Khazi And Me

[StarMountainKid]

This is the final Khazi story in the series. You're probably glad of this.

Khazi And Me

Khazi and me came out of our room soon after all hell broke loose. We’d thought all of that was over and finished, but no, somehow it had started all over again. I guessed the arsenals weren’t depleted yet and whoever were still in charge weren’t satisfied with what they had already done. Nobody’s ever satisfied it seems.

After things settled down later that afternoon, the punks began to ravage the city. We didn’t blame their anger, as what little we had left was now taken from us. Nothing could stop them in their rage, so we kept our distance.

We wanted to find some safer territory, so we moved cautiously to the outskirts of a ruined industrial district, then on until we came to what passed for farmland. Nothing remained intact anywhere. Even empty land seemed to have been worn out and scraped clean, except it wasn’t clean; it was as contaminated as was everything.

As we moved on, the air smelled chemical, even this far from the city. We tried to breathe as little as we could, but you have to breathe, right? When we reached the hill country and climbed a little, the smell lessened and we felt better. Felt better in a relative way, of course. When we reached the top of a hill we looked back, and all was still fire and smoke. We guessed the punks were still at it.

We were sort of punks ourselves, but not extreme. We just liked to trash. That’s different than demolish and obliterate. That was for the hardcore, the skinheads and fanatics. The crazies. We weren’t crazy, not yet anyway. It was keen, though, thinking of the lunatics having their way with everything. Destruction rattled something deep inside us; its appeal is in the blood. I suppose that’s what started it all. It’s like getting off. Nothing to compare it to. A shriek in silence always gets the adrenalin pumping.

So we decided to spend the night on that hill. When it got dark we watched the stars through the drifting haze. It was beautiful in its way. I always liked watching stars. They're so distant and clean. Like a beconing to something.

Well, after a while we did what we do, and then there was this big explosion way down in the city that lit up the sky. We supposed all this was going on all over the planet, but we couldn’t be sure. There was no way to know, but we supposed anyway.

In the morning we decided to go back down to the city and have a go’round. When we got there everything looked crushed and bleak. There wasn’t much left of anything anywhere. All the jiggers would be asleep by now, we figured, so it would only be semi-dangerous. We could handle semi-danger. We were semi-dangerous ourselves. We’d proved that in times of necessity.

The city was just debris, like I say, but it was a jive to see it all like this. I mean, why not? There were some civilians roaming, too, but they stepped back out of our way and kept their distance. They all had this dazed look on their faces, like they couldn’t believe it could happen again after that moment of peace. What did they expect? I felt kinda sorry for them, but it didn’t make much difference, as we were all going to end up the same in the end.

Hiking down something that used to be a street we heard a rumble somewhere off in the distance. Probably the last building falling over. You’d think it would be a big job toppling buildings, but everything was rotted pretty much by then, so it was easier than you might expect. Most stuff just fell apart and crashed by theirselves. You had to be careful not to be crushed by stuff just crumpling and smashing down. We had some close calls ourselves. Empathy had saved us more than once.

Anyway, we found a busted water pipe and drank some, but we knew doing that would shorten our span of years, as Khazi said it. We laughed at this. Our span was short enough anyway, so what did it matter?

After that, we just sat under some crumpled concrete slab that jutted out into nothing and looked at each other. We were pretty dozy, but we smiled anyway and put our arms around each other for comfort. The sky was turning grey with clouds or whatever it was and now the sun was gone, and everything around us looked grey and grim, including ourselves. I was feeling a little sicky myself now. We made a deal it would be best to go out together. We didn’t want one of us to go on alone. Alone would be too much to bear.

It was kinda peaceful sitting there in all that grey hopelessness. It was pretty quiet. The punks and smashers were probably sitting around admiring their work. They had finished what someone else had started, so they felt blameless. It’s a nice feeling when your work is all done.

As the day went on, sitting there in the dust and grime, we began to feel a part of it. Part of all the ruin, I mean. We were ruined, too, so what was the difference? Khazi started to cough some and slouch, and my bones were beginning to feel dislocated from each other. That was a sign for me. We didn’t say too much after that. Later I tried to make some kind of joke or another, but my voice turned to sandpaper before I could get it all out. Khazi wouldn’t have laughed, anyway. It was about the end for him, too.

I wrote all this down for some reason here. I know it’ll just blow away in a filthy wind to join all the other ruins we all made of everything, but I wrote it anyway. At the end I wanted my last look to be at something nice, like it was, but I can’t see too good now, and besides, there’s nothing nice to look at.

It’s not so bad though, really. Maybe somewhere there’s kids like us smiling or something, still in a nice place where it’s pretty. I like to think so. They’re maybe in some way-off jungle where it’s still green and flowery and the sun is shining bright in a clear blue sky and they’re happy. I guess I’m happy, too, in a way, 'cuz it’s finally over. There’s nothing left to grieve for anyway. I look to my friend. One last embrace, but now an embrace of only one.

I look away. I know I won’t miss this ravaged world we created.

The only thing I’ll really miss is how much I love Khazi.