What is the Astral Realm?

[jmccr8]

8 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

I knew that .As i explained,  I just visualised what it would mean if a person took your words literally eg if one was so desperate  that one truly had no standards in choosing a date. 

It was humorous.

  It actually had me in tears of laughter, as i though of what would happen if someone took it literally. 

(  I could envisage a scene from one of those American sit coms  where someone DID act literally on the advice.)

i realised you were not literal and i dint expect the advice to be taken literally ( It would be almost impossible for any real person to be that dumb)

My point was what could happen if it WAS taken literally.  

Not quite sure what got under sherapy's skin, and still cant see what she thinks i was suggesting, or what prejudices she thinks it demonstrates. 

visualized hmm, interesting considering you can't visualize.

jmccr8

Edited May 22, 2018 by jmccr8
Not sure

[jmccr8]

6 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

Lol.  Ego, much?

IMO what people come into contact with, is not their own past memories, but the recorded lives of other people  from the past.

  Maybe people check out a sort of " rotten tomatoes"  rating first, before choosing a past life to fit them

 " Duh this ones a slave on the pyramids . Sounds boring. Oh, here is Cleopatra's hair dresser;, much more interesting. "

In my own experiences I have tended to the more mundane, but then i am using the abilty as sort of tool for historical research. i want to know what it was like to build the pyramids,  sail  on a war ship from  the Napoleonic wars, fly a Sopwith camel or work  as a nurse in a hospital  during the Crimean or first world war.    The answer to all of those is damn hard work, and very mostly very boring; but also  often very noisy, smelly, and dangerous    People don't realise things like the lack of sanitation  and  hot water  or indeed the total lack of knowledge and understanding  about the nature of our world, which almost every modern  high school child has, but that those people had no conception about 

An encyclopedia of history facts from the imaginary Walker files.

jmccr8

[jmccr8]

4 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

ALL of which goes to speak about you,  rather  than me.   It is you who has the problem with me, so don't read my posts at all and don't respond to them.  It is no loss to me, and might keep you from getting high blood pressure   

I was pointing out a factual tendency by Sherapy to; first make assumptions about me and my motivations ( usually  based on her own world view and life experiences, not mine) and then; second, make statements of opinion as if they were of fact, based on those false assumptions.
Anyone reading her posts dispassionately will identify this technique and style of posting when addressed to me, which is always personal, and never to the point of a  debate   She gave up trying to win factual or opinion based  debates with me many years ago    

People tend to believe those they agree with/"like,"  or who confirm their own opinions

I am always open to factual or logical debate on any point of view.  

I don't agree with your assessment of her personality, but wont say more because   i appreciate that my pwn opinion    is biased by her treatment of me,  and her ongoing personal  attacks on me and, at times, my family 

I wonder, if she called your parent's child abusers, if you would still see her as  nice or  as kind as you currently do

I put sherapy on ignore, but because of the ongoing nature of her personal attacks, and the lies she puts forward as truths,  I have had to monitor all her posts and reply, in order to deny them.  

. . 

 

 

Hi Walker

I read Aquilla's post and it was pretty and straightforward as well as pretty straightforward and he was talking about the you that most of us do see not the imaginary one.

jmccr8

[jmccr8]

3 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

There are only a few posters on UM who use personal slander and lies to discredit   others.

Sherapy does this (perhaps only with me )   Sherapy has a problem with me for  reasons i don't know, but i suspect go to her own childhood and upbringing, compared to my own.  

I dont know if she believes the rubbish she puts forward about me, my character, or motivations or life experiences. Or if she knows its all rubbish but writes it any way 

You are doing something similar. I have no problem with women and  have a great respect  for them   yet you insinuate some form of disrespect,  or  that i see her as a weaker target In fact i see her as quite dangerous, powerful, clever and manipulative.  She brings to mind one of those  cheerleader characters from a teen movie who leads a pack of girls with good looks charm and external grace but with something quite difernt at their heart  (and yes i might be wrong but this comes from she treats me )  

There is a lot of steel in her, and a lot of cunning/intelligence, and i don't see her as a weak target at all   

You are supporting a false and malicious construct which sherapy often promotes, and is totally untrue, and indeed is the opposite to my character. 

 I treat sherapy exactly as i would a man, and make no allowance for her being of the "weaker sex" because indeed i dont see women  as weaker but as stronger than men    I was raised by two strong women and one gentle but strong, man And never in my family were women ever treated in any way as inferior to men . No one in my family  ever struck a woman, put a woman down, verbally abused a  woman or tried to coerce or manipulate one  and if we did any such thing a s young men we would be punished for it and reeducated  My mother and grandmother ran the house My father brought his pay packet home every second Thursday lunch time and put it unopened on the table. Mum controlled all the budget and finances. Dad did extra mechanical work in the evening for his own pocket money, and expenses,  but his government  pay was all for the family, not him .    

There was nothing but love and respect between the members of my family, Unlike in some.

There are no divorces, no affairs, no violence,  no disrespect, no drunken abuse,  and no physical or verbal  abuse, in any of my direct family over  the  5 generations that i have ever encountered/lived in  No one ever left home or became estranged from  the family The family stayed in close physical and emotional contact  from  the fifties until the present day (and anecdotally back another 100 years in time as well.    There was never a hand raised in anger,  and never a serious loss of temper where a peron lost control of their behaviour    It is all this which shaped my attitude to women and families. 

I do respond to anyone who attacks me, rather than an argument or opinion ( And do so firmly but politely )  but very few stoop to that technique with the degree of consistency, lies and nastiness used by Sherapy  (sometimes concealed by an  apparent  concern for me  and advice on how i could improve myself ) which i do not believe is genuine  for a second   

On moderator's advice when asking about this some time ago .  I  was given two  two choices, not  read or respond to any of her posts , or report Sherapy 

Not responding means i cannot defend myself from outright lies and untruths presented as facts,   and really id rather defend myself than report her   It is up to her to abide within the rules of her own choosing rather than be forced to comply    Go back and read any ten posts by her to me and look at the content, wording, and tone, See how many, if any, speak at all about a topic or argument and how many are direct commentaries on my character. and what i need to do to improve it   . 

Walker

When you make yourself the topic you are the topic, which is exactly what you want. Eyes on Walker everyone "It's Showtime" as Eddy Murphy would say.

jmccr8

[+Sherapy]

1 hour ago, jmccr8 said:

visualized hmm, interesting considering you can't visualize.

jmccr8

I caught that too. 

[+Sherapy]

11 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

I am not doing this, you a re You are the one with baggage and it causes you to be troll like a t times even though i don't think that is intentional .  I HAVE no baggage.

Ive explained this to you many times but you cant accept it, because your life tells you that everyone is hurt, damaged, or has baggage of some sort.

That is not true.  Some of us have just been lucky, with parents, life,  love,  partners etc .,and thus have  no psychological baggage; and some of us have learned how to perceive life's experiences as  blessings rather than  as hurts .

EVERY feeling we have; every hurt, or every anger, and every love, Is a choice we make. It comes from within us, and we have control over it. Life and other people do not make or cause us to feel as we do We choose our feelings   life canot harm us unless we allow it to do so. 

As to your first part i have no idea what yo are saying. i dont do any of those things  and its hard to see where a rational reader would get that from in my posts 

I don't judge people.

I do judge behaviours, and i do work to improve outcomes for people.

I argue that some behaviours are much better (more safe, productive, and constructive) for individuals and societies  (because one can measure their outcomes ) 

But,  for me, a human being is who and what the y are in their mind  (or their human spirit or soul, if you like) not what the y own or what their job is or what colour or sex they are.

  In a sense i truly do not see colour, gender, or  clothing/ possessions etc.  If i judge at all, it is on what the persons character is.  I rub shoulders with all sorts of people from  multi millionaires to homeless people and drug addicts 

  What i will not tolerate is violence,unkindness to others, abuse either physical or emotional,   bullying, put downs, theft  etc by people.

I simply  don't associate with people who cant stop themselves hurting others or worse actually enjoy doing so,  either through violence, greed/selfishness, or emotional manipulation.   

If the y are; loving, caring, kind, and generous of spirit, then  i surround myself with them, and the y become life long friends  . 

MW, I intended  "you" as in general, I wasn't speaking about you. 

It seems to me that whatever plan you are using as a coping mechanism... well it isn't working. IMHO

Ask yourself, what in your life needs attention, perhaps it is you. 

Try some self care...

 

 

 

Edited May 22, 2018 by Sherapy

[XenoFish]

Anyone who claims they "have no baggage" is lying to themselves. I hear the whispers of my own 'Mr.Hyde' more than I'd like to admit. I can admit I have problems. Can you Wally? 

[Aquila King]

49 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Anyone who claims they "have no baggage" is lying to themselves. I hear the whispers of my own 'Mr.Hyde' more than I'd like to admit. I can admit I have problems. Can you Wally? 

[+Sherapy]

Just now, Aquila King said:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha good one AK.

[XenoFish]

1 minute ago, Aquila King said:

I have a monster. And that aspect of my persona has been wanting to get out.

Edited May 22, 2018 by XenoFish

[+Sherapy]

53 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Anyone who claims they "have no baggage" is lying to themselves. I hear the whispers of my own 'Mr.Hyde' more than I'd like to admit. I can admit I have problems. Can you Wally? 

 

[Aquila King]

2 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

I have a monster. And that aspect of my persona has been wanting to get out.

We all do to some extent. The key is in recognizing it for what it is, rather than ignoring it and pretending it doesn't exist.

We only have power over that which we first accept to be true.

[+Sherapy]

25 minutes ago, Aquila King said:

We all do to some extent. The key is in recognizing it for what it is, rather than ignoring it and pretending it doesn't exist.

We only have power over that which we first accept to be true.

Have I told you lately how insightful you are? 

I think denial has a purpose, I think it helps lessen the blow or sting of things as we heal, but the key is to understand and distinguish denial as a momentary reprieve from something hard to cope with versus using it as a lifestyle to avoid the uncomfortable aspects of life. 

Which one really doesn't avoid, the energy it takes to avoid any opinions to the contrary becomes a full time job. 

When I see that I am defending, or feel a compulsion to explain myself it is an oppourtunity for some self reflection, something is going on with me internally that neeeds my attention. I am grateful for the feedback, some applies, some doesn't, I take what I need for growth leave the rest. I think it is easier to take this approach if one has a view of themselves that is realistic as opposed to a perfectionism complex. 

Avoiding ones humanness is the problem, not the other way around. 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 22, 2018 by Sherapy

[XenoFish]

33 minutes ago, Aquila King said:

We all do to some extent. The key is in recognizing it for what it is, rather than ignoring it and pretending it doesn't exist.

We only have power over that which we first accept to be true.

Then there comes a time where you wonder who's really wearing the mask, Jekyll or Hyde? 

[Aquila King]

5 minutes ago, Sherapy said:

Have I told you lately how insightful you are? 

Thanks.  Same goes to you.

6 minutes ago, Sherapy said:

I think denial has a purpose, I think it helps lessen the blow or sting of things as we heal, but the key is to understand and distinguish denial as a momentary reprieve from something hard to cope with versus using it as a lifestyle to avoid the uncomfortable aspects of life. 

It does indeed have a psychological purpose in helping a person avoid pain that they psychologically feel they can't handle atm. It's a perfectly natural response mechanism, but while it does help one cope with negative circumstances, I can't help but see it as an inherently negative way of coping entirely.

Take it from me, an escapist by nature. I developed early on in life a far greater ability to dissociate from my surroundings due to dealing with childhood abuse. When someone is unable to escape a dangerous situation physically, the natural psychological response is to escape it mentally to avoid the pain that one feels they can't handle. So it became ingrained in my psychology to be far more prone to 'daydream' during stressful situations as a means of coping with them. It serves a distinct evolutionary purpose, so as to cope with extreme levels of pain, however depending on the degree to which one does it, it can cause definite problems functioning in the real world. In essence, while it may have it's purpose, it's not something one wants to have.

Now I will point out that dissociation from one's problems isn't the same as outright denial of them. Dissociation merely places stressors in the back of one's mind while they focus on other things by daydreaming, etc. Denial is similar but also very different in that it aides in confusing their daydreams with reality. It's essentially a form of delusion, or rather, one aspect of a delusion, where the subject first outright negates one aspect of reality in their minds so as to prop up an imagined alternative narrative in it's place. Thus the delusion.

I feel like I'm rambling on about things you already know at this point, so I'll stop there. Main thing is, denial may serve a true psychological purpose in certain situations, but it's still one of those things best sought to overcome. For instance, scar tissue serves a purpose as a means of healing and bodily protection from injuries, but you don't ever really want to have a scar in the first place.

27 minutes ago, Sherapy said:

Which one really doesn't avoid, the energy it takes to avoid any opinions to the contrary becomes a full time job. 

Exactly. That's probably why those who think they have it all figured out are also the ones who spend the most time on here trying to convince others who don't 'see the light' as they do.

They're preaching to themselves more than anyone else.

30 minutes ago, Sherapy said:

When I see that I am defending, or feel a compulsion to explain myself it is an oppourtunity for some self reflection, something is going on with me internally that neeeds my attention. I am grateful for the feedback, some applies, some doesn't, I take what I need for growth leave the rest. I think it is easier to take this approach if one has a view of themselves that is realistic as opposed to a perfectionism complex. 

IMO, perfection doesn't exist. It's just a human construct we made up out of insecurity and arrogant grandiosity.

The people I respect the most are those who are just upfront and down to earth with their faults and shortcomings.

32 minutes ago, Sherapy said:

Avoiding ones humanness is the problem, not the other way around. 

Bingo.

To be human is to be weak. And humans despise weakness. So many humans despise their humanity. And in fighting against their humanity, they fight against themselves, thus making themselves ever more weak to begin with.

It's a never-ending cycle that's only stopped with self-acceptance.

[Aquila King]

24 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

Then there comes a time where you wonder who's really wearing the mask, Jekyll or Hyde? 

Perhaps both at different times and in different situations?

[XenoFish]

10 minutes ago, Aquila King said:

Perhaps both at different times and in different situations?

That's what I'm afraid of.

[Aquila King]

11 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

That's what I'm afraid of.

I'd personally suggest avoiding this duality concept, and instead see them both as different aspects of your overall singular personality. The more you try to divorce yourself from certain aspects of yourself, the more power you give to that 'negative' side of you.

Psychology 101 is that suppression doesn't ever solve anything.

[D.O'N]

We all have a darkside, mine is usually around anxiety and other mental problems. Just got to keep working at it.

[+Sherapy]

6 minutes ago, Aquila King said:

Thanks.  Same goes to you.

It does indeed have a psychological purpose in helping a person avoid pain that they psychologically feel they can't handle atm. It's a perfectly natural response mechanism, but while it does help one cope with negative circumstances, I can't help but see it as an inherently negative way of coping entirely.

Take it from me, an escapist by nature. I developed early on in life a far greater ability to dissociate from my surroundings due to dealing with childhood abuse. When someone is unable to escape a dangerous situation physically, the natural psychological response is to escape it mentally to avoid the pain that one feels they can't handle. So it became ingrained in my psychology to be far more prone to 'daydream' during stressful situations as a means of coping with them. It serves a distinct evolutionary purpose, so as to cope with extreme levels of pain, however depending on the degree to which one does it, it can cause definite problems functioning in the real world. In essence, while it may have it's purpose, it's not something one wants to have.

Now I will point out that dissociation from one's problems isn't the same as outright denial of them. Dissociation merely places stressors in the back of one's mind while they focus on other things by daydreaming, etc. Denial is similar but also very different in that it aides in confusing their daydreams with reality. It's essentially a form of delusion, or rather, one aspect of a delusion, where the subject first outright negates one aspect of reality in their minds so as to prop up an imagined alternative narrative in it's place. Thus the delusion.

I feel like I'm rambling on about things you already know at this point, so I'll stop there. Main thing is, denial may serve a true psychological purpose in certain situations, but it's still one of those things best sought to overcome. For instance, scar tissue serves a purpose as a means of healing and bodily protection from injuries, but you don't ever really want to have a scar in the first place.

Exactly. That's probably why those who think they have it all figured out are also the ones who spend the most time on here trying to convince others who don't 'see the light' as they do.

They're preaching to themselves more than anyone else.

IMO, perfection doesn't exist. It's just a human construct we made up out of insecurity and arrogant grandiosity.

The people I respect the most are those who are just upfront and down to earth with their faults and shortcomings.

Bingo.

To be human is to be weak. And humans despise weakness. So many humans despise their humanity. And in fighting against their humanity, they fight against themselves, thus making themselves ever more weak to begin with.

It's a never-ending cycle that's only stopped with self-acceptance.

I gleaned a lot from your post, thank you for sharing. 

I loved the distinction between denial and disassociation which as you point out are coping mechanisms for abusive childhoods, or horrible events that happen, it's just not optimal for coping with everyday life. Psychology never gets old for me. It saved my life, taught me what functional looks like. Yet, it isn't the only way to heal. 

As you I came out of horrendous abuse too; I am humbled to say for me, with a lot of therapy and inner work ( thanks to a grandmother that not only opened her home and heart to me, but had the common sense to use resources and encourage me to do the same). I live a "normal" life, filled with the love. 

For me, being human and celebrating it has been the gift, all of it. 

I can trust in myself and the wisdom of my own biology. 

This led to peace, I don't do anything but live my life, the ups and the downs, the irony is things tend to resolve themselves with or without me, more than anything I now have the wisdom to get out of my own way, except when I don't. 

I don't put any stock into opinions that claim only rainbows and bunnies this is a giant red flag for dysfunctional. IMHO

 

 

 

 

 

[XenoFish]

30 minutes ago, Aquila King said:

I'd personally suggest avoiding this duality concept, and instead see them both as different aspects of your overall singular personality. The more you try to divorce yourself from certain aspects of yourself, the more power you give to that 'negative' side of you.

Psychology 101 is that suppression doesn't ever solve anything.

I already know this, and I know what I am capable of. 

[+Sherapy]

6 hours ago, jmccr8 said:

An encyclopedia of history facts from the imaginary Walker files.

jmccr8

Lol, the Walker files, brilliant. I love it. 

 

[+Sherapy]

16 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

I knew that .As i explained,  I just visualised what it would mean if a person took your words literally eg if one was so desperate  that one truly had no standards in choosing a date. 

It was humorous.

  It actually had me in tears of laughter, as i though of what would happen if someone took it literally. 

(  I could envisage a scene from one of those American sit coms  where someone DID act literally on the advice.)

i realised you were not literal and i dint expect the advice to be taken literally ( It would be almost impossible for any real person to be that dumb)

My point was what could happen if it WAS taken literally.  

Not quite sure what got under sherapy's skin, and still cant see what she thinks i was suggesting, or what prejudices she thinks it demonstrates. 

No one would even think that is what X meant, or suggest it is funny to make fun or label one unworthy of love because they are homeless.

IMHO, you do come off as predujice aganst the homeless. Just my feedback. 

 

Edited May 22, 2018 by Sherapy

[XenoFish]

Just now, Sherapy said:

No one would even think that is what X meant, or suggest it is funny to make fun or label one unworthy of love because they are homeless.

IMHO, you do come off as judgmental. Just my feedback. 

 

Sister Sheri. Both you and I plus a few others really need to quit feeding the beast. We both fall into his ego feeding trap, it's a bad habit we've both got. 

[danydandan]

So are we anywhere closer to finding out what the astral realm is?