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Taun

UM Office Party Thread

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Taun

It has been requested that I start a "mistletoe/Secret Santa/Office Party" kind of thread... And so - despite that little voice screaming "NOOOOOO!" in the dank, dark recesses of what passes for my mind, and while the requestors are undergoing psychiatric evaluation, here goes...

The UM Department of Wild Life (Those people know how to party!) is sponsoring this years inaugural "Holiday(s) Office Party!...

It will begin immediately and last until the last attendee is carted off to the "Happy House", The Entertainment Committee is being headed by the Floggers Guild (Local 302) from the North Western Sector of Oubliette Complex 15. Music will be provided by the UM Complexes most popular (well... least hated) band "The Noggin' Knockers" and we have been assured that this time the music provided will be Holiday themed (ish) and somewhat less annoying than usual (we can only hope)... Since former singer and Lead Whipman Frank Lee Nutz has successfully undergone de-tox and psycho therapy he has been replaced by new lead shrieker Fairly D. Mented, who - we are assured - is in "fine voice" and should really put a "UM spin" on your favorite (or least hated) Holiday Tunes...

Refreshments are being provided by the Klown Kitchen Katering Konsortium and as they are certain to be offering their world (in)famous Holiday Haggis be sure to bring your appetites (and some antacid and perhaps a stomach pump)...

The Party is located in the Penthouse Dungeon, high atop the Stylish Phlegm Building in the Upper Crust (well - crusty anyway) Downtown Section of the Sprawling UM Megalopolis... Free transportation is is being provided by a joint effort of the Renegade Beer Balloon Fleet (if you come in via the air), the City wide Galapagos Turtle Taxi Company (if you are already in town) and the UM Navy with it's fleet of Triremes, if you arrive by sea (you may have to help row a bit) - transport tokens can be acquired at any local Office of the Inquisition...

If you are unable or unwilling to bring a date - don't worry, one will be provided by the Zombie Blind Date Agency - and as a bonus this year, they don't have to be returned! (Bring your own Squiggle - none will be provided)

So just come on up to the party, kick the door open and lets get this disaster ... er ... party going!

 

This is a chance for everyone to add to the insanity, and bring your own narrative to the "party"... Keep it weird  (and clean - ish) UM!

Edited by Taun
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ouija ouija

.

 

 

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Edited by ouija ouija
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ouija ouija

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Mark One

hi guys, hkave you got and rum.  i sapw eddy jin the jug and glass. n hce's sllti got his bajd hand obut he sapys he will be over in an hour. so who wants pto dance then? herry pistmas evernyo.e..one time, woh-yeh!

 

http://www.zantherus.com/fun/drunkpost.php

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The Caspian Hare

When does the wife swapping begin?

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Taun
31 minutes ago, The Caspian Hare said:

When does the wife swapping begin?

Depends on what you want to swap your wife with - and if she feels it's to her advantage...

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Taun

I've noticed that the line to enter the party is not moving very fast... Perhaps we should move the Zombie Kissing Booth from the entrance, and replace it with a couple floggers and their cattle prods...

Oooo! I hear the band playing my favorite Holiday tune - "Wreck the Halls".... Gotta get a partner (of some sort) and start cutting a rug! (These rugs are ugly anyway)...

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third_eye

Crikey ... "The Noggin' Knockers" is a great band ... and I call dibs on Fairly D. Mented ... she's mine

~

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susieice

Image result for christmas party gif

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third_eye

Looks like that bunch brought along too much Squiggle in them pants ...

~

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Taun
1 hour ago, third_eye said:

Crikey ... "The Noggin' Knockers" is a great band ... and I call dibs on Fairly D. Mented ... she's mine

~

Fairly is an interesting person... When she was very little she wanted to be a Ballerina, but her training was cut short by a tragic accident... One morning at breakfast her mother dropped a six pack on the girls in step. So naturally she trained for a carear as a Pirate... That didn't go very well either as her pet parrot bit her nose off (which of course explains her "rather exotic look")... SInce the Pirate Academy only had eye patches and no nose patches, poor little Fairly had to look for other employment (How does she smell with no nose - you ask? Terrible!) ... She never gave up though and soon the plucky young lady ran through a gamut of various odd jobs - Aardvark wrangler, Hot Grease Taster, Chicken Plucker, Tuba Tuner, Dance Instructor, Hot Air Balloon Inflator and Member of Parliment... None of these jobs gave her much satisfaction - nor much social standing, and it wasn't until she went to have the hair on her back waxed off that her true talent for shrieking was discovered... She got an agent with the I.M. Greedy Talent Agency and was soon on tour with various bands such as the "The Flaming Poo", "The Talentless Troglodytes" and most notably with the now-legendary "The Howling Hernias"... After the breakup of the Howling Hernia's - and the mandatory 5 - 10 year stay at a local "government hostel" she was picked as the replacement for Frank Lee Nutz in the new line-up of the Noggin' Knockers...

I think you'll enjoy your "date" with her third_eye - at least you'd better make her think you did!

 

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third_eye
Just now, Taun said:

I think you'll enjoy your "date" with her third_eye - at least you'd better make her think you did!

 

She has the most adorable and cutest ear I have ever seen ... where's the other one ?

~

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Taun
Just now, third_eye said:

She has the most adorable and cutest ear I have ever seen ... where's the other one ?

~

She keeps it - and other mementos of her past - in a box backstage - if you play your cards right she might show them to you, be forewarned though... some of those "mementos" have sharp teeth!

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Mark One

Wow, what happened last night?  There I was, slurping Babysham with that Brenda from accounts and the next thing, someone put this tune on.

After dancing with that Brenda, everything went a blank and I came around this morning laying over a lawnmower in the Um shed.

I'm also concerned about these strange marks on my neck.  Should I get Buffy involved or what?

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Taun

Well... I guess the Office party is over now....

(grabs broom and starts sweeping up the confetti, empty plastic cups, spilled snacks and dropped bits of dancing zombies - begins humming "The Partys Over")

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Mark One

 

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