Help with a recurring dream interpretation?

[AJF2018]

About me -
I'm an almost 30 year old man with a partner of 3 years and two children (one 6 year old boy from a previous relationship and one one year old girl from this). I have never been a particularly spiritual person and have never given much thought to the more spiritual side of life and though I do believe in a higher power than ourselves, I have no idea what that higher power is or could be. I work as a paramedic which keeps me extremely busy and so I spend most of my life either working or at home with my family.
I keep my friendship groups very small. I tend to keep around 5 or 6 very close friends and then many people I would call more acquaintances than friends.
I would not say that I am depressed person though throughout my life I have suffered bouts of depression. I was left by my parents (though my father later returned) at a very young age and was therefore brought up by my grandmother and grandfather (which was awesome!). I had a very happy childhood and now I am trying to make my children's childhood just as happy.
When I dream (or remember my dreams) I tend to have a variety of recurrent dreams. Either the same dream over and again over a period of time (days to years) or I shall have a dream that carries on for 3 or 4 nights in a row (not unlike a television soap unfolding).
Anyway one specific dream really has got me curious. I have had this dream at random intervals  over the past 2/3 years and I would say i have had it around 20/30 times. Occasionally  the early part will be ever so slightly different in terms  of what people are wearing  etc... but it always ends the same way and I can always tell that that is where the dream is heading. Anyway here it is and thank you for reading.

The dream
Always the same. It's a boys night out with 5 or 6 guys (2 of whom ar very close friends while the rest are acquaintances. One of the friends and I had a falling out a long time ago however we've been friends again for 2/3 years). We start this night all dressed casually in our hoodies and jeans and we are drinking, catching up and reminiscing in an old mansion type building that we have hired for the occasion. We are all happy. I feel contented to be around these people and excited for the night ahead. The conversation turns to connections with others and relationships. We have a good old moan about our wives (in a jovial way) and at this point the group splinters and we all go to get ready for the night out, still all happy and still really excited.
Cut to me and two of the guys walking down a street I vaguely recognise from life but can't quite place. It's dark and the street is lined be trees either side. We are walking to town to continue our night out chatting as we go. I walk past a house that is set down below the path though I can see through a small front window. I see a pair of legs laid on the floor and heat very vividly a girl crying and her mother consoling her. I'm instantly connected with this girl and I can almost feel her emotionally dragging me toward her. I also instantly know who this girl is. Her name is Zoe. She is the ex partner of one of my friends (the one above who is on the night out with us though not walking down the street with me. The whom I have fallen out with in the distant past). - Now Zoe and I never really had any connection in life past her being my friends girlfriend and now ex. We would exchange pleasantries when we saw each other and occasionally chat on nights out about general life. I always thought my friend treated her poorly but they both seemed happy as so I was happy for them. I never voiced this to either of them - .
Anyway on with the dream. I carry on walking with my friends for maybe 20/30 paces but I can't leave. I tell them I have to go back and help. They both say we know you do. You always go back and help. They haven't heard Zoe crying somehow but they know I have to go. I run back.
I knock on the door and Zoe's mum answers (we've never met) she is immediately super friendly and lets me though she always without fail calls me the wrong name. Always a different name but never my own name or a name of a person I know. At this stage I can just feel Zoe is upset and I really want to help her. She's crying uncontrollably and really sobbing. I stand and have a quick look around the house. It's stunning. Like something from a magazine. Beautiful. One wall to my right is painted all white. The rest is painted and decorated with beautiful family pictures etc...
Anyway we sit for a while and talk. Never anything specific. I'm just aware that's what has happened. Zoe is suddenly laughing and joking and happy. She's really warm and you can tell genuinely content. I'm relieved. I am glad to have helped and I am not at all bothered that I have missed my night out. I'm happy where I am. Zoe's mum asks me to paint the big white wall. She asks for a mural (I am the least artistic person in the world). I oblige and paint a huge mural that without fail has religious themes. It's always a variant of Jesus on the cross. Always. All the time I painting Zoe and I are laughing and Joking and generally enjoying ourselves. She really is at ease now and I am really happy to have helped.
And then at this point without fail I wake up. I wake up feeling super connected to Zoe (I haven't seen her nor spoken to her for around 5 years) though i have this exact dream maybe once every 2 or 3 months. I feel adjoined to her somehow on a very deep level during the dream and this seems to carry on once I wake up.
Anyway I really am stumped and the frequency of this dream really has me confused. Any help or advice is greatly appreciated and I look forward to hearing from you all. Thank you for sticking with me and reading until the end.

[Habitat]

Sounds like you might be in love with Zoe, though not overly aware or accepting of that in your conscious life. Which would be understandable, as you are in a committed relationship. Do you feel attracted to her, in this dream ?

[+Not A Rockstar]

One can take dreams literally, which Habitat has done well. Because he has, I will take the figurative interpretation for you to consider. The truth is usually a mix of the two. But, there is an insight into you I gained from this which is really attractive to me as a retired cop. I relate strongly and was the same sort of copper/emergency services person.

Houses often symbolize lives. Your house in a dream (whatever it looks like really) is yours, I find this one being rented interesting. Maybe it infers a façade you are often living? Not bad, mind you, we all have them and need them for some aspects of life.

To me I am lumping together your unvoiced feeling Zoe was treated bad/the need in others/ your friends saying they know you had to go back and help into one bowl of meaning, which is your passion to help and try to make a difference as you can. I find this very familiar and was what drove me and kept me going in my own career. That she asked you to make a "mark" in her life (draw a mural in her house) is nice. We affect others more than we realize and perhaps she did appreciate your friendship however I don't feel certain she is literally Zoe in your dream, but people who need you and your kindness.

That you draw a religious icon speaks to me that for you, helping people is sort of your own religion, it is how you express your inner meaning. In this sense, to me, you are a person who might not be religious at all but who is spiritual, and to me, anyway, this is saying that. Your service is how you express "god" as you know him/her/it to be. 

That is what I got from this dream, and I like you for it. Thanks for your service and real commitment to helping people.

Now the frequency usually means something unresolved. Soon as you do that it will stop. Not for me to say what you need to do, but, it crosses my mind to just take a moment to say "Hi God, whomever You are." 

That may get blasted, but, to me, it is what is the only thing left without a resolution, in this dream, not feeling it emotionally. You feel it so may better know what feels left hanging for you.

Good wishes your way, and peace.

All interpretations are just my opinion.

[Habitat]

3 hours ago, AJF2018 said:

I wake up feeling super connected to Zoe

Seems significant to me. I am having troubling seeing how she isn't central to it. I am sure many, including myself, have had dreams about people who in waking life we didn't feel drawn to, but in a dream we were. One feels a little reluctant to dwell on this, given your personal circumstance. The 20-30 times the dream has recurred, does seem significant too, it is certainly campaigning hard for your attention.

Edited September 14, 2018 by Habitat

[+Not A Rockstar]

You could be right, Habitat, not being able to feel the dream makes it hard to know where the real focus was.

[Habitat]

The feeling is key, as you suggest. There is so much imagery in that dream, it could be a big job to work through it all, though I feel the presence of Zoe's mother, has to be significant, especially as the OP has never met her !

 

[John from Lowell]

Hi,

That is a very interesting dream. There is a lot of symbolism in dreams however the people we interact with in our dream can be real people in our waking life.

This Zoe person is most likely some one who needs your help with some thing in real life. I do not sense any romantic implications. More like a friend in need of some one who can them feel happy instead of sad.

If it were my dream I would contact Zoe and see how she was doing. Do you have the feeling that is a good idea?

John

 

[Habitat]

Don't know John, the central character in our dreams is most frequently, us.

[eight bits]

Welcome aboard. First, the disclaimer:

I don't interpret other people's dreams, but some dream motifs and characters are dreamt by many people, and I sometimes recognize those motifs and characters. I might be able to tell you what several people who have dreamt dreams like yours have thought about their dreams, but only you can decide whether that has anything to do with your personal dream.

Second, that's a well composed dream report. Thank you for providing enough of the background for we strangers to understand who's who and what's what. It makes everything much easier.

For the big picture, I'm with John on this, with all respect for the others who posted and who may be right, but I'm thinking both what John said and how he said it

Quote

If it were my dream I would contact Zoe and see how she was doing. Do you have the feeling that is a good idea?

Now of course we don't know how that inquiry will turn out. It could be that dream-Zoe is a part of you and not IRL-Zoe at all. However, that's not a reason not to contact Zoe.

The main thing about this dream (which has lots of detailed things going on - like a Swiss watch from the old days) is that it recurs. That's nagging, lol. A good relationship between the conscious and unconscious begins with each taking the other seriously. If the source of dreams keeps going on and on about Zoe, then the least the conscious can do is go "OK, I'm following your lead. Let me know how I'm doing."

HOWEVER, before you contact Zoe in real life, please googlebing anima projection. Dream-Zoe plays you like a violin, disrupts your plans, turns you into something you are not (a religious painter!?), with nothing in return except ... except nothing. So, heads up. Whatever her real situation turns out to be, the flesh-and-blood woman is NOT dream-Zoe, nor anything else you might inadvertantly project onto her (Little Girl Lost, for example). Keep your head on when you check the situation out.

As a practical matter, you might also want to keep your partner in the loop about the dream, who Zoe is, that you've received third-party advice to see what's going on. Unless you're looking for a new partner, proceed carefully that you don't mess things up with the partner you've got. Spoiler alert: if you're currently dealing with a 1 year-old, then you will be asked why you're taking an additional project now. Meh.

Finally, you emphasize 20/30 and 2/3. What are your thoughts about the ratio?

[acute]

The more you obsess over a dream, the more likely it is to recur.

[AJF2018]

Hi everyone, 

Apologies for the delay in my response, it's been a hectic old day somehow! Please do not think that I am not grateful for all your replies because I really really I am. I've tried to answer some of your questions and points raised below

Zoe - having never really given much thought to Zoe in a romantic way I must say this was an interesting point to me. Zoe is a very beautiful woman though not at all my type. I think the best way I could explain that is, Zoe is like a really nice piece of artwork that you recognise the beauty of and appreciate however that's so far as it goes. I do think the fact that I thought she was treated poorly by her ex plays into it. Maybe my subconscious is saying I should have and and definately could have done more to help her while she was in need and maybe this is transpiring in dream form. But in terms of romance between me and Zoe I would have to say this is highly highly unlikely. 

Recurring - I do go through phases in terms of obsessing about certain dreams I have so I absolutely take your point that my obsessing may lead to the recurrance. The only caveat to that would be that I can go for months without thinking of this dream and suddenly it pops up again totally out of the blue! 

I agree that my career choice could (and it definately at times does) influence my dreams. My dreams are often extensions of my life where I spend the vast majority of them caring for others or similar. And again this could well be related to my non helping of Zoe when she needed it perhaps? 

Either way I think contacting Zoe could well be a good idea. I have spoken to my partner about this too and she is in full agreement. I will send her a message tomorrow and see how she is getting on. I will of course update everyone on how that goes

Again I really appreciate everyone's input. I'm new to this type of areana and discussion though it is something that has always fascinated me. I apologise if my language and terms I have used are incorrect or misleading, I am but a novice! Sleep well guys