Mark One Posted July 8, 2018 #1 Share Posted July 8, 2018 (edited) The annual Unexplained Mysteries Food Fight is upon us again. Who will be the last person standing? What will be your most effective means of removing the opposition? To participate you must target the owner of the last post (above you) with your choice of food. Every attack earns you one UM Dollar, gain an extra 3 UM Dollars for a crafty quoted assault too. After (or before) you have carried out your attack you must describe a brief scenario* associated with your target. EXAMPLE: Mark One posts below another member (i.e. SpaceHamster52) SpaceHamster52 was brought down effectively with a well aimed lettuce. In the aftermath, SpaceHamster52 found his domino game was now in tatters. * Fictional Edited July 8, 2018 by Mark One 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted July 8, 2018 #2 Share Posted July 8, 2018 I hurled a copper-bottomed pan of pug stew at Mark. This devastated him on two fronts: physically, the sheer weight of the pan knocked him flat, the lid came off and he was consequently covered in boiling stew; emotionally, he was absolutely devastated from the knowledge that his second favourite animal in the world had been made into a stew. 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted July 8, 2018 #3 Share Posted July 8, 2018 I dropped a skip full of marshmellows over ouija, but much to my dismay, instead of scrambling her way out, she ate herself out. I guess she may have won that one. 2 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 8, 2018 #4 Share Posted July 8, 2018 10 minutes ago, freetoroam said: I dropped a skip full of marshmellows over ouija, but much to my dismay, instead of scrambling her way out, she ate herself out. I guess she may have won that one. I smacked @freetoroam overboard with a roadkill deer before butchering it and then threw it on top of @ouija ouija who fainted. Then when she woke dug a 5 kl tunnel to get away. 1 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 8, 2018 Author #5 Share Posted July 8, 2018 43 minutes ago, Piney said: I smacked @freetoroam overboard with a roadkill deer before butchering it and then threw it on top of @ouija ouija who fainted. Then when she woke dug a 5 kl tunnel to get away. Congrats so far go to Piney, who has earned $2 for taking out the two ladies and a $3 bonus for the quote. I like your style mate 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted July 8, 2018 #6 Share Posted July 8, 2018 (edited) I threw a homemade pound cake (which weighed several pounds) at @Piney, who with lightning quick reflexes deflected it, causing it to bounce off of @freetoroam' s head and hit @Mark One in the shin, making both fall to the ground in pain before landing on poor @ouija ouija and knocking her flat once again..... Edited July 8, 2018 by tcgram 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 8, 2018 #7 Share Posted July 8, 2018 28 minutes ago, tcgram said: I threw a homemade pound cake (which weighed several pounds) at @Piney, who with lightning quick reflexes deflected it, causing it to bounce off of @freetoroam' s head and hit @Mark One in the shin, making both fall to the ground in pain before landing on poor @ouija ouija and knocking her flat once again..... @ouija ouija is getting the crappy end on this one...........Somebody whack @acute with something. I'm all outta roadkill! 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 8, 2018 Author #8 Share Posted July 8, 2018 LIVE SCORES UPDATE Piney: 10 UM Dollars tcgram: 7 UM Dollars Ouija: 1...*yawn* Freetoroam: 1...*pathetic* Well it does indeed seem that our cousins across the pond sure do know how to throw a good bit of nosebag. And dont forget folks that only 100 UM Dollars gives you a meat hamper...*yippee* 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 8, 2018 Author #9 Share Posted July 8, 2018 24 minutes ago, Piney said: @ouija ouija is getting the crappy end on this one...........Somebody whack @acute with something. I'm all outta roadkill! I`m going to jump in here and deliver my secret weapon. I tossed a full untouched disc of Gorgonzola cheese into Pineys lap which took his breath away and soon saw him twitching in the middle of road. I then reclaimed the said cheese and rolled it over Acute 1 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted July 8, 2018 #10 Share Posted July 8, 2018 1.. is that all i got!!! Do you know how much i spent in all that marshmellow!!! And now i got a blooming headache , do not know what happened but something bounced off my head. I want a review of these scores, there is a conspiracy going on and i am offended (yes! Love that word) and i got whiplash and stuff. This is war. @ouija ouija pass the clotted cream, yorkshire puddings and bring out the Lancashire hotpot, we are not going to let them beat us. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 8, 2018 #11 Share Posted July 8, 2018 Step aside Freetoroam, I've got a bucket full of rocky mountain oysters and a catapult aimed at the gentlemen. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 8, 2018 #12 Share Posted July 8, 2018 31 minutes ago, Kittens Are Jerks said: Step aside Freetoroam, I've got a bucket full of rocky mountain oysters and a catapult aimed at the gentlemen. I never ate those things. Drove the calf up into a stock trailer. Closed the bottom doors. Sliced them out and threw them right over my shoulder into the driveway. Should of kept them for something to throw..... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 8, 2018 #13 Share Posted July 8, 2018 3 minutes ago, Piney said: I never ate those things. Drove the calf up into a stock trailer. Closed the bottom doors. Sliced them out and threw them right over my shoulder into the driveway. Should of kept them for something to throw..... Now that you're standing there empty handed and defenseless, I've got some Korean street food to toss your way. Duck tongue lashing, followed by a blood soup bath, topped off with smooshed up silkworm larvae and live spoon worms. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 8, 2018 #14 Share Posted July 8, 2018 14 minutes ago, Kittens Are Jerks said: Now that you're standing there empty handed and defenseless, I've got some Korean street food to toss your way. I get a rash when I handle spam and cabbage...... 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 8, 2018 #15 Share Posted July 8, 2018 I just made a cat-o-nine-tails with veggie burgers so @ouija ouija can smack @acute 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted July 8, 2018 #16 Share Posted July 8, 2018 While @Piney was momentarily distracted, I threw some overcooked biscuits (those things are like hockey pucks), hitting him in the shoulder and temporarily knocking him to the ground. @ouija ouija grabbed a couple of them and got me in the upper arm and stomach, causing welts. I had to grab one of @freetoroam's pots to protect myself!! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 8, 2018 #17 Share Posted July 8, 2018 2 minutes ago, tcgram said: While @Piney was momentarily distracted, I threw some overcooked biscuits (those things are like hockey pucks), hitting him in the shoulder and temporarily knocking him to the ground. @ouija ouija grabbed a couple of them and got me in the upper arm and stomach, causing welts. I had to grab one of @freetoroam's pots to protect myself!! But I have my sister's gluten free pumpkin bread (Which taste like dry sand going in and feels like wet sand coming out) and broke it up behind you giving you a beach sprain so you missed. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 8, 2018 Author #18 Share Posted July 8, 2018 People, people! Can`t we all just learn to live with each other? Tut-tut... With that distraction I threw a french stick at Piney that had a finely chiseled carrot shoved into the front of it. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted July 8, 2018 #19 Share Posted July 8, 2018 1 hour ago, Piney said: I get a rash when I handle spam and cabbage...... Is that what they eat in korea on the streets, spam and cabbage? So sad you get a rash from it, how inconvinient for you. Note to self: to win this, make a big spam and cabbage stew, spam and cabbage sandwiches, and for really food fight effect to get them points...blended spam and cabbage for the squirty bottles. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted July 8, 2018 #20 Share Posted July 8, 2018 5 minutes ago, Mark One said: People, people! Can`t we all just learn to live with each other? Tut-tut... With that distraction I threw a french stick at Piney that had a finely chiseled carrot shoved into the front of it. Oh stop reffing us, i am dollars behind and do not intent to lose. You started this war and we are going to finish it in flying colours..sorry, meant flying food. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 8, 2018 Author #21 Share Posted July 8, 2018 1 minute ago, freetoroam said: Oh stop reffing us, i am dollars behind and do not intent to lose. You started this war and we are going to finish it in flying colours..sorry, meant flying food. Well you better get your wotsit moving and start using pizzas as a frizbee or summit. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted July 8, 2018 #22 Share Posted July 8, 2018 2 minutes ago, Mark One said: Well you better get your wotsit moving and start using pizzas as a frizbee or summit. Why is the prize in dollars? That is national-ism-istic-ism.itation and offensive. Can you change it to pounds...incase i win. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 8, 2018 Author #23 Share Posted July 8, 2018 31 minutes ago, freetoroam said: Why is the prize in dollars? That is national-ism-istic-ism.itation and offensive. Can you change it to pounds...incase i win. Fair point luv. So, thats 1 UM Dollar over there and 2 UK pounds over here. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 8, 2018 #24 Share Posted July 8, 2018 12 minutes ago, Mark One said: Fair point luv. So, thats 1 UM Dollar over there and 2 UK pounds over here. Excuse me, but where are my cash points? I brought exotic street food to this fight AND a catapult. That's got be worth at least five bucks, maybe ten. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 8, 2018 Author #25 Share Posted July 8, 2018 8 minutes ago, Kittens Are Jerks said: Excuse me, but where are my cash points? I brought exotic street food to this fight AND a catapult. That's got be worth at least five bucks, maybe ten. What...one successful attack on Piney...whoopie doo...So that all adds up to 1 UM Dollar. If you want my advice Kittens, get yourself down the supermarket and fill a trolley, fast. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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