Cosmicfrannie88 Posted August 28, 2019 #1 Share Posted August 28, 2019 Don’t get it twisted even I didn’t understand what I see when looking in the mirror. I don’t know how to explain it but I knew that I needed to see myself much deeper. I’m a warrior, bullheaded and empathetic, self obsessed because I’m striving to figure out why what you see is, A survivor of horrors unimaginable, a souljah that’s fought lifetimes for you, a woman of perseverance, intelligence that goes beyond your security clearance, Moral integrity intertwined in essence, And my unpredictability that will run the interference. I have training that was ment to break me but instead I used it to make me. Don’t hate me, instead of being jealous realize I was courageous, you were not made for this. Your plan is something different. You don’t want this! It comes with tons of pain and sadness. Trust issues and loneliness Misunderstandings and sleep paralysis. Nefarious People always in your business It’s outrageous! So please don’t be jealous IM HARMLESS UNLESS YOU FEAR JUSTICE! I MEAN IT!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenoFish Posted August 28, 2019 #2 Share Posted August 28, 2019 Shouldn't this be in introductions? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim Reaper 6 Posted August 28, 2019 #3 Share Posted August 28, 2019 8 minutes ago, Cosmicfrannie88 said: Don’t get it twisted even I didn’t understand what I see when looking in the mirror. I don’t know how to explain it but I knew that I needed to see myself much deeper. I’m a warrior, bullheaded and empathetic, self obsessed because I’m striving to figure out why what you see is, A survivor of horrors unimaginable, a souljah that’s fought lifetimes for you, a woman of perseverance, intelligence that goes beyond your security clearance, Moral integrity intertwined in essence, And my unpredictability that will run the interference. I have training that was ment to break me but instead I used it to make me. Don’t hate me, instead of being jealous realize I was courageous, you were not made for this. Your plan is something different. You don’t want this! It comes with tons of pain and sadness. Trust issues and loneliness Misunderstandings and sleep paralysis. Nefarious People always in your business It’s outrageous! So please don’t be jealous IM HARMLESS UNLESS YOU FEAR JUSTICE! I MEAN IT!! Ok I beleive you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scholar4Truth Posted August 28, 2019 #4 Share Posted August 28, 2019 This sounds like a poem or song lyrics. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Guitar Posted August 29, 2019 #5 Share Posted August 29, 2019 Sounds like the OP has, like myself, some serious PTSD issues and is just trying to figure it all out. I've been trying to figure it all out for 50 years since my all expense paid trip to Vietnam in '68 and '69. We were trained to do things and endure things that the average person can't imagine and, if her security clearance was anything like mine, a lot of things have to bottled up and never set free. Stay strong, my sister - there are some of us out there on your side and truly understand. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim Reaper 6 Posted August 29, 2019 #6 Share Posted August 29, 2019 8 minutes ago, Mr Guitar said: Sounds like the OP has, like myself, some serious PTSD issues and is just trying to figure it all out. I've been trying to figure it all out for 50 years since my all expense paid trip to Vietnam in '68 and '69. We were trained to do things and endure things that the average person can't imagine and, if her security clearance was anything like mine, a lot of things have to bottled up and never set free. Stay strong, my sister - there are some of us out there on your side and truly understand. I didn't think of that possible but it does make sense. I also suffer from PTSD, I spent 23 years in the Army. I had two tours of duty in Iraq and I was also in Smoalia not to mention other small tours of duty in other wonderful places. It certainly takes it toll on you, when I retired, I received 100% disability from the VA and part of it was for PTSD. Take care and you stay strong also. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toast Posted August 29, 2019 #7 Share Posted August 29, 2019 "Who am I, and if yes, how many?" Title of a book written by Richard David Precht, German Philosopher and publicist. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim Reaper 6 Posted August 29, 2019 #8 Share Posted August 29, 2019 38 minutes ago, toast said: "Who am I, and if yes, how many?" Title of a book written by Richard David Precht, German Philosopher and publicist. That explains everything, so it's a book. Good thing your around I don't have the culture to think of something like that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Not A Rockstar Posted August 29, 2019 #9 Share Posted August 29, 2019 PTSD is a butch. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim Reaper 6 Posted August 29, 2019 #10 Share Posted August 29, 2019 1 minute ago, Not A Rockstar said: PTSD is a butch. Yes it certainly is, for most the most part I have it under control but it really messes with your sleep. I still happen into situation where I flash back, but I have learned to just sit down close my and regain control. take care 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Not A Rockstar Posted August 29, 2019 #11 Share Posted August 29, 2019 9 hours ago, Manwon Lender said: Yes it certainly is, for most the most part I have it under control but it really messes with your sleep. I still happen into situation where I flash back, but I have learned to just sit down close my and regain control. take care Yeah, recently I have been doing one of the marathons of sleeplessness, but managed to finally get four hours this morning. Haven't had the flashback episodes for a long time, though, and I don't miss them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scholar4Truth Posted August 29, 2019 #12 Share Posted August 29, 2019 (edited) Having reread this post, my mom has PTSD from serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. I know these emotions from experience its like roller-coaster. One day she is happy, the next she is agitated and does not want to talk to anyone. Thankfully she takes meds and sees her therapist once a month, so its helped her tremendously. Edited August 29, 2019 by Scholar4Truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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