Head vs Heart

[cnmoore]

I’m not sure how to fully explain this feeling. A little background to start with… I am always the single girl out of the group, and my longest relationship lasted 4 months. I just never felt a deep connection with anyone to want to stay in a relationship or even try. I am very happy with myself and I keep myself very busy doing things I love. I am blessed to have amazing father figures in my life who taught me how to be whole as a single person. However, I met this man at my place of work. I actually quit this job awhile back and wanted to find something else I searched for months but something drew me back to this place of work. When this guy started I didn’t pay attention to him in the slightest, but he was a bit flirty I noticed. I stay up late a lot thinking deeply about life, and one night in the middle of the night I asked him to come take a walk on the beach. I really just wanted someone to talk about deep things with, just as friends, and I even told him that before we went. However, out of nowhere he kissed me? It just kind of happened. That night I never felt so connected with someone before. I just met this guy how can I feel like this. I can justify my emotions most of the time and understand why I have a reaction to most situations in life but I can’t understand why I genuinely like this person I barely know so much. I’ve scratched the surface of who he is and I crave so much more. He’s told me that he likes me as well and even stated that he feels like he’s known me forever. Anyways, we tried to see each other a couple times but after awhile it just didn’t work out because he lives in a halfway house and had to lie to try to come see me. He has been sober for three years but had to move in there due to certain reasons. I know other people are going to comment on this but when he told me it didn’t even phase me. I think it’s silly to think one person is meant to be just for you, this world is huge, but I started talking to someone new and I can’t stop thinking about him. When I do think about him it’s such a positive happy loving feeling? How do I stop thinking about someone I have to see every week? How can I beat these feelings? I keep trying to justify them but my mind is driving me insane.

[Podo]

On 9/16/2018 at 5:31 AM, cnmoore said:

 

I’m not sure how to fully explain this feeling. A little background to start with… I am always the single girl out of the group, and my longest relationship lasted 4 months. I just never felt a deep connection with anyone to want to stay in a relationship or even try. I am very happy with myself and I keep myself very busy doing things I love. I am blessed to have amazing father figures in my life who taught me how to be whole as a single person. However, I met this man at my place of work. I actually quit this job awhile back and wanted to find something else I searched for months but something drew me back to this place of work. When this guy started I didn’t pay attention to him in the slightest, but he was a bit flirty I noticed. I stay up late a lot thinking deeply about life, and one night in the middle of the night I asked him to come take a walk on the beach. I really just wanted someone to talk about deep things with, just as friends, and I even told him that before we went. However, out of nowhere he kissed me? It just kind of happened. That night I never felt so connected with someone before. I just met this guy how can I feel like this. I can justify my emotions most of the time and understand why I have a reaction to most situations in life but I can’t understand why I genuinely like this person I barely know so much. I’ve scratched the surface of who he is and I crave so much more. He’s told me that he likes me as well and even stated that he feels like he’s known me forever. Anyways, we tried to see each other a couple times but after awhile it just didn’t work out because he lives in a halfway house and had to lie to try to come see me. He has been sober for three years but had to move in there due to certain reasons. I know other people are going to comment on this but when he told me it didn’t even phase me. I think it’s silly to think one person is meant to be just for you, this world is huge, but I started talking to someone new and I can’t stop thinking about him. When I do think about him it’s such a positive happy loving feeling? How do I stop thinking about someone I have to see every week? How can I beat these feelings? I keep trying to justify them but my mind is driving me insane.

 

Sounds like you're in lust with someone new. Nothing weird or even vaguely mysterious about that. Either date him, or don't. As long as whatever you do is between two consenting adults, I don't see anything remarkable about anything you might do.

[Habitat]

On ‎16‎/‎09‎/‎2018 at 10:31 PM, cnmoore said:

How can I beat these feelings?

Might be better to examine why you want to "beat these feelings". I sense, despite a lot of what you say, that you are apprehensive about this person, why else mention half-way houses, and I also sense the "certain reasons" is a rationalization of his situation, not an explanation of it. The heart and soul of any relationship worth being in, is to feel relaxed and comfortable in it, to be distracted by misgivings, whether they be generated from within yourself, or by the behaviour of the other, not only detracts from your experience, but also the other person's.  I am inclined to think you should be wary, if only because this guy isn't really an independent person in control of his own life. Not while living in a half-way house.

Edited September 18, 2018 by Habitat

[Davros of Skaro]

Oh those pesky bonding neurochemicals.

[Podo]

5 hours ago, Hello Davros Kitty said:

Oh those pesky bonding neurochemicals.

For a moment I was surprised that someone else was taking up your Holy Dopamine Crusade, then I noticed that you'd just changed your username. I approve of your rebranding. In a couple of years you could always return to Davros Classic (TM) and make millions of upvotes!