pallidin, February 12, 2018 in Philosophy and Psychology
I was abused as a child.
It hurts me to this day.
My thoughts go from self-shame to extreme anger.
I'm sorry you were abused and it still causes you pain. But maybe with some help you can have the pain lessen and have a better life. Many people are abused but somehow manage to have a family and not be that way to their wife and kids. The hurt won't ever go away in the sense that it is in your psyche, but with prayer, therapy and other things it can be bearable or even overcome.You shouldn't be ashamed, because your not the one who started the abuse, whatever it was.Whoever the adult was they should not have chosen you or any kid to take out their personal demons and frustrations out on. The extreme anger comes because somehow something , an ordinary event triggers some buried memory, Your angry because you may have told adults and they didn't listen. Or maybe because you were scared that if a mere kid and you tried to stop it, the abuse whatever it was might get far worse, or be visited upon a younger brother or sister or even your mom.
My parents weren't great, but I don't think I'd call them abusive. I've been in an abusive relationship before, though, and it's not a good time. It's easy to say "just walk away" until you live it yourself. My cold, dead heart goes out to anyone in a similar situation, be it a parent, a significant other, a friend, etc.
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