Maladaptive Daydreaming

[Aquila King]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and make myself super vulnerable by sharing this with all of you. But I do feel it to be something important that needs more awareness of, so imma share it here anyway...

Just a few months ago I discovered by mere happenstance the existence of an incredibly rare little known condition called "Maladaptive Daydreaming" -

Quote

Maladaptive daydreaming, also known as excessive daydreaming, is a disordered form of dissociative absorption associated with vivid and excessive fantasy activity that often involves elaborate and fanciful scenarios. It can result in distress, can replace human interaction and may interfere with normal functioning such as social life or work. People who suffer from maladaptive daydreaming can spend more than half their days in "vivid alternative universes".

Maladaptive daydreaming is typically associated with stereotypical movements, such as pacing or rocking, and the need for musical stimulation. One of the lead researchers of maladaptive daydreaming and the person who coined the term is University of Haifa professor Eli Somer. Somer's definition of the condition is “extensive fantasy activity that replaces human interaction and/or interferes with academic, interpersonal, or vocational functioning.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maladaptive_daydreaming?wprov=sfla1

That blew my mind when I first heard about it, as I realized that this was me. I had that. I am a "Maladaptive Daydreamer." I had never yet fully encountered something that so perfectly and succinctly described what I've been going through throughout the course of my life.

Here's also a short video to help you get a better grasp on what the condition actually is:

Those who know me here, know I've unfortunately had to deal with a lot of trauma as a kid. So in order to cope with all the stress, I'd learned to dive into my own little fantasy world in my head. I'll often regularly spend hours of my day daydreaming about a fictional life and fictional world with fictional characters that don't exist. I'll regularly pace back and forth and back and forth and back and forth all day long, daydreaming like a lunatic madman until my feet hurt and I don't think I could do anymore, but I keep on doing it anyway.

I'm 100% fully aware that my daydreams aren't real, yet rather than face the harsh reality I'm living in and try to improve my real life, I find it preferable to daydream about a alternative better life. Rather than seek real world relationships, I chose to imagine fictional ones since they're easier. Rather than taking steps to improve my life and secure a future for myself via a good career or schooling, I chose to merely imagine what it'd be like if I already had all that and was successful at it. Rather than find true love, I've merely imagined an idealized lover for myself. Rather than actually having a life, I merely imagine a life...

I thought for the longest time that I was the only person in the world who was literally addicted to daydreaming. I had been to countless doctors and psychologists, who all gave me different diagnoses, but none ever quite perfectly encapsulated what I was truly dealing with here. I merely happened to stumble across a Reddit post a few months ago casually mentioning this "Maladaptive Daydreaming" thing, and after reading the description of it, it was like the light bulb went on. I finally knew what I was dealing with, and that I wasn't alone.

After doing my best to study this thing and potential treatments for it, I've decided to take the first steps on fighting this thing. I can't keep on barely living with this condition as it is now. It has completely destroyed my life...

I'm currently seeking professional help from a therapist, and am due tomorrow there to talk about various strategies and options I have to actually secure a better future for myself. Thank you all for reading my story to this point. 

I just thought this little known condition needed to be put into the spotlight, and that more people needed to be made aware of it, so, here you go.

[Piney]

@Piney's_Little_Ninja   this might interest you. 

[docyabut2]

Daydreaming is the same of dreams of  self analysis.:)

[Mr Walker]

5 hours ago, Aquila King said:

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and make myself super vulnerable by sharing this with all of you. But I do feel it to be something important that needs more awareness of, so imma share it here anyway...

Just a few months ago I discovered by mere happenstance the existence of an incredibly rare little known condition called "Maladaptive Daydreaming" -

That blew my mind when I first heard about it, as I realized that this was me. I had that. I am a "Maladaptive Daydreamer." I had never yet fully encountered something that so perfectly and succinctly described what I've been going through throughout the course of my life.

Here's also a short video to help you get a better grasp on what the condition actually is:

Those who know me here, know I've unfortunately had to deal with a lot of trauma as a kid. So in order to cope with all the stress, I'd learned to dive into my own little fantasy world in my head. I'll often regularly spend hours of my day daydreaming about a fictional life and fictional world with fictional characters that don't exist. I'll regularly pace back and forth and back and forth and back and forth all day long, daydreaming like a lunatic madman until my feet hurt and I don't think I could do anymore, but I keep on doing it anyway.

I'm 100% fully aware that my daydreams aren't real, yet rather than face the harsh reality I'm living in and try to improve my real life, I find it preferable to daydream about a alternative better life. Rather than seek real world relationships, I chose to imagine fictional ones since they're easier. Rather than taking steps to improve my life and secure a future for myself via a good career or schooling, I chose to merely imagine what it'd be like if I already had all that and was successful at it. Rather than find true love, I've merely imagined an idealized lover for myself. Rather than actually having a life, I merely imagine a life...

I thought for the longest time that I was the only person in the world who was literally addicted to daydreaming. I had been to countless doctors and psychologists, who all gave me different diagnoses, but none ever quite perfectly encapsulated what I was truly dealing with here. I merely happened to stumble across a Reddit post a few months ago casually mentioning this "Maladaptive Daydreaming" thing, and after reading the description of it, it was like the light bulb went on. I finally knew what I was dealing with, and that I wasn't alone.

After doing my best to study this thing and potential treatments for it, I've decided to take the first steps on fighting this thing. I can't keep on barely living with this condition as it is now. It has completely destroyed my life...

I'm currently seeking professional help from a therapist, and am due tomorrow there to talk about various strategies and options I have to actually secure a better future for myself. Thank you all for reading my story to this point. 

I just thought this little known condition needed to be put into the spotlight, and that more people needed to be made aware of it, so, here you go.

Very interesting and informative

I am not able to day dream, however my night dreams fulfil the same purpose, but   in a positive and constructive form.

As long as one recognises the nature and purpose of dreams, and day dreams, and utilises them constructively, rather than as an escape from  the responsibilities of  real life, I think the y are a very positive function of the human mind.   I guess this is why this  type is labeled MALADAPTIVE 

point of interest.

Has anyone  (professionally) suggested to you that addictive gaming is a form of this, where the fantasy can be acted out online,  and used to shut out the real world while in the game world?  

Edited September 16, 2019 by Mr Walker

[+Desertrat56]

I read the stories of James Thurber when I was young.  I could see Walter Mitty's all over the place, I suspect my mother was one.  I think the problem stems from low self esteem due to child hood trauma and not enough external mental stimulation or the inability to extract themselves from bad situations as an adult.  I have dabble in this behavior when stuck in a car on a long ride, or unable to sleep.  Daytime daydreaming was never a problem (except in a boring class at school)  Maybe too much has been made of this or maybe I am too judgemental.  I also have a problem with people who proclaim their boredom when there are plenty of things they could think about.  It is two ends of an extreme.

@Aquila King I recommend you find a book of James Thurbur's short stories.  As crazy as they are I think you would enjoy them.  If you are on the internet interacting with us you can take that to the library or join a meetup.com group that gets you interacting face to face.  I can't even imagine someone who has time to spend hours during the day pacing around in an intricate daydream.  Blessings to you.

P.S.  Have you tried writing?  I think that is exactly how James Thurber worked his fantastic daydreams out into something productive.  I think a lot of published writers do that.

Edited September 16, 2019 by Desertrat56
P.S.

[spartan max2]

Glad you are bringing it to people's attention.

Idk if I would neccesairly say it's not recognized by the psyche community.

It sounds like a disassociation disorder. 

Edited September 16, 2019 by spartan max2

[Tatetopa]

25 minutes ago, Desertrat56 said:

P.S.  Have you tried writing?  I think that is exactly how James Thurber worked his fantastic daydreams out into something productive.  I think a lot of published writers do that.

I would bet that Harry Potter and Game of Thrones started out as daydreams before they ever got written down.

[Tatetopa]

14 hours ago, Aquila King said:

I'm currently seeking professional help from a therapist, and am due tomorrow there to talk about various strategies and options I have to actually secure a better future for myself. Thank you all for reading my story to this point. 

We are pulling for you.  Let us know how it goes.

[+Desertrat56]

I also want to say that just because someone created a "diagnosis" for something that you can identify with does not mean that diagnosis is something wrong with you, possibly it could be something misunderstood by you about yourself and/or others.  There has to be a reason you have so much time on your hands.  I think that is the first place to look.

[Aquila King]

14 hours ago, Mr Walker said:

Has anyone  (professionally) suggested to you that addictive gaming is a form of this, where the fantasy can be acted out online,  and used to shut out the real world while in the game world?  

Just to be clear to anyone reading Walker's comment here - addictive gaming and gaming in general is different than MD. Take it from me, someone with MD who loves videogames. MD often prevents a person from being able to play videogames, cause you're too busy daydreaming about them (or anything else really).

That's the problem with MD. It essentially replaces real life activities (even leisurely time activities like gaming) with daydreaming. Rather than do whatever it is, you daydream about doing it. That's the problem.

Once again, Walker doesn't have the first clue what he's talking about here. 

[Aquila King]

6 hours ago, spartan max2 said:

Idk if I would neccesairly say it's not recognized by the psyche community. 

What I mean by that is that it isn't an officially recognized diagnosis in the DSM-V. Many psychologists who know about it do recognize it though as a real condition.

The main debate is simply whether or not it should be considered it's own disorder, or merely the symptoms of some other psychiatric disorder.

Regardless, it describes what I and many others go through, so it's helpful to know.

[+Desertrat56]

3 minutes ago, Aquila King said:

What I mean by that is that it isn't an officially recognized diagnosis in the DSM-V. Many psychologists who know about it do recognize it though as a real condition.

The main debate is simply whether or not it should be considered it's own disorder, or merely the symptoms of some other psychiatric disorder.

Regardless, it describes what I and many others go through, so it's helpful to know.

My opinion is that it is a symptom of something else, not it's own disorder.  You could probably get some cognitive therapy or other therapy addressing your trauma and the MD would lessen or become manageable.  Just out of curiosity, do you choose to sit at home and day dream instead of going to work or school?

[Aquila King]

6 hours ago, Desertrat56 said:

I recommend you find a book of James Thurbur's short stories.  As crazy as they are I think you would enjoy them. 

Thanks for the recommendation. I'll certainly give them a look. 

6 hours ago, Desertrat56 said:

Have you tried writing?  I think that is exactly how James Thurber worked his fantastic daydreams out into something productive.  I think a lot of published writers do that.

Actually I have. Writing has always been a natural talent for me. I just never had enough confidence in my own ability to write fiction to spend much time practicing that skill. Oddly enough, I'm much better at writing non-fiction (as I do on this forum).  I also prefer reading non-fiction books over fictional ones.

4 hours ago, Desertrat56 said:

There has to be a reason you have so much time on your hands.  I think that is the first place to look.

I have so much time on my hands because of the Maladaptive Daydreaming.

If you're suggesting I simply "get busier," then no, it's not as simple as that.

[+Desertrat56]

10 minutes ago, Aquila King said:

Thanks for the recommendation. I'll certainly give them a look. 

Actually I have. Writing has always been a natural talent for me. I just never had enough confidence in my own ability to write fiction to spend much time practicing that skill. Oddly enough, I'm much better at writing non-fiction (as I do on this forum).  I also prefer reading non-fiction books over fictional ones.

I have so much time on my hands because of the Maladaptive Daydreaming.

If you're suggesting I simply "get busier," then no, it's not as simple as that.

I hope you find help somewhere.

[XenoFish]

AK take my comment with a grain of salt. But bro, you've got to get some serious help with facing reality. You can't live your life in such an escapism way. Find someone who can help you. And Good Luck. 

[Aquila King]

3 minutes ago, Desertrat56 said:

My opinion is that it is a symptom of something else, not it's own disorder.  You could probably get some cognitive therapy or other therapy addressing your trauma and the MD would lessen or become manageable.

We can all speculate and hypothesize about the cause of MD, but there's simply not enough research into MD to adequately determine the exact cause.

Regardless of the cause, I'm personally working with my therapist on managing the symptoms, and better getting my life on track.

6 minutes ago, Desertrat56 said:

Just out of curiosity, do you choose to sit at home and day dream instead of going to work or school?

Forgive me for being a bit defensive due to this being a sensitive subject for me, but this sounds like an underhanded attempt to shame me for being unemployed.

Yes, I'm unemployed and living at home with my mother. I've been unfairly criticized repeatedly in the past by numerous people who know nothing about me or my situation, for being "lazy" and a "mooch" or whatever other kind of nonsensical smear people come up with to disparage the unemployed. Regardless, it's incredibly ignorant to my situation.

I've worked multiple jobs in the past. One of which being a factory job lifting steel wheels all day, 5 to 6 days a week, 10 to 12 hour shifts every day. It was hard back breaking work, and it was a job that I myself got all on my own. If I were merely "lazy" then I wouldn't have willingly worked there for the better part of a year.

No, the reason why I'm unemployed is precisely because I had an extreme inability to focus due to involuntary daydreams distracting me from the work I was doing. I ended up making multiple mistakes on the job due to zoning out, and almost lost my left index finger which got lodged and broken in one of the machines. I was zoned out and not paying attention.

My point in all this being, that just "staying busy" and "getting a job" isn't going to fix my mental condition. So if you're insinuating that to be some sort of solution is to show complete ignorance to the reality of my situation.

You may not being saying that at all. I'm just saying all this preemptively in case you are. I've beaten myself up heavily before due to the hateful rhetoric from some people who just want to slander the mentally ill as immoral or lazy, when in reality we're just sick and looking for help...

[Aquila King]

4 minutes ago, XenoFish said:

AK take my comment with a grain of salt. But bro, you've got to get some serious help with facing reality. You can't live your life in such an escapism way. Find someone who can help you. And Good Luck. 

Thankfully I have. I've been working with a new therapist, and am well on my way to recover now that I know what I'm actually dealing with. 

Thanks for the consideration.

[XenoFish]

1 minute ago, Aquila King said:

Thankfully I have. I've been working with a new therapist, and am well on my way to recover now that I know what I'm actually dealing with. 

Thanks for the consideration.

Some times we can fight stuff alone, other times we can't. I shouldn't have. So be better than me. 

[+Desertrat56]

4 minutes ago, Aquila King said:

We can all speculate and hypothesize about the cause of MD, but there's simply not enough research into MD to adequately determine the exact cause.

Regardless of the cause, I'm personally working with my therapist on managing the symptoms, and better getting my life on track.

Forgive me for being a bit defensive due to this being a sensitive subject for me, but this sounds like an underhanded attempt to shame me for being unemployed.

Yes, I'm unemployed and living at home with my mother. I've been unfairly criticized repeatedly in the past by numerous people who know nothing about me or my situation, for being "lazy" and a "mooch" or whatever other kind of nonsensical smear people come up with to disparage the unemployed. Regardless, it's incredibly ignorant to my situation.

I've worked multiple jobs in the past. One of which being a factory job lifting steel wheels all day, 5 to 6 days a week, 10 to 12 hour shifts every day. It was hard back breaking work, and it was a job that I myself got all on my own. If I were merely "lazy" then I wouldn't have willingly worked there for the better part of a year.

No, the reason why I'm unemployed is precisely because I had an extreme inability to focus due to involuntary daydreams distracting me from the work I was doing. I ended up making multiple mistakes on the job due to zoning out, and almost lost my left index finger which got lodged and broken in one of the machines. I was zoned out and not paying attention.

My point in all this being, that just "staying busy" and "getting a job" isn't going to fix my mental condition. So if you're insinuating that to be some sort of solution is to show complete ignorance to the reality of my situation.

You may not being saying that at all. I'm just saying all this preemptively in case you are. I've beaten myself up heavily before due to the hateful rhetoric from some people who just want to slander the mentally ill as immoral or lazy, when in reality we're just sick and looking for help...

Please don't ever take something personal from me if it is a question.  If I actually accuse you of something it might be personal.  This is something I have never seen before to the extent that you describe it and I am curious.  You mentioned that you had experienced trauma and I know everyone has a different way of dealing or not dealing with trauma.  I have opinions like everyone and I will never tell you I know something that I don't know.  If your therapist is not addressing the trauma then I am curious about that as well, since that seems to be the driving force for a lot of different issues people have. AND you have the option of not answering my questions or telling me you don't want to answer them.

And I only suggested being busy because I don't understand, but then I don't understand retired people who get bored after 2 weeks either as I have such a long list of things that never get done I expect I will be busy for 15 years after I retire.   (and that is not the same thing as suggesting someone get a job, I don't know if you have a job or not, maybe you don't need a job, I wouldn't have one if I didn't need to) I apologize if you took offense to that since I did not mean to offend. 

There was a time when my brother had to move home with the parents because he could not work.  It was a different mental issue than you describe but he was incapacitated and people did not understand.  He eventually was ok again enough to work and have his own place but he never really recovered because of all the drugs... "let's try this and let's try that" that never helped.

 

[Aquila King]

@Desertrat56 Nor worries. Like I said, I'm just really sensitive about it. Didn't mean to be defensive. We're cool. 

[Mr Walker]

5 hours ago, Aquila King said:

Just to be clear to anyone reading Walker's comment here - addictive gaming and gaming in general is different than MD. Take it from me, someone with MD who loves videogames. MD often prevents a person from being able to play videogames, cause you're too busy daydreaming about them (or anything else really).

That's the problem with MD. It essentially replaces real life activities (even leisurely time activities like gaming) with daydreaming. Rather than do whatever it is, you daydream about doing it. That's the problem.

Once again, Walker doesn't have the first clue what he's talking about here. 

lol I was asking a question

I have no idea, nor any experience in this, but have  read that addictive gaming creates many of the same habitualised behaviours and problems outlined in your post.  It becomes an escape from reality 

No, my question was asking for information as to whether  any of the professionals you consulted has made such a connection  

Ps i played wow online through to the highest possible level with half a dozen characters, often staying up all night to play but it never impaired my functioning nor was it an escape from reality (apart from  being a way to relax and unwind)   Ive been playing non online games for decades and completed almost all the popular series  

I once owned nearly 200 Nintendo games (original and super )  plus dozens of games from  earlier consoles like atari and coleco  and over a hundred computer based games.

It s been an interest of mine from  when the very first word based adventure games appeared on computers which still used punch cards.

  I even owned and played the original  ping pong game  by Atari  back in the ealry seventies 

Edited September 17, 2019 by Mr Walker