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Still Waters

Humans aren’t designed to be happy

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RabidMongoose
1 minute ago, Sheltie said:

I believe life is what you make of it.  I've always considered myself to be a fairly happy person but, as a previous poster has already stated, I probably set the bar a little lower than some.  As LightAngel stated, I also hate it when people try to be judgmental and analytical and shove us into little boxes. 

My MBTI personality type is INFP and my significant other is an ESTJ.  In all fairness, some of the stereotypes about MBTI types may be true.  I can see how I often have an almost childlike outlook on life while she has a more materialistic view.    

People all have different personality types.

A healthy approach to life is about understanding yourself and how to cope with the challenges that you face in a healthy way. Problems start when we dont have the skills to do that. Dividing problems into solvable and unsolvable lists is one approach. We then limit ourselves to fixing the solvable ones while preventing ourselves getting sucked into trying to fix the unsolvable ones.

We also need to maintain healthy identities in life and recognise when someone is trying to erode them away. That means realising when other people are being negative about us so that we dont take it onboard. That is a challenge for young children with parents that are abusive towards them. But as adults we also need to guard our identities from erosion. We have to resist the temptation to see ourselves as judgemental, analytical, childlike. Other people do not dictate to us what we are, we decide that.

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Rlyeh
12 hours ago, spartan max2 said:

Buddism (modren more secular buddism) is heavily based around the idea that suffering is part of life.

Probably the opposite of escapism. 

What is detachment then?  Escaping the karmic cycle?

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Rlyeh
12 hours ago, RabidMongoose said:

I dont think you realise just how heavily based on Buddhism psychology is.

But, you cant help everyone.

The entire concept of karma rebirth is superstition.

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RabidMongoose
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Rlyeh said:

The entire concept of karma rebirth is superstition.

With modern psychology it takes a lot of its approaches from Buddhism.

It does so not to endorse the concepts found in the religion (like karma and rebirth), but because of its usefulness in treating mental health problems. Buddhism is not simply a religion, its a collective deposit of ancient insights into how the mind works and how its affected by the problems we encounter in life. Similarly the Romans and Greeks developed Stoicism to help them.

Anyway, this is not a debate on whether God exists or if reincarnation and karma are real.

This is a debate about happiness and psychologists create happy people by putting them through mindfulness based cognitive behavioural therapy. They developed that from Buddhism. CBT is about getting people to see that their thinking patterns are unhealthy and the source of their unhappiness (or other issues). Then it teaches them how to better manage their minds. Then as the negative changes they made to their brains with their unhealthy thinking patterns atrophy away, they emerge as happy people (or free of their issues).

Edited by RabidMongoose
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XenoFish

I just love it when the happy through brigade comes into a thread and tells people to "just be happy." 

I hate the cult of happiness. I hate how happiness is sold to the masses as some inane cure all and imaginary standard. Because if you're not happy, you're a bad person. You need pills, you need to buy this book or you've got some mental illness that can be cashed in on. Nah, screw all that. You need religion. Because religious people are happy, be like them, be happy, happy, happy. Think happy thoughts, because if you're not happy, you might as well be dead. 

God I love pessimism. Set the freaking bar low, real low, underground low. Looking at the dark bleak side of life has taught me to not worry. Because I acknowledge that it can be worse, might even become worse. I look at life pessimistically. Acknowledging "If it can go wrong, it will go wrong." this saves me from high hopes and great disappointment. When I give it my all it will either work or it won't. If it doesn't, my feelings are not hurt. If it does. I'm pleasantly surprised. I can not put myself on the positive thinking cycle. To keep my hopes up, hope to me is just a wish, a childish desire that is used to avoid the worst case scenario. I'd rather dive right into the worst and figure out how to prepare/deal with it before hand. Setting myself up for less of a failure, rather than being ill prepared because I "hope for the best". 

Yes I am a pessimist. 

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Sheltie
42 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

I just love it when the happy through brigade comes into a thread and tells people to "just be happy." 

I hate the cult of happiness. I hate how happiness is sold to the masses as some inane cure all and imaginary standard. Because if you're not happy, you're a bad person. You need pills, you need to buy this book or you've got some mental illness that can be cashed in on. Nah, screw all that. You need religion. Because religious people are happy, be like them, be happy, happy, happy. Think happy thoughts, because if you're not happy, you might as well be dead. 

God I love pessimism. Set the freaking bar low, real low, underground low. Looking at the dark bleak side of life has taught me to not worry. Because I acknowledge that it can be worse, might even become worse. I look at life pessimistically. Acknowledging "If it can go wrong, it will go wrong." this saves me from high hopes and great disappointment. When I give it my all it will either work or it won't. If it doesn't, my feelings are not hurt. If it does. I'm pleasantly surprised. I can not put myself on the positive thinking cycle. To keep my hopes up, hope to me is just a wish, a childish desire that is used to avoid the worst case scenario. I'd rather dive right into the worst and figure out how to prepare/deal with it before hand. Setting myself up for less of a failure, rather than being ill prepared because I "hope for the best". 

Yes I am a pessimist. 

I'm not selling anything and I couldn't care less how you feel about my personal beliefs.    

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spartan max2
1 hour ago, XenoFish said:

I just love it when the happy through brigade comes into a thread and tells people to "just be happy." 

I hate the cult of happiness. I hate how happiness is sold to the masses as some inane cure all and imaginary standard. Because if you're not happy, you're a bad person. You need pills, you need to buy this book or you've got some mental illness that can be cashed in on. Nah, screw all that. You need religion. Because religious people are happy, be like them, be happy, happy, happy. Think happy thoughts, because if you're not happy, you might as well be dead. 

God I love pessimism. Set the freaking bar low, real low, underground low. Looking at the dark bleak side of life has taught me to not worry. Because I acknowledge that it can be worse, might even become worse. I look at life pessimistically. Acknowledging "If it can go wrong, it will go wrong." this saves me from high hopes and great disappointment. When I give it my all it will either work or it won't. If it doesn't, my feelings are not hurt. If it does. I'm pleasantly surprised. I can not put myself on the positive thinking cycle. To keep my hopes up, hope to me is just a wish, a childish desire that is used to avoid the worst case scenario. I'd rather dive right into the worst and figure out how to prepare/deal with it before hand. Setting myself up for less of a failure, rather than being ill prepared because I "hope for the best". 

Yes I am a pessimist. 

A person can be both a pessimist and happy.

Pessimism is just a framework for seeing the world. 

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XenoFish
6 minutes ago, spartan max2 said:

A person can be both a pessimist and happy.

Pessimism is just a framework for seeing the world. 

I find it a lot easier to deal with life when I don't expect anything from it. When I acknowledge what can go wrong, I can mentally, emotionally, and physically prepare for it. However, I'm not sold on this idea where I have to be happy 25/7. 

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'Walt' E. Kurtz
On 2019-07-19 at 5:22 PM, acute said:

Xeno will love this thread!

This will make him happy 

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Big Jim
2 hours ago, XenoFish said:

I just love it when the happy through brigade comes into a thread and tells people to "just be happy." 

I hate the cult of happiness. I hate how happiness is sold to the masses as some inane cure all and imaginary standard. Because if you're not happy, you're a bad person. You need pills, you need to buy this book or you've got some mental illness that can be cashed in on. Nah, screw all that. You need religion. Because religious people are happy, be like them, be happy, happy, happy. Think happy thoughts, because if you're not happy, you might as well be dead. 

God I love pessimism. Set the freaking bar low, real low, underground low. Looking at the dark bleak side of life has taught me to not worry. Because I acknowledge that it can be worse, might even become worse. I look at life pessimistically. Acknowledging "If it can go wrong, it will go wrong." this saves me from high hopes and great disappointment. When I give it my all it will either work or it won't. If it doesn't, my feelings are not hurt. If it does. I'm pleasantly surprised. I can not put myself on the positive thinking cycle. To keep my hopes up, hope to me is just a wish, a childish desire that is used to avoid the worst case scenario. I'd rather dive right into the worst and figure out how to prepare/deal with it before hand. Setting myself up for less of a failure, rather than being ill prepared because I "hope for the best". 

Yes I am a pessimist. 

Whatever makes you happy.

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Big Jim
6 hours ago, RabidMongoose said:

With modern psychology it takes a lot of its approaches from Buddhism

Does psychology borrow from Buddhism or did they arrive at the same conclusions independently?  Many solutions that appear similar are invented independently in different places and times because they work.  The human mind is essentially the same everywhere and so will be it's approach to solving problems.  The names change.  One is called religion and the other science, but they seek to produce similar results.  

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godnodog

"Chasing the happiness dream is a very American concept, exported to the rest of the world through popular culture."

Oh yes cause happinesss was invented in the USA somewhere in the 19th century, the rest of the world didn't even grasp the slightest idea of the concept.

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openozy

What I've seen the more wealth you have, the more miserable you are.Some of the happiest people I've found are those living a simple life with virtually no possessions.

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LightAngel
Posted (edited)
On 20.7.2019 at 6:02 AM, OverSword said:

I have a friend with a 12 year old son who has attempted suicide several times. Won’t go into why but will say he and people his age are very impressionable. God forbid that someone like him were to read this garbage telling us we’re not meant to be happy and to not even try.

 

This article is pseudoscience of the worst kind because we know very little about the brain, etc. (I don't want to write a whole science post here). 

The best thing we can do for children is to teach them to think for themselves and question everything they read - and let them be children, let them use their imagination.

Many children are being brainwashed from an early age, and it can destroy their ability to think for themselves.

They will become slaves instead of designers of their own lives.

We are designed to take responsibility for our own life.

And happiness/balance in our life is an important part of our survival.

 

Edited by LightAngel
Guess? lol
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'Walt' E. Kurtz
Posted (edited)

As the Finns say a person who smiles is either drunk or Swedish :-D 

Edited by Impedancer
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Coil

Why destroy a message that shows the blissful essence of the person he possesses, from which he came out and to which he will come in the future?

 

For who could live or breath if there were not this delight of existence as the ether in which we dwell?

From Delight all these are born,by Delight they exist and grow, to Delight they return.
Taittiriya Upanishads

Chapter XI Delight of Existence: The Problem

The name of That is the Delight; as the Delight we must wor-ship and seek after It.

Chapter XII Delight of Existence: The Solution

The final elimination of suffering will be an essential point in the predestined victory of the soul over the subordination of Matter and over the egoistic limitation in the Mind.

https://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/21-22TheLifeDivine.pdf

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LightAngel
On 22.7.2019 at 3:55 AM, openozy said:

What I've seen the more wealth you have, the more miserable you are.Some of the happiest people I've found are those living a simple life with virtually no possessions.

 

I agree.

Although there are exceptions. :yes:

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Alchopwn
On 7/20/2019 at 4:01 AM, XenoFish said:

I think people actually confuse contentment with happiness. Happiness is a fleeting emotion. 

Actually contentment is a synonym for happiness.

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RabidMongoose
On ‎22‎/‎07‎/‎2019 at 2:55 AM, openozy said:

What I've seen the more wealth you have, the more miserable you are.Some of the happiest people I've found are those living a simple life with virtually no possessions.

Another neurotic post attempting to devalue wealthy people in order to prevent dents to ones ego.

Lack of financial security is a huge source of unhappiness in life, a lack of money to buy everything you want and need is a source of unhappiness in life, and wealthy people are free from both.

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openozy
2 minutes ago, RabidMongoose said:

Another neurotic post attempting to devalue wealthy people in order to prevent dents to ones ego.

Lack of financial security is a huge source of unhappiness in life, a lack of money to buy everything you want and need is a source of unhappiness in life, and wealthy people are free from both.

I'd be the most laid back person you've ever seen goose.Wealthy people are plagued with worries:lol:

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LightAngel

It's important for all of us to have food on the table and a home.

But greed never makes anybody happy in the long run.

It's more important to find out where your real passion is.

 

 

 

 

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openozy
4 minutes ago, LightAngel said:

It's important for all of us to have food on the table and a home.

But greed never makes anybody happy in the long run.

It's more important to find out where your real passion is.

 

 

 

 

That's what I have achieved Light Angel,I have a small farm and have my interest in my dogs and don't have to go out to work.I'm 55 but look a lot younger:wub: lol.

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LightAngel
7 minutes ago, openozy said:

That's what I have achieved Light Angel,I have a small farm and have my interest in my dogs and don't have to go out to work.I'm 55 but look a lot younger:wub: lol.

 

Wonderful! :wub: 

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openozy
1 hour ago, LightAngel said:

 

Wonderful! :wub: 

Sweet.:wub:

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Desertrat56
2 hours ago, RabidMongoose said:

Another neurotic post attempting to devalue wealthy people in order to prevent dents to ones ego.

Lack of financial security is a huge source of unhappiness in life, a lack of money to buy everything you want and need is a source of unhappiness in life, and wealthy people are free from both.

There has to be balance.  If anything is off balance either way it causes misery.  But I agree with you.  When I was a kid some preachers claimed that the semi/partial/mis-quote of a mistranslation "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than a rich man to get into heaven" mean you should give all your money to the church so that you would get in to heaven.  It is a manipulation for sure.

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