Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 13, 2018 #51 Share Posted July 13, 2018 10 hours ago, Mark One said: So anyway whilst Kittens and Piney decided to self destruct via the dangerous medium known locally as milk, I deducted 1 UM dollar each for violating the rules. I then emptied two bins of greasy left overs from Big Jims roadside cafe, over the top of them both. Look at you dishing bins of greasy leftovers with a side of revisionist history. Piney and YOU chose to self-destruct via milk, not me. So by all means deduct one UM dollar from PIney, but deduct two UM dollars from yourself. You should also deduct a UM dollar from Ouija because (1) she mocked my celery, and (2) she doesn't know how to food fight either. Here's my proof: 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 13, 2018 #52 Share Posted July 13, 2018 10 hours ago, Piney said: Did you ever notice that most videos of people doing dumb things and hurting themselves are white people? Did you mean to write white men? Because that I would agree with. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 14, 2018 Author #53 Share Posted July 14, 2018 22 hours ago, Piney said: Did you ever notice that most videos of people doing dumb things and hurting themselves are white people? Well as they say: No pain, no gain. A dried up bloomer (un-cut loaf) bounces off of Pineys bonce. (head) 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted July 14, 2018 #54 Share Posted July 14, 2018 On 12/07/2018 at 12:32 AM, Piney said: ALLRIGHT! YOU CLOWNS ARE TURNING INTO FOOD ZOMBIES! TIME FOR THE REAL DEAL!.......... Well ................. that escalated quickly! Switch those things on and defend yourselves against the sacks of potatoes I am tipping on you from a great height. (With a bit of luck the result will be chips we can fry up later! ) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 14, 2018 Author #55 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Well, I was aiming to empty my plateful of Chinese takeaway all down the front of Ouija when I suddenly saw the light. As I zoned out opened mouth style and stared at the wonderful dish on the kitchen table, I began to soften and experience the wondrous feelings of love. Why should we continue to fight, I asked myself? What does a food war create if not misery and mess... So as I heartily tucked into my noodles, I thought - stuff the aggression and lets have peace for 10 minutes whilst I finish my meal. Peace people! Ive seen the light and its called unification. Oh, and it has nothing to do with the fact that the takeaway cost £24 and I was feeling hungry...honest. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 14, 2018 #56 Share Posted July 14, 2018 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 15, 2018 #57 Share Posted July 15, 2018 14 hours ago, ouija ouija said: Switch those things on and defend yourselves against the sacks of potatoes I am tipping on you from a great height. (With a bit of luck the result will be chips we can fry up later! ) *Sends youngest grandgoober in who starts bombing @ouija ouija with spicy raw tuna, wasabi and Star Wars fruit snacks* *Smacks her in the head with stick of string cheese as a coup de gras* 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daughter of the Nine Moons Posted July 15, 2018 #58 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Ahem...Piney. *pours blueberry pancake batter all over Piney* 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 15, 2018 #59 Share Posted July 15, 2018 20 minutes ago, Daughter of the Nine Moons said: Ahem...Piney. *pours blueberry pancake batter all over Piney* Cranberries and blueberries....That's like kryptonite! Gods, I was surrounded by those nasty things! ........... 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 15, 2018 #60 Share Posted July 15, 2018 14 hours ago, Mark One said: Peace people! Ive seen the light and its called unification. What do the bloody Moonies have to do with a food fight? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 15, 2018 #61 Share Posted July 15, 2018 @Piney Once Piney's pancake blindfold was in place, he faced a Canadian firing squad armed with water guns filled with maple syrup. He later received an apology. @Daughter of the Nine Moons Daughter of the Nine Moons would have made a clean getaway had she not slipped on a puddle of poutine. Then suddenly, and without warning, the strange and unexplained phenomenon of raining Timbits was upon her. As the Timbits hurled towards her out of nowhere, she shouted.... 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 15, 2018 Author #62 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Whoops...didnt you see the wet floor cones not far from that dodgy shelf and its bucket of chocolate and twiglets. Ah well, you`ll laugh about it one day. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 15, 2018 #63 Share Posted July 15, 2018 *Borrows the church trebuchet off of boss* *Fills it up with roadkill from 3 major shore routes* *Dumps 55 gallon barrel of mayo meant for Wing Bowl on it* *Carpet bombs everybody* 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 15, 2018 #64 Share Posted July 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Mark One said: Whoops...didnt you see the wet floor cones not far from that dodgy shelf and its bucket of chocolate and twiglets. Ah well, you`ll laugh about it one day. I will never eat a Cheeto again.......... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted July 15, 2018 #65 Share Posted July 15, 2018 *Dodges a carcass and wipes mayo out of eyes* Now that I can see, *Catapults green jello, oatmeal that has been sitting for 2 days and stale bread @Piney, who....dang it, grabs a loaf of said bread and defends himself, knocking the disgusting mess into @Kittens Are Jerks hair, where it is then flung toward @Mark One, who is still slurping his noodles. And we're all still standing.....how did THAT happen?? 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piney Posted July 15, 2018 #66 Share Posted July 15, 2018 7 minutes ago, tcgram said: And we're all still standing.....how did THAT happen?? Haven't a clue. I've had a 9 year old most of the week and I'm wondering why I'm still standing period. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted July 15, 2018 #67 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Just now, Piney said: Haven't a clue. I've had a 9 year old most of the week and I'm wondering why I'm still standing period. That's a good question!! We forget too quickly just how much energy they can have. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 15, 2018 Author #68 Share Posted July 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Piney said: *Borrows the church trebuchet off of boss* *Fills it up with roadkill from 3 major shore routes* *Dumps 55 gallon barrel of mayo meant for Wing Bowl on it* *Carpet bombs everybody* *hidden voice* *somewhere on Pineys front garden* "...What is it with you and road kill, Bob? Haven't you ever heard of the humble cheese sandwich or an innocent Apricot?.." Before Piney could answer I popped up out of his wheely bin and covered him in shrimp and also the gooey muck that comes with it. After he fled into his house to clean himself off, I raced up to open window with a suit case. 158 tiny, starving red crabs where then taken out of the case and offered into his house via the opened window. Have fun mate 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 15, 2018 #69 Share Posted July 15, 2018 4 hours ago, tcgram said: *Dodges a carcass and wipes mayo out of eyes* Now that I can see, *Catapults green jello, oatmeal that has been sitting for 2 days and stale bread @Piney, who....dang it, grabs a loaf of said bread and defends himself, knocking the disgusting mess into @Kittens Are Jerks hair, where it is then flung toward @Mark One, who is still slurping his noodles. And we're all still standing.....how did THAT happen?? Hey you're supposed to be in recovery, not attack, mode. No more food fights for you! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 15, 2018 #70 Share Posted July 15, 2018 @Mark One You wear it well. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 17, 2018 #71 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Where is everyone? Poor Ouija is here playing food fight all alone. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark One Posted July 17, 2018 Author #72 Share Posted July 17, 2018 I`m doing the lot of you with flan. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 19, 2018 #73 Share Posted July 19, 2018 And then there were none. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tcgram Posted July 27, 2018 #74 Share Posted July 27, 2018 *Flings a whole roasted chicken @Kittens Are Jerks in the back, knocking her to the ground. She then grabs a chicken leg and pokes @Mark One in the eye, making him slide around on the whipped cream, knocking @Piney off his feet and both sliding into @ouija ouija and @Daughter of the Nine Moons who in turn stand their ground and throw grilled cheese sandwiches (where DO they get this stuff?) at me, making welts on my arms and legs from the melting cheese, dropping me to my knees. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittens Are Jerks Posted July 28, 2018 #75 Share Posted July 28, 2018 What were you all expecting? Fancy hors d'oeuvres? Not at this joint! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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