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Still Waters

Hate Christmas? A survival guide for Grinches

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Still Waters

In many parts of the world, we are expected to love Christmas and embrace all things about it. Anyone who doesn’t is quickly labelled a Grinch and advised to keep their views to themselves so that they don’t ruin a magical time for others. But how reasonable is this? And if you are a Grinch, how can you survive the yuletide season?

https://theconversation.com/hate-christmas-a-psychologists-survival-guide-for-grinches-108278

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sci-nerd

JUL! Jul goddammit JUL!

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Essan

I love Christmas!  I get to spend several days on my own, no contact with another person for 4 days.  It's great!   

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Sheltie

I think the problem is that so many of the people labeled as grinches really do enjoy the holiday.  It's actually those fanatics who've hijacked the holiday with their social expectations and pressure to perform who've ruined it for a lot of people.  Christmas should be a time when people can simply get together with friends and family and appreciate life but instead we're hounded by holiday music at every corner and pesty fussbudgets who are convinced they suddenly have the authority to interrogate us with impunity regarding our social plans. <_< 

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Aaron2016

I love Christmas, but sometimes I behave like a Grinch unintentionally.  Maybe it's a 'macho guy' thing, but I just don't like to show my softer side in public, and Christmas time really brings out those softer emotions to the surface.  So I would either say something nasty to mask and deflect those emotions or just leave the room altogether.  During my youth I would fly over to London and spend every Christmas on my own because I did not want to confront those softer emotions and go through the whole emotional routine again e.g. family hugs and kisses, presents, nostalgic songs and TV shows etc.  I also felt that I did not deserve to be happy and the Christmas season was like an open invitation to be happy.  So I would fight it subconsciously and for years I would book a flight to London just before Christmas and return just after the New Year.  Some times I would face up to the season, but I would put up my Christmas tree as late as 21st December and embrace the festive season for just a few days.  Other times I would embrace the season too much and I would keep my tree up until April the following year!

Maybe it is just a masculine thing? i.e. trying to hide an emotional weakness by acting the Grinch?

 

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ShadowSot

I like Christmas. But in truth I get burnt out just a few weeks into the endless parade of music, commercials, TV, and so on. 

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Guyver

haha......I love it!  You know, the grinch and the Mr. Scrooge types are obviously so censured.....but yeah.....I'm grinchy and I don't mind saying so.  Those work Christmas parties are so completely lame, I'd literally prefer to sit at home alone and watch tv.....even with nothing good on!

The kids are grown......what's the point of Christmas?  Hot toddies.....that's about all I can come up with.  :]

That plus cheerleaders in Santa Helper suits.  

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Robotic Jew

I hate it. I guess I'm a "grinch" but for me Christmas has never held any joy. Every year, just before Thanksgiving I can feel my mood start to change. An overwhelming depression starts to creep in and almost like clockwork everything in my life starts to unravel. It has been that way ever since at 7 I happened upon my christmas presents hidden away in the garage. Super excited on christmas morning I awoke to find no presents...only to learn that my mother had pawned them all to purchase drugs and run off leaving me and my brother to fend for ourselves.

 

I have kids of my own now, and I do all I can to enjoy it for their sake as they seem to love it. But it's hard.

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Helen of Annoy
2 hours ago, Robotic Jew said:

I hate it. I guess I'm a "grinch" but for me Christmas has never held any joy. Every year, just before Thanksgiving I can feel my mood start to change. An overwhelming depression starts to creep in and almost like clockwork everything in my life starts to unravel. It has been that way ever since at 7 I happened upon my christmas presents hidden away in the garage. Super excited on christmas morning I awoke to find no presents...only to learn that my mother had pawned them all to purchase drugs and run off leaving me and my brother to fend for ourselves.

 

I have kids of my own now, and I do all I can to enjoy it for their sake as they seem to love it. But it's hard.

Do you accept mental hugs from strangers on the Internet? 

Because I really need to hug you right now. 

I also hope the seasonal depression you feel for a damn good reason will withdraw with years and the memories of the Christmasses you gave to your kids will win over the memories of the Christmasses that were taken away from you. 

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Robotic Jew
8 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

Do you accept mental hugs from strangers on the Internet? 

Because I really need to hug you right now. 

I also hope the seasonal depression you feel for a damn good reason will withdraw with years and the memories of the Christmasses you gave to your kids will win over the memories of the Christmasses that were taken away from you. 

I welcome them. 


Thank you. I'm 37 and it only seems to get worse. Who knows what happens from here?

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Helen of Annoy
23 minutes ago, Robotic Jew said:

I welcome them. 


Thank you. I'm 37 and it only seems to get worse. Who knows what happens from here?

Oh, good! *hugging your roboticness with all the tentacles I've got*

 

I'm almost 50 and only recently I managed to take the power away from my memories and give that power back to me, the present-time me.  

My peak depression was in my late thirties too. God knows why, maybe there is some mechanism, maturity level, hormonal levels, who knows. 

You're intelligent, that's both curse and a blessing - a curse because it's bound to make you more prone to depression, and a blessing because you can actually pick your own suffering apart and see where from it comes, how it affects you, what do you want to allow and what you should change. Sounds impossible, I know, but it's not. You just have to talk a lot with yourself. You can take the power away from the memories and back into your own hands. Those who hurt you don't deserve to control your mood even today. Nope. Take that away from them. 

*hugs you once more* 

 

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Robotic Jew
6 minutes ago, Helen of Annoy said:

Oh, good! *hugging your roboticness with all the tentacles I've got*

 

I'm almost 50 and only recently I managed to take the power away from my memories and give that power back to me, the present-time me.  

My peak depression was in my late thirties too. God knows why, maybe there is some mechanism, maturity level, hormonal levels, who knows. 

You're intelligent, that's both curse and a blessing - a curse because it's bound to make you more prone to depression, and a blessing because you can actually pick your own suffering apart and see where from it comes, how it affects you, what do you want to allow and what you should change. Sounds impossible, I know, but it's not. You just have to talk a lot with yourself. You can take the power away from the memories and back into your own hands. Those who hurt you don't deserve to control your mood even today. Nope. Take that away from them. 

*hugs you once more* 

 

Thanks for your insight and kind words. I fear i've derailed this thread with my pathetic misery. lol not my intention. 

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ouija ouija
3 hours ago, Robotic Jew said:

I hate it. I guess I'm a "grinch" but for me Christmas has never held any joy. Every year, just before Thanksgiving I can feel my mood start to change. An overwhelming depression starts to creep in and almost like clockwork everything in my life starts to unravel. It has been that way ever since at 7 I happened upon my christmas presents hidden away in the garage. Super excited on christmas morning I awoke to find no presents...only to learn that my mother had pawned them all to purchase drugs and run off leaving me and my brother to fend for ourselves.

 

I have kids of my own now, and I do all I can to enjoy it for their sake as they seem to love it. But it's hard.

Hypnotherapy is what you need. :)

6 minutes ago, Robotic Jew said:

Thanks for your insight and kind words. I fear i've derailed this thread with my pathetic misery. lol not my intention. 

Your misery is not pathetic but it does need to be obliterated. Hypnotherapy will do the trick.

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Helen of Annoy
1 minute ago, Robotic Jew said:

Thanks for your insight and kind words. I fear i've derailed this thread with my pathetic misery. lol not my intention. 

You were not pathetic! You were open, that takes courage. It's also good for dealing with our type of problem. At least in my experience, it really works that you say out loud, or write down, that what is tormenting you. I even had shouting matches with long dead people who wronged me. Seriously. 

*hugs you again*

Yeah, I'll keep hugging you until I squeeze out at least a bit of your sadness. You're carrying it for far too long time. 

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rashore
5 minutes ago, Robotic Jew said:

Thanks for your insight and kind words. I fear i've derailed this thread with my pathetic misery. lol not my intention. 

I don't think so... after all the first point in the article was to get support. You got reasons to not like Christmas, and it's ok if you don't like Christmas.

I'm a grinch too.

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Robotic Jew
2 minutes ago, ouija ouija said:

Hypnotherapy is what you need. :)

Your misery is not pathetic but it does need to be obliterated. Hypnotherapy will do the trick.

I don't even know where one would go to find a hypnotherapist. 

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Sheltie
8 minutes ago, Robotic Jew said:

 I fear i've derailed this thread with my pathetic misery.

Not at all!  I get the impression stories like yours are the reason the OP started this thread.  The majority of Americans grew up in dysfunctional families.  I've seen estimates ranging anywhere from over 60% of families to more than 90%.  We all have our share of terrible childhood stories although I have to admit mine might not be quite as bad as yours. 

Christmas is what you make of it.  Just try to do the best you can and never worry about what other people say or think.

 

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ouija ouija
1 minute ago, Robotic Jew said:

I don't even know where one would go to find a hypnotherapist. 

 

You don't need to live near one. I had all of my sessions through Skype. If you can find the address of one, contact them and see if they will work that way. Also, if it's expensive try to negotiate a reduction.

 

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Robotic Jew
Just now, ouija ouija said:

 

You don't need to live near one. I had all of my sessions through Skype. If you can find the address of one, contact them and see if they will work that way. Also, if it's expensive try to negotiate a reduction.

 

You can be hypnotized over skype?

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Sheltie
20 hours ago, ShadowSot said:

I like Christmas. But in truth I get burnt out just a few weeks into the endless parade of music, commercials, TV, and so on. 

I recommend you avoid the Lifetime TV Network!  :o  Those annoying Christmas movies... egad!

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ouija ouija
7 minutes ago, Robotic Jew said:

You can be hypnotized over skype?

Absolutely! I'm talking about the video version.

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aztek

you do not like x mass, so ignore it, ruining it for the rest does not make you a grinch, it makes you an ahole, and that will stick with you for much much longer.

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Robotic Jew
22 minutes ago, aztek said:

you do not like x mass, so ignore it, ruining it for the rest does not make you a grinch, it makes you an ahole, and that will stick with you for much much longer.

How does somebody else's opinion of a holiday ruin it for you?

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Guyver
5 hours ago, Robotic Jew said:

I hate it. I guess I'm a "grinch" but for me Christmas has never held any joy. Every year, just before Thanksgiving I can feel my mood start to change. An overwhelming depression starts to creep in and almost like clockwork everything in my life starts to unravel. It has been that way ever since at 7 I happened upon my christmas presents hidden away in the garage. Super excited on christmas morning I awoke to find no presents...only to learn that my mother had pawned them all to purchase drugs and run off leaving me and my brother to fend for ourselves.

 

I have kids of my own now, and I do all I can to enjoy it for their sake as they seem to love it. But it's hard.

Worst Christmas story ever.  sigh.  Sorry to hear it.  

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freetoroam
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In many parts of the world, we are expected to love Christmas and embrace all things about it

Expected? 

Really?

Well sod that for starters.

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