Jump to content
Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -

Prepare to groan


Stiff

Recommended Posts

My wife said that if I don't get off my computer she'll slam my head on the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Matt221 said:

About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast

Post #7 - Keep up at the back Cop1.gif

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My wife woke up with a massive smile on her face this morning.

I love felt tip pens.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you get sent a link for constipation.com, don't go there.
I couldn't log out for hours.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Little Red riding hood has been found by a member of the public, unconscious and in a critical condition. 

Paramedics have stabilised her condition and the Air Ambulance is in attendance. 

However, I must stress, she is not out of the woods yet.

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was attacked by a group of mime artists.

They did unspeakable things to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Everyone is so interested in my dog as he can do magic tricks.
He's not a cross breed.
He's a Labracadabrador.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that...

Edited by Matt221
c*** up
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious 

 And finally 

I would like to thank all those people who explained the word"Many".....it means alot

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My wife told me, "Sex is better on holiday!"


Not the best postcard I've ever received.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A woman says to the dentist "I don't know which is worse having a tooth pulled or having a Baby." The dentist says "Well make up your mind I gotta adjust the chair!"

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I saw a sign that said "Watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 27 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've just bought some shoes off a drug dealer.

I don't know what he's laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

 
 
 
15
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A good rule of thumb is to never hire a magician with a wife with no legs

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I got myself into this, and I'll get myself even deeper into this

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I went into one of places that sell breakfast at anytime so I asked for French toast during the french Renaissance

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I bought a dog from a blacksmith the other day.

Soon as I got it home, it made a bolt for the door.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Had an argument with the wife the other night. I was adamant I could build a car out of spaghetti. She said it was impossible.
You should've seen her face when I drove pasta.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.