don't want that to happen. Those four months were some of the hardest I've had, primarily due to lack of sleep. Hopefully, by at least getting this out of my mind and into written form, it will help alleviate whatever the hell is going on here.

Edited by Requiem

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It isn't good. Do the LBRP and maybe the Middle Pillar, too. 

Then get some sleep. 

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Posted (edited)

@ChaosRose I’ve never heard of those techniques before, but I’m willing to try them. I looked up the first one you mentioned and although it initially seemed like a lot, I imagine it gets easier with practice. Thank you for that. I was also wondering if you might be able to provide some insight as to what you think it is when you say it’s bad/not good. Am I haunted? Cursed? I feel like a kid again sometimes—lost as hell and confused. I’ve always been skeptical of most things, although these experiences are hard for me to explain away. I feel some comprehension of what is happening to me (and what happened before) might help. 

Edited by Requiem

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13 minutes ago, Requiem said:

@ChaosRose I’ve never heard of those techniques before, but I’m willing to try them. I looked up the first one you mentioned and although it initially seemed like a lot, I imagine it gets easier with practice. Thank you for that. I was also wondering if you might be able to provide some insight as to what you think it is when you say it’s bad/not good. Am I haunted? Cursed? I feel like a kid again sometimes—lost as hell and confused. I’ve always been skeptical of most things, although these experiences are hard for me to explain away. I feel some comprehension of what is happening to me (and what happened before) might help. 

Different people have different ideas about this. 

Skeptics are gonna say it's either just dreams or sleep paralysis/hypnagogia.

Believers are gonna say they are actual entities/demons/archons, etc.

I'm one of those in between people. I think the stuff comes from our subconscious fears, and that we create actual phenomena that can be observed.

Whoever's right about it, they are real experiences. 

Wherever you fall on that spectrum of belief or disbelief, banishment works. I know it because I had all kinds of woo going on and I was able to oust it all.

And you should oust it. If something is invading your bedroom and interrupting your sleep...all around terrorizing you...it isn't nice. 

Even if you think it's "only" your subconscious, that's no small thing. The dark recesses of our psyche can be very scary places. 

You want to take hold of the reins and not let it take you on a wild ride. 

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I agree with you that sleep paralysis could be a factor with the strange dreams, as well as some of what I experienced as a child. I can’t explain my brother’s friend’s behavior, but he was kind of an oddball to begin with, so I try to take it with a grain of salt to this day. Nonetheless, it can’t hurt to take steps to remedy this, so I’ll try the banishment. I’ll follow-up and report any changes I experience in sleep/dreams/etc. Thank you!

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2 minutes ago, Requiem said:

I agree with you that sleep paralysis could be a factor with the strange dreams, as well as some of what I experienced as a child. I can’t explain my brother’s friend’s behavior, but he was kind of an oddball to begin with, so I try to take it with a grain of salt to this day. Nonetheless, it can’t hurt to take steps to remedy this, so I’ll try the banishment. I’ll follow-up and report any changes I experience in sleep/dreams/etc. Thank you!

No problem.

There are certain things you can do if you are actually having those paralysis episodes.

Try not sleeping on your back. Get enough sleep. If you have an experience, try not to go back to sleep right away...get up and move around a bit. Avoid napping. 

Try to move a body part. Say a prayer or mantra (in your head if you cannot speak). Anything you believe in strongly would work. 

If you find that you can move, try to touch whatever it is that you are seeing. The things aren't real in the same sense as we think of real. They're like phantoms or smoke. They dissipate.

It can be really empowering to understand that. 

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I think you are simply a psychic and/or medium sponge and pick up all energies, and as you have no idea how to protect yourself from any negative energy, you  have fallen prey to frightening experiences.

Find a trustworthy source/teacher to allow you to harness your gifts and energies and protect yourself and your  home or anywhere you go or live. Get a healing and remember when drinking alcohol or taking drugs, it opens up the aura and allows negative energies to attach themselves so always go to the highest source to ask for protection and imagine yourself in a protective bubble guarded by Archangel Michael for example or another divine energy of your choice. Ask that your home and you are surrounded by the archangels and in each corner of your home and above and below you and that only energy from the light can enter your space. Best of luck in the future with it.

Regards

Dreaming

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Wow great read man.

Me and Rose are for the most part on the same page with these subjects, so I don't have much more to add.

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Thank you all for the great responses. To be quite frank, since yesterday I have become enraptured with this community, and the many stories and testimonies that people share on this forum. I think I'll stick around, both to hopefully garner some more information as to what I may have experienced/am experiencing, but also to hopefully give back to the community that was so quick and willing to help me. Thanks again, and I look forward to seeing you all around on the forums.

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