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Thoughts on fate?

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I dont know much other than the idea has been worrisome. I always thought of life as a random thing. Like I might get hit by a car tomarrow or I might live till Im 120. 

But fate kind of scares me. Im sure what I am about to say has many logical ideas about the human brain being faulty but thats not what worries me so I am just going to say it. I think I have seen key points of my life already. 

When I was a kid I would randomly shut down and look at nothing. I remember one of these moments vividly. I just stopped playing with my toys, flattened myself of the carpet, then stared at the ceiling for god knows how long. 

I was reading a book. Turning the pages. It was so vivid that when I snapped out of it I did not know where i was. Just on the floor. 

I hated reading. Like any other kid. 

Years later my parents divorced. Lots of things happened but in sixth grade my teacher started a book and didnt complete. I had to finish it. 

This book lead to me being interested in reading. 

One day. I found a random series of books. They weren't anything special. But the third one. It was the one. The one I read on the floor as a kid.

I thought nothing of this. 

I had many more occurrences over the years. 

My music. Why am I a musician? I remember my first dream about the piano. It ment nothing. I could never play that well.

I played a song recently. Its the song. My fingers move on thier own. Like they already know how to play. My teacher says it natural talent. I guess. But I had only been playing for a month at that point. 

I noticed that every stupid choice I made led to something. Is turing into something. 

But its like its ment to happen.

There was a conversation with my parents recently. I instantly recognised it. I knew every word. What I was supposed to reply. 

Something instinctive tells me to fallow the script. I did. word for word. I could not help it. I felt like I had to. 

It was just a dumb conversation about ice cream. 

It was at that point that I began to wonder if I really had free will. And most importantly. I cant remember where any of this is going. 

This is unsettling because if any of this is true than fate is scary. I would rather things be random. I would rather it all be chance. 




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Carlos Allende

The incident with the ice cream and the book seem convincing.

Me, I haven't had Deja Vu for years, but when I did, it was when I was about to have an argument with someone, and the whole thing seemed like a nightmare. But I'm not sure if it was the nightmare feeling that caused the Deja Vu, or vice-versa.

On the whole, though, I'm with Sarah Connor and her picnic table.


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The only thing fated is death. We know not when it will occur. Life is whatever you make it.

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