Soccergirl13 Posted September 12, 2018 Author #26 Share Posted September 12, 2018 I know these stories are not new. They just never happened to me nore anyone else I know. You read it on the Internet and think how in this day and age someone can just completely drop you. And here I am. We work together on a ship. Hence living together. He went home on vacation. Never came back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soccergirl13 Posted September 12, 2018 Author #27 Share Posted September 12, 2018 2 minutes ago, Imaginarynumber1 said: Certainly worth questioning just what happened, but again, if you want the truth, no physic is going to be able to help you. Oh sure, they'll lie and say he meet someone else or make up some other such nonsense. One of them might even be right, but only because of a lucky guess. I understand the need to know what happened, but you're better spending that energy on moving on or someone else entirely. I know that. And I tried. But after one week of not sleeping at all and actually thinking the worst of the worst in the first days until we found out he is alive I thought I'd give a psychic a shot. Even if they lie. As long as it was convincing enough and matched what I do know ..well from the past anyway. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freetoroam Posted September 12, 2018 #28 Share Posted September 12, 2018 1 minute ago, Soccergirl13 said: I know these stories are not new. They just never happened to me nore anyone else I know. You read it on the Internet and think how in this day and age someone can just completely drop you. And here I am. We work together on a ship. Hence living together. He went home on vacation. Never came back. On a ship? So it was not a long term relationship. Sorry but it seems you were handy for him while he was working on the ship. Did you lend him any money? Did you know him before you met him on the ship? The guy has done his bit at sea with a bit of fun while away and has now gone home to move on to his next lifes chapter, which is what you need to do. If you lent him money or are pregnant, then you do not need a psychic, you need a private investigator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imaginarynumber1 Posted September 12, 2018 #29 Share Posted September 12, 2018 1 minute ago, Soccergirl13 said: I know that. And I tried. But after one week of not sleeping at all and actually thinking the worst of the worst in the first days until we found out he is alive I thought I'd give a psychic a shot. Even if they lie. As long as it was convincing enough and matched what I do know ..well from the past anyway. I get it. I've been in an almost similar situation. I'm speaking from experience here when I say sometimes it's better not to know and just move on. But if a "psyhic" comes by and tells you what you want to hear, no harm in letting that settle things for you, I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davros of Skaro Posted September 12, 2018 #30 Share Posted September 12, 2018 3 minutes ago, Soccergirl13 said: I know that. And I tried. But after one week of not sleeping at all and actually thinking the worst of the worst in the first days until we found out he is alive I thought I'd give a psychic a shot. Even if they lie. As long as it was convincing enough and matched what I do know ..well from the past anyway. He went on to the arranged marriage his parents set up. He did not want to disappoint his family, and the hard break from you made it easier. Move on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ouija ouija Posted September 12, 2018 #31 Share Posted September 12, 2018 Some questions never get answered and you just have to live with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Not A Rockstar Posted September 12, 2018 #32 Share Posted September 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Soccergirl13 said: I know everyone is saying time will heal all the wounds. But this is a person who I've open up to more than anybody else in my life before. He knows what I've been through and he was patient . He knew I have trust issues because of my past and yet I finally thought I found someone that will make me happy. Something I thought was impossible. And here I am with so many unanswered questions from the one person I trusted. It just hurts Man, this is a painful experience for you to deal with. My concern is for you, to not take this pain as some sort of validation of your lack of worth, but that he could not deal with your level of need. You said "I finally thought I found someone that will make me happy", and this reveals you need to learn one thing well before you try again, Soccergirl13. It is too much to ask of anyone to "make you happy." You need to learn how to be happy within yourself and realize that nobody can make anyone else happy. You need to carry that with you and together you can find moments shared which enhances that, when both people in the relationship take responsibility for their own emotional needs. Easy to say and hard to do at first while you are young and learning, but, without this lesson learned well, you will always be a victim out there looking for something you never learned how to generate for yourself - happiness, emotional maturity, the ability to be half the whole team effort. You can be better than that. I believe you can. He couldn't handle it is all. Keep growing, keep learning, and work at being happy on your own, find hobbies or a volunteer effort that you enjoy - perhaps at an animal shelter? Just work on friends and learning how to be more positive and before you know it, he'll be history and someone far better for you will be in sight. JMO. You are alright, it is not your fault, you are just emotionally young and hurt right now, and there really is better ahead for you if you lift your head and live for yourself and your own happiness for a while. It takes a few tries, sometimes, to get it right, and some maturity to stop allowing our past dramas to be the focus of today and listen more to the other person.. Best wishes, 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John from Lowell Posted September 12, 2018 #33 Share Posted September 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Soccergirl13 said: I know that. And I tried. But after one week of not sleeping at all and actually thinking the worst of the worst in the first days until we found out he is alive I thought I'd give a psychic a shot. Even if they lie. As long as it was convincing enough and matched what I do know ..well from the past anyway. The issue with psychic readings is that a reader will give you their impressions. I can do that. Any one can actually. Even some one who has no psychic inclinations. My impressions on this is that what you shared with him about yourself overwealmed him. He could not deal with that level of emotional intensity. I suspect that if you go over those sharing times with him in your recollections, you will notice/remember how he responded to what you told him. Keep in mind that being with him like you were on a ship did not make it easy for him to do any thing but accept what you shared with him. Once he was on that vacation he was able to reconsider his involvment with you. That was when he chose to disappear like he has. I hope you will find these insights I have helpful. John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+joc Posted September 12, 2018 #34 Share Posted September 12, 2018 (edited) 3 hours ago, Soccergirl13 said: I've open up to more than anybody else in my life before Lessons to learn... Never fully open up to anyone Not everyone can handle the truth you lay on them Hold your past like a good hand of cards...close to your chest...if you need to get something off your chest...pay an independent and non biased therapist. If you get ghosted...take that as the 'sorry, can't handle it' that it actually is and get over it. Only the truly insecure want to find ghosts for answers. Edited September 12, 2018 by joc 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xYlvax Posted September 12, 2018 #35 Share Posted September 12, 2018 Move on. You will find someone worth your time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spartan max2 Posted September 12, 2018 #36 Share Posted September 12, 2018 You have all the answers. He wanted to leave and he didn't say anything because it was easier to do then it would of been to tell you. I have been broke up with and the breaker upper. There is no use asking why someone no longer loves you, it just happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rlyeh Posted September 12, 2018 #37 Share Posted September 12, 2018 3 hours ago, seanjo said: What does "ghosted" mean in this context...I'm old... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghosting_(relationships) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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