How humans regulate emotions, why some can't

[Still Waters]

Take the following scenario. You are nearing the end of a busy day at work, when a comment from your boss diminishes what’s left of your dwindling patience. You turn, red-faced, towards the source of your indignation. It is then that you stop, reflect, and choose not to voice your displeasure. After all, the shift is nearly over.

This may not be the most exciting plot, but it shows how we as humans can regulate our emotions.

https://theconversation.com/emotions-how-humans-regulate-them-and-why-some-people-cant-104713

[MainerMikeBrown]

I don' think we can always control how angry and frustrated we sometimes get.  But we can control how we react to it.

[devilmaycare]

Energy is not regulated. It is only balanced.

[Duke Wellington]

On ‎22‎/‎10‎/‎2018 at 7:26 PM, MainerMikeBrown said:

I don' think we can always control how angry and frustrated we sometimes get.  But we can control how we react to it.

The more you use an aspect of your mind the more neurons get laid down strengthening it.

That can be positive for example doing lots of maths makes you better at maths. But it can also be negative for example having lots of negative emotions makes negative emotions stronger.

Problems with regulating emotions and impulse control are caused by laying down unhelpful neurons. In most cases the person is obsessive (which comes from genetics) and has been abused by their parents (which they obsess about). Obsessing over something traumatic is another common cause.

The obsessing and as a result frequent exposure to the negative emotions associated with the object of obsession wires the person up to have unmanageable negative emotions and impulse control. The damage can be undone or de-wired out of them with cognitive behavioural therapy but that takes time.

Most managers dont have a high level education in management or psychology so they usually dont know what they`re doing when it comes to recruiting staff. A decent manager can spot a problematic job candidate within 2 mins of talking to them. But then again a decent psychologically healthy manager doesnt diminish their staff either! lol.

[+DanL]

Feelings are hard or almost impossible to totally control. What can be controlled is how you react to them or what you show in your reaction. It is a matter of self-discipline. In the past males, at least in the US, were taught to do this a lot more stringently than men. This is where the idea that women are more emotional than men came from. Boys were encouraged to hide their feelings. Never show your fear, don't cry, don't show a lot of emotions of any kind. For a male to show their emotions was considered a sign of weakness or cowardliness while it was acceptable for girls and women. Unfortunately repressed emotions have repercussions that eventually are reflected in the physical and mental health. This is a cultural thing more than any real difference in the two sexes. Those cultural differences in the Western countries are changing somewhat right now and that is causing a lot of problems with adjustment.