High-functioning autism -- I'm confused

[Piney]

1 minute ago, sci-nerd said:

"Normal" is so overrated! 

There is a down side. I said it before here. A heart defect, blood vessel defects in my head and the lack of a right kidney went undiagnosed because my mother and special ed teacher fell for that "Blue Chidren-Star Seed" horse****. 

[lightly]

You can say that again sci-nerd

[zep73]

2 minutes ago, Piney said:

that "Blue Chidren-Star Seed" horse****

I don't agree with them, but I thought it was worth mentioning, as an alternative theory.

[Piney]

10 minutes ago, sci-nerd said:

I don't agree with them, but I thought it was worth mentioning, as an alternative theory.

A "theory" needs scientific backing. horse**** is just the random foolish thought. 

[Duke Wellington]

1 hour ago, sci-nerd said:

Perhaps. But I have other traits that says otherwise:

- I am very good at reading people.
- I feel sym/empathy, and can sense peoples silent reactions.
- I am extremely good at language. Ridiculously good.
- I had excellent athletic skills, when I was young (not so much now).
- I am more a rule breaker, than a rule slave.

And you are saying you are autistic?

How have you got good communication skills and good people reading abilities? They are at odds with the disorder? Maybe if you didnt have autism you would be even better? What you are saying conflicts with my understanding of the disorder.

[Piney]

1 minute ago, RabidMongoose said:

And you are saying you are autistic?

How have you got good communication skills and good people reading abilities? They are at odds with the disorder? Maybe if you didnt have autism you would be even better? What you are saying conflicts with my understanding of the disorder.

Like I said before. It's not a "disorder" but a series of symptoms. 

[zep73]

2 minutes ago, RabidMongoose said:

And you are saying you are autistic?

How have you got good communication skills and good people reading abilities? They are at odds with the disorder? Maybe if you didnt have autism you would be even better? What you are saying conflicts with my understanding of the disorder.

I never claimed to be autistic, I just have some traits.

[zep73]

24 minutes ago, RabidMongoose said:

Maybe if you didnt have autism you would be even better?

If I didn't have those traits, I would probably be God's gift to women 

[Duke Wellington]

23 minutes ago, sci-nerd said:

I never claimed to be autistic, I just have some traits.

You are not autistic.

[spartan max2]

1 hour ago, Piney said:

I am too in all those things.

But I still have autism from a chromosome disorder. Like I said it's a symptom of something else and not everybody has the same traits from it. 

 

Yeah people get confused that autisitcs are also all individuals, it presents different in different people. A whole bunch of other genetics and enviormental stuff at play.

[spartan max2]

Hey @RabidMongoose you seem to have a lot of interest in the topic, I'm curious if you have worked with autistics before or have family members with it? Or just have a interest. 

[StarMountainKid]

I think we all wonder how "normal" we are, and if we have some undiagnosed psychological problem. 

[Ares_Zeusson]

I'm thinking about making a thread about autism & dissociative identity disorder.

Through stress brought on by physical abuse, social anxiety, hysterical mutism & just generally being treated like a scary freak I cooked up some pretty bad hombres to take the wheel when I can't.

I remember living in Texas as a boy & playing tennis with my sister when a couple approached me asking how much longer we would be & up until that point I'd never spoken to anyone outside of my immediate family but out of the blue I started talking with a thick southern drawl & struck up a conversation with 'em but I can't remember talking to those people.

I don't have the blackouts anymore & have a pretty good handle on who's at the forefront at any givin' time but they argue & make me conflicted.

Edited December 12, 2018 by Kid_Marx

[Jenn8779]

On 12/11/2018 at 9:56 AM, Piney said:

But there are exceptions. I'm always accused of caring too much about peoples feelings and problems both physical and mental. I get too emotional so I never became a healer like my grandfather, uncle and brother. 

 But as a high dollar bodyguard I had a lot of dicks. When performing my job I thought about their families and how they would feel if I let said dick get hurt or killed. 

@Jenn8779 can tell you all about my younger years of caring about others first. I was the only weekend night shift EMT for Woodland Township in the Pine Barrens when I was a teen. I also sided busting heads of bullies and people that got 'heavy handed" with girls. 

Both my son's were and are the same way. Overly sensitive to others.

.....As a afterthought I wonder if it has to do with both my grandparents being healers and my Uncle being a Temple Priest though.....

Oh you definitely care about others feelings and thoughts way more than you should! Honestly, most of these folks don't deserve you in my opinion.

And I can absolutely back up all that you did as a teen/young man, when others exercised their selfish tendencies. Only too many seemed to have "suicidal stupidity" going on and have you to thank for stepping in... including the idiot who set himself on fire. LoL You always stood up for the underdog and the weak. You may say you have a issues with face to face conversation, but only if it isn't in defense of someone else. Than that strong protective instinct comes out. You never had an issue with that... and so many of us can be grateful for it. Considering I'm one of the girls you protected and stood up for, I can only say thank you for that and I will always be grateful. Love you, my friend. Always!

[Piney]

9 hours ago, Jenn8779 said:

including the idiot who set himself on fire. LoL

  I forgot about that......

[Melskaya]

I'm a high-functioning autistic and it is really hard to be high-functioning. I was diagnosed at 40 and I'm 51 now. For me it is a developmental disorder. There's a saying in our community... if you've met one person with autism then you've met one person with autism. This isn't a one size fits all type of thing and the "spectrum" isn't shaped like a rainbow but more like a color wheel with dots on it representing where you fall short. Here's a very good page to explain it better. https://the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/ 

There are generally two schools of thought regarding autism... having autism and being autistic. 1. Having autism is this horrible thing that must be cured (thanks Jenny McCarthy) and 2. Being autistic is just a different way of processing information and looking at things. I equate it with being left-handed. The world is made for righties so the lefties learn to adapt. Me personally, I am autistic. If I ask you to show me a cup you might hold up a coffee mug and I might hold up a paper cup from Starbuck's. Technically we are both correct.

It's not that we don't have feelings or can't recognize that other people have feelings. For me personally, I feel everything and it gets overwhelming causing me to "shut down". That's when people think I don't recognize their feelings. I do but I can't process it all at once. I also don't always get jokes. I don't always recognize when someone doesn't want to talk anymore. Facial cues, micro-expressions, body language... I'm good in some areas but sink into the abyss on others. I have learned over the years to "pass" as an NT (neurotypical) which is hard to do and exhausting to maintain. I used to just do it for interviews until I discovered to my horror that people expected me to always be just like that person in the interview. I usually find someone in the office to mimic. Oh so she liked Mary when she complimented her on her shoes? Okay, so now I will compliment people on shoes or nail polish or motorcycle or whatever. It's hard to remember that people don't like bluntness or a lack of filter and that has been a problem. I've lost a lot of jobs to "you just don't fit in" and I get it, my disabilities are invisible so people forget about them. I also have PTSD (former military) so you'd think the 75 lb. service dog at my side would be some sort of visual reminder but invisible disabilities... out of sight, out of mind.

I have no problem with people asking me about autism or PTSD. If I am open talking about them then maybe that lightens the stigma for the next person.

 

[Nnicolette]

On 12/7/2018 at 1:21 PM, sci-nerd said:

I am not diagnosed, but I have some autistic traits. It may not make me partially autistic, but it makes me able to understand both worlds.

- I don't like to socialize. Not even with family.
- I don't like small talk (IRL).
- I don't like eye contact more than 1 second.
- I prefer not to touch anyone.
- I have no need for a girlfriend. The trouble is not worth it.
- I find computer games a waste of time.
- I have a compulsive interest in science.

But despite all those things, if people think I'm weird or call me weird, I don't mind. I can see the weirdness myself. I am fully aware of it.

Wait are those signs of autism... i thought that was normal.

[spartan max2]

4 minutes ago, Melskaya said:

I'm a high-functioning autistic and it is really hard to be high-functioning. I was diagnosed at 40 and I'm 51 now. For me it is a developmental disorder. There's a saying in our community... if you've met one person with autism then you've met one person with autism. This isn't a one size fits all type of thing and the "spectrum" isn't shaped like a rainbow but more like a color wheel with dots on it representing where you fall short. Here's a very good page to explain it better. https://the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/ 

There are generally two schools of thought regarding autism... having autism and being autistic. 1. Having autism is this horrible thing that must be cured (thanks Jenny McCarthy) and 2. Being autistic is just a different way of processing information and looking at things. I equate it with being left-handed. The world is made for righties so the lefties learn to adapt. Me personally, I am autistic. If I ask you to show me a cup you might hold up a coffee mug and I might hold up a paper cup from Starbuck's. Technically we are both correct.

It's not that we don't have feelings or can't recognize that other people have feelings. For me personally, I feel everything and it gets overwhelming causing me to "shut down". That's when people think I don't recognize their feelings. I do but I can't process it all at once. I also don't always get jokes. I don't always recognize when someone doesn't want to talk anymore. Facial cues, micro-expressions, body language... I'm good in some areas but sink into the abyss on others. I have learned over the years to "pass" as an NT (neurotypical) which is hard to do and exhausting to maintain. I used to just do it for interviews until I discovered to my horror that people expected me to always be just like that person in the interview. I usually find someone in the office to mimic. Oh so she liked Mary when she complimented her on her shoes? Okay, so now I will compliment people on shoes or nail polish or motorcycle or whatever. It's hard to remember that people don't like bluntness or a lack of filter and that has been a problem. I've lost a lot of jobs to "you just don't fit in" and I get it, my disabilities are invisible so people forget about them. I also have PTSD (former military) so you'd think the 75 lb. service dog at my side would be some sort of visual reminder but invisible disabilities... out of sight, out of mind.

I have no problem with people asking me about autism or PTSD. If I am open talking about them then maybe that lightens the stigma for the next person.

 

Thanks for sharing.

I'm very grateful that people get diagnosed much quicker now. I'm 25 and was diagnosed before starting elementary school.

At 40 it must of felt nice to finally get an answer as to why everyone seems so different and alien from you. Because they are lol.

Our brains are just wired different. 

[Melskaya]

9 minutes ago, spartan max2 said:

Thanks for sharing.

I'm very grateful that people get diagnosed much quicker now. I'm 25 and was diagnosed before starting elementary school.

At 40 it must of felt nice to finally get an answer as to why everyone seems so different and alien from you. Because they are lol.

Our brains are just wired different. 

Once I got the diagnosis, everything just sort of clicked into place in my head. My mom and my brothers all said that things I had said or done in the past made sense now. The hardest part about autism for me is forming close bonds with people. (Granted, the PTSD doesn't exactly help that either.) I'd be willing to shank my younger brother just to have a "BFF" in this world.

[spartan max2]

39 minutes ago, Melskaya said:

Once I got the diagnosis, everything just sort of clicked into place in my head. My mom and my brothers all said that things I had said or done in the past made sense now. The hardest part about autism for me is forming close bonds with people. (Granted, the PTSD doesn't exactly help that either.) I'd be willing to shank my younger brother just to have a "BFF" in this world.

I get it.

Well it's worth hanging around UM at least, there is a community of sorts here.

There is quite a few autistics too. 

[Melskaya]

15 hours ago, spartan max2 said:

I get it.

Well it's worth hanging around UM at least, there is a community of sorts here.

There is quite a few autistics too. 

I imagine there would be.

[mike alan]

 Mostly hitting behaviour is a way of self defence.

Regards

Think Autistic

[White Crane Feather]

Yeah I understand the frustration. I think the issue is that they can’t be sensitive. I have worked with a lot of people on the spectrum before. I even have a close friend. It requires a lot of training and actually is a developed skill for them to be able to react in a “sensitive” manner. Often when their behavior is explained to them logically, they are mortified at how it looks. It’s just that they can’t understand the social situation like you can. It’s completely a foreign language to them. Understanding this, you can learn to recognize what they missed and be “blunt” but respectful in explaining it to them. They often appreciate it so much that they want to continue to be around you because you sort of become a translator for them.

The inability to be in the mind of others like we can can make one appear to be highly narcissistic. In reality it’s like walking around in a foreign country where you can read none of the signs, so you look like a criminal while you violate all of the norms of the country. 
 

The “sensitive” solution is simply to not act sensitive and tell the truth to them all the time.  Like I said. Most will appreciate it. 
 

However. Two spectrum individuals that interact can be an apocalyptic disaster. It can be so bad it becomes cartoonish. It’s bad to laugh, But I used to have to keep certain spectrum  individuals on opposite schedules because the negative energy between them can absorb the day and becomes almost comical. 
 

 

 

Edited June 19, 2020 by White Crane Feather