"Masculinity is harmful" According to APA

[Aquila King]

5 minutes ago, Michelle said:

You were the one looking for another fight....

You really gotta learn some modern slang... 

Reminds me of some girl's mother getting all upset over her posting "Me and my boyfriend are going to go Adult this afternoon" thinking that the phrase 'going to Adult' meant to have sex, when to young people that simply means to pay bills, run errands, etc.

Kind of the same thing happening here. I don't literally want to fight over this. It's just something we young people say when expressing a controversial opinion.

Edited January 11, 2019 by Aquila King

[MWoo7]

oh my word nasty.. nasty little thing. Carry on


eeh my post is late now.  Nighterzzzzz

Edited January 11, 2019 by MWoo7

[+Hammerclaw]

Men don't decide what Masculine is, women do. They encourage and foster those traits by breeding with them and raising their sons to emulate what they consider "masculine", or, at least, the vast majority do.

[Likely Guy]

It's quite easy to be masculine without being misogynous, or overly defensive.

[Dejarma]

4 hours ago, Dark_Grey said:

the A.P.A. approved its first set of official guidelines

If I were at a party & met one of these A.P.A officials (not knowing who he/she is)= I'd bet after a 5min chat I'd be thinking: 'what a Fing idiot'

[Likely Guy]

4 hours ago, Dark_Grey said:

Go outside and look at your street. Look at the street lights, the sewer drains, the cars in the driveways. Look at the planes flying over head, the fire hydrants strategically placed to help keep you safe. 

That's traditional masculinity at work.

That's got nothing to do with masculinity.

[Dejarma]

1 minute ago, Likely Guy said:

That's got nothing to do with masculinity.

i agree

[Luca-RoseElsie-Raemom1921]

Traditional masculinity is harmful, teaching men they have to hold everything in is more dangerous to their mental health. 

Its seen as weak for a man to seek help or not act super manly. 

Masculinity should not be defined by what tradition says.

 

16 minutes ago, Michelle said:

He's clueless...

You are the one who tried saying crap about me last year, think first. 

Then trying to demand me say sorry to you! 

Oh for the record Aquila has a lot of respect for both genders. 

[Likely Guy]

3 minutes ago, Ruby04 said:

Traditional masculinity is harmful, teaching men they have to hold everything in is more dangerous to their mental health. 

Its seen as weak for a man to seek help or not act super manly. 

Masculinity should not be defined by what tradition says.

On that, I couldn't agree more.

[Luca-RoseElsie-Raemom1921]

2 minutes ago, Likely Guy said:

On that, I couldn't agree more.

With mental health a man talking about it is still taboo. 

 

Post natal depression is now spoken of widely and help offered, but only to moms. 

Dads can and do get it to, yet aren’t encouraged to seek help or offered help as much. 

[Dejarma]

9 minutes ago, Ruby04 said:

Traditional masculinity is harmful, teaching men they have to hold everything in is more dangerous to their mental health. 

that's only a small part of masculinity.. & IMO not as relevant as it was 30-50 etc years ago....

to me, masculinity is defined by the only man in a block of apartments who has the balls to knock on the door of someone blaring music all night= telling them to shut the Fck up!!!

[Luca-RoseElsie-Raemom1921]

3 minutes ago, Dejarma said:

that's only a small part of masculinity.. & IMO not as relevant as it was 30-50 etc years ago....

to me, masculinity is defined by the only man in a block of apartments who has the balls to knock on the door of someone blaring music all night= telling them to shut the Fck up!!!

You have a valid opinion, which is why I say no single person can define the meaning of masculinity 

[Likely Guy]

2 minutes ago, Ruby04 said:

With mental health a man talking about it is still taboo. 

 

Post natal depression is now spoken of widely and help offered, but only to moms. 

Dads can and do get it to, yet aren’t encouraged to seek help or offered help as much. 

It's getting better.

A 'manly man' that I know came across a burning wreck on a logging road a few months ago and had to put out the body of his long time friend and boss. At first he denied needing any counseling, now he's coming around.

I've been counseled twice. Once when a co-worker cut off his lower arm and once after I witnessed a helicopter crash right in front of me. It helps to talk to those that you were there with as well as a neutral facilitator. It helps.

Luckily Wayne's arm got reattached and no one died in the crash.

 

[Likely Guy]

6 minutes ago, Dejarma said:

that's only a small part of masculinity.. & IMO not as relevant as it was 30-50 etc years ago....

to me, masculinity is defined by the only man in a block of apartments who has the balls to knock on the door of someone blaring music all night= telling them to shut the Fck up!!!

That's a small aspect, but an aspect nonetheless.

[Aquila King]

At the end of the day, none of it matters. Shouldn't matter whether a dude is super girly or a girl is super manly. Or anything else in-between. Just let people be people. Who the F cares?...

[Dejarma]

3 minutes ago, Ruby04 said:

You have a valid opinion, which is why I say no single person can define the meaning of masculinity 

i feel (as an individual) i've defined it perfectly with that example

[Aquila King]

It's the whole expecting people to conform to certain standards of 'masculine' and 'feminine' that causes most of the psych problems in general anyway.

[Dejarma]

4 minutes ago, Likely Guy said:

That's a small aspect, but an aspect nonetheless.

can you put forward another aspect?

[Luca-RoseElsie-Raemom1921]

4 minutes ago, Likely Guy said:

It's getting better.

A 'manly man' that I know came across a burning wreck on a logging road a few months ago and had to put out the body of his long time friend and boss. At first he denied needing any counseling, now he's coming around.

I've been counseled twice. Once when a co-worker cut off his lower arm and once after I witnessed a helicopter crash right in front of me. It helps to talk to those that you were there with as well as a neutral facilitator. It helps.

Luckily Wayne's arm got reattached and no one died in the crash.

 

So glad you both got help and are getting better. 

Its so important to look after our mental health. 

Breakdowns are horrible things

[jmccr8]

well, I guess I am a dinosaur walking among men then. So what does a non-maculine man do when faced with the violence of war in the battlefield or in a disaster. You may find that after reading about profiling serial killers or rapists then look around you and in the mirror and you would be surprised at how one variation in character sets them aside. The world we live in has challenges and what some may see as a detriment is a reason we are the most prolific species on the planet.

Anything that is abused is wrong.

jmccr8

[Likely Guy]

4 minutes ago, Aquila King said:

At the end of the day, none of it matters. Shouldn't matter whether a dude is super girly or a girl is super manly. Or anything else in-between. Just let people be people. Who the F cares?...

But the question was whether or not teaching "traditional masculinity" to young boys was harmful.

Though I agree that there are not only two sides to a coin.

4 minutes ago, Dejarma said:

can you put forward another aspect?

Not being afraid to cry when it means something.

[Aquila King]

6 minutes ago, Likely Guy said:

But the question was whether or not teaching "traditional masculinity" to young boys was harmful.

Though I agree that there are not only two sides to a coin.

True. That's where basically I said that expecting people to conform to arbitrary standards of 'masculine' and 'feminine' is unhealthy, whether you're male or female.

Though I do agree that traditional masculinity in particular can be especially harmful, with concepts such as to bury your emotions rather than express them, or to associate cold-heartedness with strength and empathy with weakness, etc.

[Imaginarynumber1]

Who the **** needs therapy for mental health issues when there ar drugs, alcohol,  and high risk sexual activities to engage in?

[Dejarma]

4 minutes ago, Likely Guy said:

Not being afraid to cry when it means something.

 

yeah like i suggested earlier= i feel more and more men show emotion these days compared to 30/50+ years ago= but going by the feel of this thread it seems crying/to show emotion isn't a sign of masculinity

[Dejarma]

2 minutes ago, Imaginarynumber1 said:

Who the **** needs therapy for mental health issues when there ar drugs, alcohol,  and high risk sexual activities to engage in?

spoken like a true man