oldrover Posted July 7, 2018 #26 Share Posted July 7, 2018 Found this thread a bit scary. I read the list on the opening post and thought if I was ever to go on Plenty of fish, and honestly say what I seem to be attracted to that'd be it. It fits my most recentex down to a t. But then I read on and started to think, 'it's me, not them', I think I'm the weirdo. Seriously. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted July 8, 2018 Author #27 Share Posted July 8, 2018 22 hours ago, RabidMongoose said: You arent providing the fuel which they need to create a bonfire. Exactly! And this is our own responsibility! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Relam Posted July 8, 2018 #28 Share Posted July 8, 2018 19 hours ago, oldrover said: Found this thread a bit scary. I read the list on the opening post and thought if I was ever to go on Plenty of fish, and honestly say what I seem to be attracted to that'd be it. It fits my most recentex down to a t. But then I read on and started to think, 'it's me, not them', I think I'm the weirdo. Seriously. It's good that you recognize it, now you can change it to better. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmccr8 Posted July 10, 2018 #29 Share Posted July 10, 2018 So you don't think being blunt works? When I get some types that I prefer not to interact with I just look at them and say" why are you talking to me I thought we both knew what I think of you" stops them dead in their tracks. jmccr8 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted July 11, 2018 Author #30 Share Posted July 11, 2018 11 hours ago, jmccr8 said: So you don't think being blunt works? When I get some types that I prefer not to interact with I just look at them and say" why are you talking to me I thought we both knew what I think of you" stops them dead in their tracks. jmccr8 Each situation is different. The goal is to find the best solution 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted July 14, 2018 Author #31 Share Posted July 14, 2018 On 7/7/2018 at 12:44 PM, RabidMongoose said: Its that people cover for them. Anybody able to sustain a relationship with an ASPD (romantic, friendship, manager-employee, employee-manager) is almost certainly in a co-dependency arrangement. And co-dependents are oddballs - they let the ASPDs dictate to them their views and opinions on everything while completely believing in it. Co-dependents dont out their masters for abuse, fraud, or other crimes. They spend their lives trying to be perfect followers of the ASPD instead. People like that gives me the creeps! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Wellington Posted July 14, 2018 #32 Share Posted July 14, 2018 8 hours ago, LightAngel said: People like that gives me the creeps! I know right? And if I speak to one where I am criticising their ASPD master for some totally obvious poor behaviour I can see in the co-dependents mind that the cogs dont go around properly lol. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted July 16, 2018 Author #33 Share Posted July 16, 2018 On 4/7/2018 at 1:17 PM, ouija ouija said: Thanks for that, Light Angel. It was good to be reminded that these 'vampires' are wounded souls. This doesn't mean you have to put up with their shenanigans, you have to take care of your own soul after all, but, if we can manage them in a civil manner that must be a good thing. Yup. But if we can't manage them, then we need to be strong enough to get them out of our life! It can be very difficult when you feel empathy. I wonder if there is an easy way here?! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmccr8 Posted July 16, 2018 #34 Share Posted July 16, 2018 On 7/11/2018 at 2:22 AM, LightAngel said: Each situation is different. The goal is to find the best solution Hi Light Angel' That is true to some extent, I have lived and walked alone for most of my life although I have known and interacted with many in favorable ways. When I meet people that are controllers or think my name is Mark they get burnt pretty quick as I have no patience for social manipulators, I don't mind helping people out but if they think I am going to carry their a$$ then they have greatly underestimated who they are dealing with. jmccr8 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Wellington Posted July 16, 2018 #35 Share Posted July 16, 2018 4 hours ago, LightAngel said: Yup. But if we can't manage them, then we need to be strong enough to get them out of our life! It can be very difficult when you feel empathy. I wonder if there is an easy way here?! When you realise someone is one outside of work cut them off. Inside of work I advise ignoring them if they dont work on your team. If they do, act weak (act like a co-dependent) until you have enough to make a complaint likely to get rid of them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 17, 2018 #36 Share Posted July 17, 2018 (From my own personal experiences of disturbed and parasitical people) Most energy/emotional Vampires will in the long term require more than just their victim. They will build upon the attention aspect of their parasitic lifestyle and begin to crave this too. Playing the victim and adopting a `gang stalking` approach can often become the vampires Achilles Heel when these listeners/gang members disagree or offer their own unique view of the victim. After all, emotional vampires are control freaks - its their way or no way. So, a short lived argument often takes place - which the vampire can truly never win, and in turn leaves them feeling wounded or deflated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Wellington Posted July 17, 2018 #37 Share Posted July 17, 2018 (edited) 33 minutes ago, Mark One said: (From my own personal experiences of disturbed and parasitical people) Most energy/emotional Vampires will in the long term require more than just their victim. They will build upon the attention aspect of their parasitic lifestyle and begin to crave this too. Playing the victim and adopting a `gang stalking` approach can often become the vampires Achilles Heel when these listeners/gang members disagree or offer their own unique view of the victim. After all, emotional vampires are control freaks - its their way or no way. So, a short lived argument often takes place - which the vampire can truly never win, and in turn leaves them feeling wounded or deflated. The vampire has emotional dysregulation going on combined with aspects of narcissism. Their behaviour towards other people is how they make themselves feel better. This behaviour violates the rights and boundaries of others causing them stress, anger, and resentment. In turn, those violations make people hate and hate being around the vampire. It comes full circle back onto the vampire who usually ends up as someone with no friends (or having a limited number of co-dependent followers). The narcissism of the vampire causes them to distort and delude away their inappropriate behaviour (yes, they know how they are behaving) so that there is no moral conflict in their mind. So it never happened, it was a misunderstanding, they are actually the victim (you talk about playing victim up above), or there is some conspiracy against them. If someone starts to question that or outs them as a narcissist they usually react with character assassination, violence or anger. With co-dependents they are people who have been broken in the past by their parents. In order to survive the abuse from their parents they totally caved psychologically to them. This training activates whenever around a disordered personality and therefore they let the vampire shape and mould their reality. They do not question or allow themselves to see the obvious conflicts. They fully get onboard with the vampire instead who uses them to `gang stalk` or `group bully` the target. The vampire tells them the target is a bad person, a bully, evil, and they need to be ignored or bullied to teach them a lesson. The co-dependents dont question this even when they know it isn't true and instead execute the will of their master. With enough people on board then even ordinary people come to see the target as the problem. This is because with so many convincing co-dependents also saying the target is a nasty piece of work (co-dependents never question, stand up too, or go against their master) then ordinary people who know no different get caught up in blaming the target. Again, if you find yourself working with one of these people its best to play along. Act like a co-dependent. Gather evidence (like recordings of them lying about a target and then instructing people who they think are co-dependents to ignore, harass, and bully them) and then give it to HR. Play along until you have what you need to successfully destroy them. And also, when you do it, dont forget to explain how those people work using the above. Edited July 17, 2018 by RabidMongoose 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 17, 2018 #38 Share Posted July 17, 2018 The truly horrid thing about such vampires is how their seemingly endless abuse can lead the victim into meltdown, breakdowns or worse. And if this occurs, they take great delight in feigning sympathy to make themselves appear like good Samaritans. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted July 20, 2018 Author #39 Share Posted July 20, 2018 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robotic Jew Posted July 20, 2018 #40 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Another word for emotional vampires is....HUMANS 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Sherapy Posted July 20, 2018 #41 Share Posted July 20, 2018 On 7/16/2018 at 2:50 AM, LightAngel said: Yup. But if we can't manage them, then we need to be strong enough to get them out of our life! It can be very difficult when you feel empathy. I wonder if there is an easy way here?! IMHO, I agree, to end the abuse is always a good thing. Approach is another thing entirely. I think if one can end a bad situation civilly great, but if not then it is what it is. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 20, 2018 #42 Share Posted July 20, 2018 10 hours ago, LightAngel said: We have some neighbors down the road who match that description. And the irony is their surname which is something you would associate with the church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 20, 2018 #43 Share Posted July 20, 2018 2 hours ago, Robotic Jew said: Another word for emotional vampires is....HUMANS ...Without souls. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robotic Jew Posted July 20, 2018 #44 Share Posted July 20, 2018 15 minutes ago, Mark One said: ...Without souls. Well duh....souls don't exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 20, 2018 #45 Share Posted July 20, 2018 12 minutes ago, Robotic Jew said: Well duh....souls don't exist. I rest my case 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted July 21, 2018 Author #46 Share Posted July 21, 2018 9 hours ago, Sherapy said: IMHO, I agree, to end the abuse is always a good thing. Approach is another thing entirely. I think if one can end a bad situation civilly great, but if not then it is what it is. Yes, we must be willing to do whatever it takes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted July 21, 2018 Author #47 Share Posted July 21, 2018 13 hours ago, Mark One said: ...Without souls. Well, a psychopath's brain is different in function and structure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted July 22, 2018 Author #48 Share Posted July 22, 2018 On 14/7/2018 at 7:45 PM, RabidMongoose said: I know right? And if I speak to one where I am criticising their ASPD master for some totally obvious poor behaviour I can see in the co-dependents mind that the cogs dont go around properly lol. There is a lot to discuss about codependency. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Wellington Posted July 22, 2018 #49 Share Posted July 22, 2018 2 hours ago, LightAngel said: There is a lot to discuss about codependency. I think its a conditioned response from having been broken down by their parents in childhood. In order to cease the distress they not only caved to the parent, they totally psychologically caved to them too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAngel Posted July 25, 2018 Author #50 Share Posted July 25, 2018 On 22/7/2018 at 11:47 AM, RabidMongoose said: I think its a conditioned response from having been broken down by their parents in childhood. In order to cease the distress they not only caved to the parent, they totally psychologically caved to them too. It's so important for a child to form a healthy emotional bond with their parents because that's how children know that they are loved, and that they are good enough just the way they are. If children don't bond in a healthy way with their parents, then it can make them feel unworthy and unloved. Codependent personalities seek outside validation because they lack self-love. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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