Jump to content
Join the Unexplained Mysteries community today! It's free and setting up an account only takes a moment.
- Sign In or Create Account -
Lord Harry

Christmas with the Cranks

12 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Lord Harry

It looks like it's that time of year again folks.  So come on board this thread, bring your Holiday cheer and favorite seasonal beverage, and let us regale each other with our favorite crank stories. Lets face it, anyone who has spent any amount of time on forums specializing in ancient history and archaeology has run across their fair share of bewildering, annoying, at times maddening, and often hilariously amusing cranks.  Whether they sabotage threads by riding in unwelcome on their geyser powered camels, or flying down from their mothership, or perhaps sprawling mind-numbing mathematical equations across the screen, everyone here has a war story to tell.

While most of the stories and links will undoubtedly come from here on UM, there is no need to limit yourself folks.  There are literally hundreds of ancient history/archaeology forums across the internet.  Many of us here, myself included, are registered members of several forums.  So by all means, if you have an amusing crank story to tell from another forum, do tell.  And if at all possible, links to the actual offending posts are strongly encouraged.

So let us sit back, and enjoy our favorite stories from the bizarre annals of crankdom.

Edited by Lord Harry
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
 
danydandan
11 hours ago, Lord Harry said:

It looks like it's that time of year again folks.  So come on board this thread, bring your Holiday cheer and favorite seasonal beverage, and let us regale each other with our favorite crank stories. Lets face it, anyone who has spent any amount of time on forums specializing in ancient history and archaeology has run across their fair share of bewildering, annoying, at times maddening, and often hilariously amusing cranks.  Whether they sabotage threads by riding in unwelcome on their geyser powered camels, or flying down from their mothership, or perhaps sprawling mind-numbing mathematical equations across the screen, everyone here has a war story to tell.

While most of the stories and links will undoubtedly come from here on UM, there is no need to limit yourself folks.  There are literally hundreds of ancient history/archaeology forums across the internet.  Many of us here, myself included, are registered members of several forums.  So by all means, if you have an amusing crank story to tell from another forum, do tell.  And if at all possible, links to the actual offending posts are strongly encouraged.

So let us sit back, and enjoy our favorite stories from the bizarre annals of crankdom.

I liked that guy who's nickname was John ten decimal points Swan ( not his real name I can't remember his name or username). As I recall he thought that the dimensions of the Giza Pyramids had something to do with the planets distance from each other or some nonsense. He quickly got bum hurt and ran away.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
danydandan

But my all time favorite historical crank is Ulf Erlingsson, who with 99.98% certainty hypothesed that Ireland is Atlantis. 

"Just like Atlantis, Ireland is 300 miles long, 200 miles wide, and widest across the middle. They both have a central plain surrounded by mountains.

"I've looked at geographical data from the rest of the world and of the 50 largest islands there is only one that has a plain in the middle -- Ireland."

He believes the idea that Atlantis sank came from the fate of Dogger Bank, an isolated shoal in the North Sea, about 60 miles off the northeastern coast of England, which sank after being hit by a huge floodwave around 6,100 BC.

"I suspect that myth came from Ireland and it derives from Dogger Bank. I think the memory of Dogger Bank was probably preserved in Ireland for around 3,000 years and became mixed up with the story of Atlantis," he said.

Erlingsson links the boundaries of the Atlantic Empire, as outlined by Plato, with the geographic distribution of megalithic monuments in Europe and Northern Africa, matching Atlantis' temples with well-known burial sites at Newgrange and Knowth, north of Dublin, which pre-date the pyramids.

His book, "Atlantis from a Geographer's Perspective: Mapping the Fairy Land," calculates the probability Plato would have had access to geographical data about Ireland as 99.98 percent. Which in turn he suggests that he is 99.98% certain Atlantis is Ireland.

But he doesn't go full crank (you never go full crank on your first attempt) he always says the Atlantis myth.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Windowpane
2 hours ago, danydandan said:

...

He believes the idea that Atlantis sank came from the fate of Dogger Bank, an isolated shoal in the North Sea, about 60 miles off the northeastern coast of England, which sank after being hit by a huge floodwave around 6,100 BC.ys the Atlantis myth.

...

What the heck would Plato have known about the Dogger Bank?

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
danydandan
48 minutes ago, Windowpane said:

What the heck would Plato have known about the Dogger Bank?

Hence the crankness of this crank. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
John Bastien

My all time crank is "Cladking" He must have bots scouring the web looking for any time pyramid is typed into a thread or page. On another site we went to over 700 pages of geysers, magic Mafdet kitties, emerald tablets, and much more mind bending cranktology. By grace of God I did not develop a brain tumor. Every site I went to he was there or came in.  He must have his own server complex in a bunker some place in a remote location. Just type "Cladking pyramid" into Google and have at her. Just make sure you have an autopour set up on your bottle of JD. You will need it. Or if you smoke pot light up a good one first.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
danydandan
4 hours ago, danydandan said:

I liked that guy who's nickname was John ten decimal points Swan ( not his real name I can't remember his name or username). As I recall he thought that the dimensions of the Giza Pyramids had something to do with the planets distance from each other or some nonsense. He quickly got bum hurt and ran away.

Ahatmoses or something was the dude or dudettes name.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
The Wistman

kborissov and his Serapeum was a yeasty brewery of ancient predynastic graininess.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
John Bastien

That sounds really cranked out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
danydandan
42 minutes ago, The Wistman said:

kborissov and his Serapeum was a yeasty brewery of ancient predynastic graininess.

Was he the dude with light theory or something?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Saru

Two issues here:

1. It's not Christmas.

2. This is a bad idea for a thread.

We don't want to be encouraging personal attacks and mockery, nothing constructive is going to come of calling out and naming/shaming other members.

Closed.

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.