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pallidin

Does personality or looks matter most?

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pallidin

I've seen some arguments on both sides... also realizing that a "healthy mix" sometimes beats any extreme.

But WHAT, exactly, are we attracted to?

Maybe it's just so individualized that there is no hard answer.

Your thoughts?

 

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Coil
12 minutes ago, pallidin said:

Maybe it's just so individualized that there is no hard answer.

Your thoughts?

 

One scientist said that each person reacts to something of three factors: the figure, the inner world and a beautiful face.
Personally, it seems to me that if a person is interesting inside, then appearance does not matter.
It so happens that a person at first seems interesting and then you change your opinion, or vice versa, the person seemed to be nondescript and then interesting.

 

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pallidin
7 minutes ago, Coil said:

 

One scientist said that each person reacts to something of three factors: the figure, the inner world and a beautiful face.
Personally, it seems to me that if a person is interesting inside, then appearance does not matter.
It so happens that a person at first seems interesting and then you change your opinion, or vice versa, the person seemed to be nondescript and then interesting.

 

Those are great points.

I also look intensely at one's figure, personality and face.

Also, voice... perhaps that's a subset of personality.

 

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RabidMongoose
24 minutes ago, pallidin said:

I've seen some arguments on both sides... also realizing that a "healthy mix" sometimes beats any extreme.

But WHAT, exactly, are we attracted to?

Maybe it's just so individualized that there is no hard answer.

Your thoughts?

 

Looks initially.

But if her personality is a disaster I will quickly disappear.

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and then

They made a movie about this ;) 

SHALLOW HAL

It's hilarious and thought-provoking.

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pallidin

So, with her figure and face, I suppose that's some sort of personal sexual attraction... whereas her personality (or him for girls) is much deeper and possibly on a related but different level.

 

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Robotic Jew

Depends on what you're planning on doing with the person.

 

If it's purely sexual then looks. If it's a more meaningful relationship it's personality.

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RAyMO

bank account :rolleyes:

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Robotic Jew
6 minutes ago, and then said:

They made a movie about this ;) 

SHALLOW HAL

It's hilarious and thought-provoking.

Ah. Back when fat-shaming was mainstream.

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XenoFish

"Grab a shovel." Said the necromancer, "we're going to go dig ourselves up some dates."

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Coil
14 minutes ago, pallidin said:

Those are great points.

I also look intensely at one's figure, personality and face.

Also, voice... perhaps that's a subset of personality.

 


Once I met a girl in the subway she was of incredible beauty and it seemed to me that if she had come to any beauty contest she would have won without a doubt any of them. Timeless, out of fashion, out of era, the highest natural beauty.

 

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pallidin
Just now, RAyMO said:

bank account :rolleyes:

That is true.

Some are drawn to wealth and/or power.

But besides that, WHAT attracts a normal human towards another in a decidedly passionate way?

Looks, personality, both?

 

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XenoFish

oxu8itpyu0f01.jpg

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pallidin

It is so beautiful to see 2 people get-together for the first time, be gentle with each other, and go-on to have a great relationship.

We are lonely...

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pallidin

If I may...

 

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XenoFish

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Coil


What is beauty?

Spoiler


Beauty is a form of Divine Bliss expressed in physical form.

Beauty reproduces, expresses, manifests the Eternal. Her role is to bring all manifested nature into contact with the Eternal through the perfection of form, through harmony and the sense of the ideal, which elevates and leads to something higher.

In the world of forms, the lack of Beauty is as big a flaw as the lack of Truth in the world of ideas. For Beauty is the worship that Nature gives to the supreme Lord of the universe; Beauty is a divine form language. Consciousness of the Divine, which is not expressed outwardly by the understanding and manifestation of Beauty, would be inferior consciousness.

But true Beauty is just as difficult to discover, understand, and especially realize as any other expression of the Divine; this discovery and this expression require the same impersonality and renunciation of egoism as the discovery of Truth or Bliss. Pure Beauty is universal, and one must universalize oneself in order to see and recognize it.

 

 

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sci-nerd

When I meet a woman I'm attracted to, it totally messes me up. I hate it. I'm not me when I'm attracted. So I avoid it at all costs.

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RAyMO
Posted (edited)
20 minutes ago, pallidin said:

That is true.

Some are drawn to wealth and/or power.

But besides that, WHAT attracts a normal human towards another in a decidedly passionate way?

Looks, personality, both?

 

Ahh - sex appeal you mean?

Probably just chemistry

Edited by RAyMO

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pallidin
26 minutes ago, sci-nerd said:

When I meet a woman I'm attracted to, it totally messes me up. I hate it. I'm not me when I'm attracted. So I avoid it at all costs.

Dear friend, perhaps in one of those awkward but special moments, you may find her attracted to you.

 

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sci-nerd
Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, pallidin said:

Dear friend, perhaps in one of those awkward but special moments, you may find her attracted to you.

I never considered that a possible option. But nevermind that. I don't want to be around people, that make me feel awkward.

Edited by sci-nerd
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pallidin
34 minutes ago, sci-nerd said:

When I meet a woman I'm attracted to, it totally messes me up. I hate it. I'm not me when I'm attracted. So I avoid it at all costs.

Perhaps this can help...

Remember that women can most definitely be as shy as you are.

We're all human, no matter how we look.

All you need to do is say, truthfully, these 3 words... "I'm kinda shy"

She WILL immediately pick-up on that and, if further interested, she will start talking to you more than before.

That's a signal of friendship.

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sci-nerd

@pallidin so you've taken up the task to be my love doctor, eh?

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pallidin

Just concerned, as relationships can be difficult to establish, but often rewarding beyond even one's own expectations.

Women are incredibly precious, and for us as males should be sought after as a life-partner.

You CAN do it. There are countless women whom would love to be with you. Find them.

 

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Big Jim
Posted (edited)

I'd say looks and personality are of equal importance, to the point where people can get by on either one, exclusively.  Most of us are looking for the right combination, but that's very personal and often indescribable.   We don't even know ourselves what we are looking for.  So many times a person thinks they are attracted to or looking for a certain type and then someone comes along who is not even close and blows us away.  In addition to looks, personality and voice, let's not forget smell.  Of all of the above that's what lingers longest in our memory when they are gone, so it must also play a role in the beginning.

Edited by Big Jim
typo
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