kids see ghosts

[lovemeplease]

this thread is about my deja vu, that just happened to **** me up a little extra.
(oh yeah, my third eye is; dreams) i hope you believe too!

aight, I don't normally write on forums-- if anything, this is my first one. 
to catch you up with what happened to me, i just want tell you things about myself, i dream a lot and when i do, it tends to happen. i mean, i have dreams and premonitions about my own life. 
listen, i can have a dream about a school i've never seen before, and years down the road i'm driving past-- looking at my new highschool, matching every detail to my dream. i'll leave that at there.

lately, i've been overwhelmed with all my emotions cos' recovery from a heartbreak and losing love i thought would last me forever, would bring me to my knees to THE most high himself. 
i just went through a process of praying wholeheartedly, kept my eyes(3) open to all seen and the unseen, and when i say unseen, i mean opportunities presenting themselves, noticing symbols more frequently, taking the strange noises that happen in my kitchen seriously (the sounds of 1sec bangs happens almost every night, religiously), i started to take interest in researching demons and found myself in a rabbit hole within that. i made sacrifices-- probably no value to you, but to me it was. i quit smoking (weed too), drinking, my own sloth behaviour, i corrected.  i started to make sure i slept properly, now at night instead of sleeping in the morning. 

you could say, i became spiritually high, bluntly speaking. i felt moved by things that happened in my life and all kindness that was given to me was amplified by x2. i started picking up all my dreams & aspirations again, worked on that and even gained a small 1700+ following doing it, in such short time too! (2 months.) to compliment those dreams, i fell my way into a training course for civil construction, preparing myself to build my empire i say. i started to become closer with my family more, read and write more, get myself back into my drawing and art, filmed & took photos when and where i could, quit facebook (ew!) started to go *outside* more, i was picking my young-self up and finally getting to that age in life where it's time to grow from my highschool love, and everything i held dear from my childhood. 

now the reason why i probably wasted your time to tell you about myself, was mainly to get you into focus at where my mind is right now and how close i am to the other side because of it, as i am starting to make out how to kinda like... get in touch with the other side or just to feel the other side rather. 

i once dreamt of myself feeling like i am moving forward, and in this dream it was the peak of me GETTING OVER all that bull**** i had gone through the past 8 months of this year.
this dream occurred to me.  
it happened to me, that dream. it happened to me last night 11PM/00AM. i had got high, and i know, i know. drugs, wow! but listen, it helps only because everytime i smoke weed; i see dreams from the past play it out right in front of me. (queue the sceptics to leave now hehe) but if you still believe in what i have to say then... i smoked one cone/bowl whatever you call it, i was feeling myself, i was going through my mind how proud i was of myself and telling myself 'I came so far.' the room was filled with smiles and warmness EVEN in this winter. (australia: winter/autumn right now) but, as i was editing my social media page and figuring out where i am going to brand myself next; i decided to play a song and when i played that song 'reborn- kanye west, ft. kid cudi.' it hit. i was in shock, i was seeing myself from before but it was happening to me now, i was moving so slowly, like in complete soul-shocked type **** and these ****ing visions were filling my head. from the start of my accident where i nearly had died, (i was on life support and i was suffering from craniectomy) to falling in love, havin' an unborn child, my father having another child with someone else, to my older brother getting kicked out, losing my love, it just all happened in my head, and as fast as those thoughts rushing around in my head, i felt myself slowly lose conscious as if i'm about to die. and the flick showing in my head was just visions of all my failures. (within the recent years 18-20present)
i felt a force push me down and my will to live was fading, i was losing all of my strength, like all of a sudden; i just want to die right here, make my heart stop right then and there. i actually believed that, but as the song continued, i started to shout 'life' in my head, then i was telling this other voice in my head, that

'NO! I have done good'

and forced memories of all the strife i overcame, i started to softly but weakly chant life and i couldn't stop. i was chanting it, over and over. i got louder and louder. i was uncontrollably grunting 'life' i started to shape up in a fight stance and i was preparing myself for war. it was like a ritual whatever was happening to me, but the immense feeling of evil and good was with me last night. they were the only two things i could feel. 
listen, when i figured out how to stop myself get taken over by whatever it was that was trying to make me feel like i want to die, i snapped out of it and came back inside-- the after affects to what had happened put me at a spiritual level of being vulnerable, so i decided to draw while listen to some music and as i was drawing, i realised i can draw. LIKE. IT IMPROVED, my style was straight, i wasn't shaking, when i started to sing, i was singing a song about love and my voice was GOOD, i was rhyming it too-- i don't know how but, i knew the lyrics to a song i never heard or anything in my life, but i sang. it made me feel strange, so i went to go get something to eat and when i did.. that's when this happened to me. 
i was just looking into my window and looking into the tinted reflection, saw myself. i started to just shadow box myself as i waited for my kettle for my coffee, but i was throwing and punching my hands, knees too. but i kept going, and going.. i found myself trapped and my mind was just blank of violence, out of breathe at around 2AM i was just fighting the air and as i was losing my conscious i found myself mounting someone, on my knees and just seeing myself smash and bash someone's face in, i could visualise blood and a face all squashed in, i felt like i got off that person and slumped myself on the wall next to my kitchen bin, trying to catch my breath and i regained control of myself shouting for help saying i killed someone. then i was just muttering the words, save me-- i'm not from here, i've seen myself kill someone. i couldn't sleep at all, until i saw the sun. and when the sun came, i still couldn't be under it's light. 

the moral of my story, i truly believe that we are all fuelled by some kinda energy, and if you do enough deeds in your life, something or someone is bound to take interest in you, and when enough of those beings are interested in you, it becomes easier to see. like when a killer murders, they're cursed to remember their first murder for life or when you apply yourself to self-sacrifice you might be a candidate to a higher power, and if you self-preserve for too long, notice the greed will call more than you can handle. 
i think, that there are substances out there that can take the mind to a spiritual level. even if people are afraid to admit that, cos what i do know?

my dreams can see the future, can yours?
 
p.s
bad trip? or are my premonitions getting worse? 

  

[Davros of Skaro]

Oh boy!?

Have you heard the good news of the Holy Dopamine Ghost? 

 

[Emma_Acid]

This feels better suited to a blog.

[Podo]

On 8/5/2018 at 1:19 PM, lovemeplease said:

the moral of my story, i truly believe that we are all fuelled by some kinda energy, and if you do enough deeds in your life, something or someone is bound to take interest in you, and when enough of those beings are interested in you, it becomes easier to see. like when a killer murders, they're cursed to remember their first murder for life or when you apply yourself to self-sacrifice you might be a candidate to a higher power, and if you self-preserve for too long, notice the greed will call more than you can handle. 
i think, that there are substances out there that can take the mind to a spiritual level. even if people are afraid to admit that, cos what i do know?

Or you can just understand that things affect other things and not mystify everything with unnecessary woo.

[lovemeplease]

Then how will ever learn magic? I don't want to walk like a sheep. I understand all things, before anything else I know that I am human, unnecessary to you, yes! but you are not me, and you never will be, like I will never experience a second of your life, you've just experienced years of mine. This is all bigger than me, and what I do is not for me, when I wrote this forum/blog. I was lost, but here now? I continued to walk my path and I return to tell you, that the fact I mystify my life occurrences, I am now returning to my home land to study my tatau (tattoos) I am prepared to walk into the 7000+ years of Hell, I walked this path faithfully, and no surprises I found my skeptic, thank you. bless you, I hope one day you will believe in not just me, but the fact that everything around you; serves you as it does me, maybe I'll be back few months later, thank you everyone who taken the time to hear me vent, I know that I am only a man, but I promise, this is not the end you will hear from me.

[Davros of Skaro]

[XenoFish]

3 hours ago, lovemeplease said:

Then how will ever learn magic? I don't want to walk like a sheep. I understand all things, before anything else I know that I am human, unnecessary to you, yes! but you are not me, and you never will be, like I will never experience a second of your life, you've just experienced years of mine. This is all bigger than me, and what I do is not for me, when I wrote this forum/blog. I was lost, but here now? I continued to walk my path and I return to tell you, that the fact I mystify my life occurrences, I am now returning to my home land to study my tatau (tattoos) I am prepared to walk into the 7000+ years of Hell, I walked this path faithfully, and no surprises I found my skeptic, thank you. bless you, I hope one day you will believe in not just me, but the fact that everything around you; serves you as it does me, maybe I'll be back few months later, thank you everyone who taken the time to hear me vent, I know that I am only a man, but I promise, this is not the end you will hear from me.

Magick is all about creating a change in consciousness. It is only through action or lack of that external things change. 

[Piney]

On 8/5/2018 at 4:19 PM, lovemeplease said:

bad trip? or are my premonitions getting worse? 

The future is ever changing. You make your own future through your "focus" and "power of intention". There are no such thing as a sacred item, chant or song. They are all "focusing tools". I'm at work so I can't really get into details.

Learn to clear your mind and relax on command. That's the first and most important step. Second, nothing in the supernatural world can hurt you unless YOU let it. 

[spartan max2]

Sounds like a trip to me , but hey if it helps you put then more power to yah.

Just don't have a trio thst convinces you to do something hurtful to people.