The 50 Worst Cars of All Time

[toast]

The 50 Worst Cars of All Time

Quotes:

Quote

Renault Dauphine:

(...) The most ineffective bit of French engineering since the Maginot Line, the Renault Dauphine was originally to be named the Corvette, tres ironie. It was, in fact, a rickety, paper-thin scandal of a car that, if you stood beside it, you could actually hear rusting. Its most salient feature was its slowness, a rate of acceleration you could measure with a calendar.

Triumph TR7 (1975):

(...) The thing had more short-circuits than a mixing board with a bong spilled on it. The carburetors had to be constantly romanced to stay in balance. Timing chains snapped. Oil and water pumps refused to pump, only suck. The sunroof leaked and the concealable headlights refused to open their peepers. One owner reports that the rear axle fell out. How does that happen? It was as if British Leyland’s workers were trying to sabotage the country’s balance of trade. Oh yeah.

Trabant :

This is the car that gave Communism a bad name. Powered by a two-stroke pollution generator that maxed out at an ear-splitting 18 hp, the Trabant was a hollow lie of a car constructed of recycled worthlessness (actually, the body was made of a fiberglass-like Duroplast, reinforced with recycled fibers like cotton and wood)

Camaro Iron Duke (1982):

There was a time when 90 horsepower was a lot, and that time was 1932. Fifty years later, it was bupkis, especially under the hood of Chevy’s beloved Mustang-fighter, the Camaro. As the base engine for the redesigned 1982 Camaro (and Pontiac Firebird), the 2.5-liter, four-cylinder “Iron Duke” was the smallest, least powerful, most un-Camaro-like engine that could be and, like the California Corvette, it was connected to a low-tech three-speed slushbox. So equipped, the Iron Duke Camaro had 0-60 mph acceleration of around 20 seconds, which left Camaro owners to drum their fingers while school buses rocketed past in a blur of yellow.

etc.

 

Edited September 22, 2019 by toast

[Space Commander Travis]

Some American smartass, I suppose. Let's see what others he's treated to his laugh-out-loud wit. 

He's mostly gone for the obscure, which, as very few people have heard of them, most people would probably know anything about to contradict him. But Lotus Elite? Triumph Stag may have had issues due to rushed development, but that's a beautiful engine. In sound, certainly. E-Type V12?? 

Jaguar ****in' X-type? The man's just a controversialist idiot. Obviously thinks of himself as the thinking man's Clarkson (all these obscure makes no one else has heard of!), but without the wit.

[Piney]

28 minutes ago, toast said:

Trabant :

Slugged through anything like a 3kph tank though. 

30 minutes ago, toast said:

Triumph TR7 (1975):

You always saw them with one lamp up and one down. 

[Piney]

1 minute ago, Dumbledore the Awesome said:

Jaguar ****in' X-type? The man's just a controversialist idiot. Obviously thinks of himself as the thinking man's Clarkson (all these obscure makes no one else has heard of!), but without the wit.

XJ-6s and XJ12s had dash wiring problems sometimes. But that's about it. I liked my XK-E. 

['Walt' E. Kurtz]

Lada and Trabant..  

[Space Commander Travis]

4 minutes ago, Impedancer said:

Lada and Trabant..  

Lada was perfect for plugging on through a Russian winter; could be repaired by the village blacksmith with a big hammer. 

[Stiff]

33 minutes ago, Piney said:

You always saw them with one lamp up and one down. 

Worked on a vacuum if I remember. I sat on one of the headlights of a brand new one when I was a kid when they first came out. Another kid switched the lights on and only one came up. I got off the car and he switched the lights off. That one went down and the other one popped up. Funny to watch as an immature child (not much has changed tbf). They settle in the end and work in unison again.

34 minutes ago, Piney said:

I liked my XK-E.

Enzo Ferrari described it as "the most beautiful car ever made" when it came out. If anyone knew anything about beautiful cars it was Enzo. I ain't gonna disagree with him. 

29 minutes ago, Dumbledore the Awesome said:

Lada was perfect for plugging on through a Russian winter

They bloody well struggled through a UK summer. My f^*%er broke down just after leaving the pub and I had to walk home. 

[Piney]

5 minutes ago, Stiff said:

Worked on a vacuum if I remember. I sat on one of the headlights of a brand new one when I was a kid when they first came out. Another kid switched the lights on and only one came up. I got off the car and he switched the lights off. That one went down and the other one popped up. Funny to watch as an immature child (not much has changed tbf). They settle in the end and work in unison again.

 

Pontiac Fieros and Firebirds worked the same way and did the same crap. 

[Space Commander Travis]

16 minutes ago, Stiff said:

Worked on a vacuum if I remember. I sat on one of the headlights of a brand new one when I was a kid when they first came out. Another kid switched the lights on and only one came up. I got off the car and he switched the lights off. That one went down and the other one popped up. Funny to watch as an immature child (not much has changed tbf). They settle in the end and work in unison again.

Enzo Ferrari described it as "the most beautiful car ever made" when it came out. If anyone knew anything about beautiful cars it was Enzo. I ain't gonna disagree with him. 

They bloody well struggled through a UK summer. My f^*%er broke down just after leaving the pub and I had to walk home. 

You weren't using the correct grade of vodka, comrade

[Stiff]

8 minutes ago, Dumbledore the Awesome said:

You weren't using the correct grade of vodka, comrade

Oh I was! Just not in the car 

[_Only]

It's weird how they included a couple Ford SUV's as worst cars of all time, simply because they were SUV's.

Also, unfair low blow to the first production car of all time. Of course, by nature, every car after it would be an improvement. I feel like being responsible for ushering in the age of automobiles trumps being mechanically shoddy, but that's just me, and probably most people.

 

['Walt' E. Kurtz]

As a swede i remember the trabi or trabant as a kid growing up in the 80s :-) its one funny car some people had to wait ten years to get it in the DDR. 

Edited September 22, 2019 by Impedancer

[toast]

BWT, people who ordered a Trabant in the 70s had to wait up to 15 years for the car.

[Stiff]

It's odd also that the Delorean is in that list. This list has it in the top ten best cars of the 80's.

https://www.thrillist.com/cars/the-10-best-cars-of-the-1980s

[Piney]

37 minutes ago, _Only said:

It's weird how they included a couple Ford SUV's as worst cars of all time, simply because they were SUV's.

Especially since Dodge Ram trucks and SUVs are trash. 

[Piney]

5 minutes ago, Stiff said:

It's odd also that the Delorean is in that list. This list has it in the top ten best cars of the 80's.

 

It came with a free kilo of coke in the boot too. 

[_Only]

50 minutes ago, Piney said:

It came with a free kilo of coke in the boot too. 

How else is it going to get to 88 mph? Pile it into the gas tank, Doc Brown style.

[_Only]

1 hour ago, Stiff said:

It's odd also that the Delorean is in that list. This list has it in the top ten best cars of the 80's.

https://www.thrillist.com/cars/the-10-best-cars-of-the-1980s

Only from what I've seen/read about that car, I gathered it fairly sits more toward the center of those 2 extreme ends of best vs. worst. It had a great look for the time, very futuristic, which was probably a huge selling point (past the obvious very popular movie it was featured in), but when it came to the actual car, as a sports car which I really feel it was shooting for, it performed/drove more like an average passenger car, say, a Honda Accord or Toyota Camry, or maybe just a bit worse. 

So it was kind of a letdown to own  as a driver, but its a probably just slightly below average car in the years it came out, but now a great collector's car for enthusiasts/pop culture fans.

[freetoroam]

Great piece, very witty reporting. This could have.come straight out of a Top Gear episode. 

I will say the worse car I have driven is the Fiat 500. An ugly little thing which I never felt safe in. Visuability was poor and the shape reminded me of a big butt. I had it as a hire car for a week while in France and was happy to give it back. 

[the13bats]

4 hours ago, Piney said:

 

Pontiac Fieros and Firebirds worked the same way and did the same crap. 

they were gear driven not vacuum, and the plastic gears would shear but the aftermarket sells bronze gears, no biggie,

normally these dis cars lists are from writers who never held a wrench and think lighted vanity mirrors and seat warmers are cool.

and installing floor mats is epic

Edited September 23, 2019 by the13bats

[the13bats]

2 hours ago, _Only said:

How else is it going to get to 88 mph? Pile it into the gas tank, Doc Brown style.

the Renault drive train killed delorean,

i liked them before dr made em cool but the way the doors were engineered gave me chills, it was super heavy had both torsion bar and gas struts, the bars would rust, if one of those doors fell on a arm or leg forget it.

['Walt' E. Kurtz]

6 hours ago, Stiff said:

It's odd also that the Delorean is in that list. This list has it in the top ten best cars of the 80's.

https://www.thrillist.com/cars/the-10-best-cars-of-the-1980s

Nae since it was trash it's not that odd. Saw one in town few years ago perhaps someone is back from the future. :-)

[Space Commander Travis]

7 hours ago, _Only said:

Only from what I've seen/read about that car, I gathered it fairly sits more toward the center of those 2 extreme ends of best vs. worst. It had a great look for the time, very futuristic, which was probably a huge selling point (past the obvious very popular movie it was featured in), but when it came to the actual car, as a sports car which I really feel it was shooting for, it performed/drove more like an average passenger car, say, a Honda Accord or Toyota Camry, or maybe just a bit worse. 

So it was kind of a letdown to own  as a driver, but its a probably just slightly below average car in the years it came out, but now a great collector's car for enthusiasts/pop culture fans.

Yes, it only had the Peugeot/Renault/Volvo V6 that was used in various more commonplace models, so its performance didn't really live up to its looks. (which is perhaps why 88 mph was chosen as a figure, as it was doubtful whether it could exceed that speed),. If they'd put a turbo on it it might have been a quite different story (look how Lotus managed to get supercar-esque performance from the Esprit, which only had a 2 litre 4 cylinder, once they'd put a turbo on it.)

Edited September 23, 2019 by Dumbledore the Awesome

[Matt221]

My dad had a renault dauphine when you put your foot down an eventually reach the break neck speed of 60 mph (on a good day) it used to try and get air born the steering was rubbish any way add to this even lighter steering do to the front wheels just touching the ground it was an unusual drive especially if the road was wet. On the other hand I had a renault 12 gourdini for a while which was a dream to drive I now have a nissan juke loads of extras but the jury's still out I fear it may join the list