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ZellRoze

Body Hopping?

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ZellRoze

 

Needed a place to ask and talk about an experience that seemed to really shake me up over the last few days. I can't get over it and it's driving me nuts.

I was watching the news the other night, and I was ignoring what the newscaster was saying, and just observing the whole scene behind the screen. I imagined being in her shoes. Not... "how cool would it be to do a newscast" but as in, I saw the camera, the studio, the prompter. I could smell the lights on the set as the newscast was read.

I felt her frustrations with her story and her mind wandered to dinner and her drive home. Then it jumped to the cameraman and his mind wandered while he worked the camera. Years of operating one, he was able to work it on instinct and hummed to a tune that was stuck in his head.

My wife asked if I was okay and snapped me back to... myself.

That night, it just got worse. My mind wandered off and I experienced my city as a whole (best way I could describe it). All at once, I could see from everyone's eyes, hear their mundane thoughts. Feel their fears and concerns. Everyone scurried about with their own lives, and I could feel the entirety of all of them.

And it just, really hit me how blind everyone was. The fear and frustrations this whole place has, how futile it felt knowing that each life was just mundane and had no direction. The people who wanted to do more and better the world were looked at by others with disregard because they had their own problems and couldn't be bothered.

I don't know how long I spiraled like this. I don't know if it was my imagination, (I am a writer, and that's how I get into character is by placing myself as them... really becoming that person in the way of thoughts and mannerisms.) or if it was something more.

When I came back to my senses, I have a huge weight on me. It's like I know something, but I can't seem to bring it forward and I'm clouded with a sense of depression and hopelessness that I can't shake off. I look at the news, and the people around me and I just feel like it's all futile and a big joke that no one knows they are the butt of.

 

 

Unfortunately, this wasn't my first time experiencing something like this. 

When I was 17, I was heavy into meditation and trying to astral project. I had a bad projection experience where I felt I was forced out of my body and slammed into another. It was odd. I was color blind and in what seemed to be a child's bedroom. It felt like I had a bad connection, but I got up to go to the bathroom and saw a face that wasn't mine. The shock was too much and I was yanked back into my body. The next day I drove to the house I was in and even saw the kid playing in the front yard. 

The next night, I tried to project again, only to be greeted by an almost 7 foot cloaked shade at the foot of my bed. Being a dumb kid (I'm almost 40 now) I got up, stared him down and told him to go **** off. I woke up with a massive nosebleed after that. 

I think the experiences are generally in separate categories though... I really don't know what to say about it. Just kinda lost and trying to find some answers. 

 

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DirtyDocMartens

There's a form of epilepsy that has symptoms similar to the ones you are describing. That might be a starting point. Good luck!

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ZellRoze

Any further information on this? or you want to just be vague to really drive home my spiraling depression by having me filled with self doubt and adding fuel to the fire with research since I can't really go into my doctor and say I'm having a psychic episode where I'm viewing a collective consciousness of the local populace, so I might be having seizures?

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freetoroam
22 minutes ago, ZellRoze said:

I can't really go into my doctor and say I'm having a psychic episode

That is exactly what you should be doing, is to go to your doctor.

As you are a writer from what you have stated, it all just appears that you have an active imagination, which is a good thing if you want to write stories, but it is nothing to do with actually reading peoples minds. 

You are imagining what they could be thinking because you are putting yourself in their shoes, that is what writers do.

What do you write about? 

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Habitat
53 minutes ago, ZellRoze said:

Any further information on this? or you want to just be vague to really drive home my spiraling depression by having me filled with self doubt and adding fuel to the fire with research since I can't really go into my doctor and say I'm having a psychic episode where I'm viewing a collective consciousness of the local populace, so I might be having seizures?

If you really are spiralling down into depression, time to do something about it, for your own sake and others around you, the rest of this story is pretty unimportant compared to this. This isn't trivial.

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ZellRoze
25 minutes ago, freetoroam said:

That is exactly what you should be doing, is to go to your doctor.

As you are a writer from what you have stated, it all just appears that you have an active imagination, which is a good thing if you want to write stories, but it is nothing to do with actually reading peoples minds. 

You are imagining what they could be thinking because you are putting yourself in their shoes, that is what writers do.

What do you write about? 

I write about various subjects. My first book was about a paranormal anthropologist who is trying to find other clan members of a Djinn he found. My second book is about the afterlife experiences of an old man who couldn't forive himself of his war crimes and refused to go through the "Process" of judgment and he meets others who did the same. 

I'm currently working on an novella for the orgin of Krampus and Santa Clause. 

I've talked to doctors about stuff like this, I'm already being treated for my depression and know when it hits. If it was another 'episode' then I'd not really be talking about it, just moving on. This was different. I was there. I was those people. It is so hard to really formulate into words and it sounds freaking crazy.

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ZellRoze
7 minutes ago, Habitat said:

If you really are spiralling down into depression, time to do something about it, for your own sake and others around you, the rest of this story is pretty unimportant compared to this. This isn't trivial.

I was trying to ask if there's any name for the vague illusion of epilepsy the first person was hinting about. If there is a medical symptom for what I experienced, just saying "here's a form of epilepsy that has symptoms similar to the ones you are describing... good luck" was really not helpful. 

I am already managing my symptoms and can tell the difference between a mundane issue and something more. 

I'm having some issues dealing with this and having someone simply toss around that I might have something medical wrong with me, but not really give me any specifics for me to look into... while "wishing me luck", is kinda an ***hat thing to do. 

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Habitat
9 minutes ago, ZellRoze said:

I'm having some issues dealing with this and having someone simply toss around that I might have something medical wrong with me, but not really give me any specifics for me to look into... while "wishing me luck", is kinda an ***hat thing to do

Get a couple of medical opinions about it, I wouldn't be hanging on the words of someone on a forum linking it to epilepsy, wanting further from them, it might be right for all I know, but it won't hurt to get some medical opinion either.

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Not A Rockstar
7 hours ago, ZellRoze said:

I'm having some issues dealing with this and having someone simply toss around that I might have something medical wrong with me,

Hi Zell, welcome to UM.

Forums are like anywhere else, and you meet all sorts and they have different expertise and views of it all. If you are under medical care and well versed in depression, then I will take your word for that and deal with this seeming empathy linkage you describe. I use those words to describe it, no clue what it might be better described as.

When I have events similar to this - sort of enhanced insights into others, sometimes on larger scales such as Society in general - I consider them to be more spiritual or religious in origin and as part of my own development as a decent human being. It is like more compassion opening up, as in the better we understand others the easier it is to care and forgive, if that makes sense.

I generally meditate on such insights, if it is more for me, and pray if it needs to be more for them. This is how I vent what I see on the emotional level, anyway. I have a very deep faith in Creator, so this works for me. 

The insights gained, sometimes go into stories, or sometimes just get filed away.

Despair is understandable, the pressure to sink us all into it is everywhere if you have eyes to see, but I have always been contrary and see this very contrariness as part of what I am here to do as a spiritual, compassionate person. I smile more and go out of my way to strive to be kind to people when I am out, and be positive.

Really, what else can you do? Go with it or fight it.

I fight.

JMO.

Peace.

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a.ham

This could certainly be epilepsy, or you could be experiencing a dissociative episode. Would recommend getting the opinion of a doctor or psychologist. 

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