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Fabula Omnium

How do you forgive

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Desertrat56
39 minutes ago, Stubbly_Dooright said:

I never realized how some could use those books for negative purposes. 

If a narcissist can use something to justify their bad behavior they can be very clever with it.

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Stubbly_Dooright
2 minutes ago, Desertrat56 said:

If a narcissist can use something to justify their bad behavior they can be very clever with it.

Wow!  

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Alchopwn
Posted (edited)
On 4/3/2020 at 6:19 PM, Angel of wrath said:

Yes, it worked for me. My father says alot of horrible stuff and can be a really nasty guy. A lifetime of this is very exhausting. The last time he said a most inexplicably awful thing to me I had had enough and I vowed I would not see or talk to him again unless he apologises. He never does. He just pretends like it never happened, but then he is a classic narcissist. Because of course I cant then see my or talk to my mum as he always answers the phone it seemed..counter productive as they are 84 and she might go soon. So even though I still felt angry and hurt, I realised he will never apologise, and truthfully doesnt even remember half the time why people all dont want him in their lives, I decided to forgive him so I can stop feeling like garbage and connect with my elderly mum. Everytime I was remembering what he said and feeling mad that he never apologises for saying the MOST outragoeous things, I feel like its just happened again. So really I needed to just let it go, and decide to forgive because my very sanity depended on it. Im not saying this is for everyone, but it worked for me, mind you it took almost a year..

I am surprised that you can't see that your father, and his failure as a human being, has caused you to seek out a father replacement figure, and that has driven you into the hands of religion.  I can see why you are an "angel of wrath"; a malignant narcissist for a father will do that to you.  All the same, when you get right down to it, is transposing your need for a decent male parent really fulfilled by Sky Stalin, plus his con artist gatekeepers you call preachers and priests?  They're narcissists too you know, they just hide it better, because its their job but they don't really do anything (other than take your money and offer you platitudes and minimal psych support).  You will probably think I am being disrespectful to you and your faith, but this is because you are falsely assuming that you and your god are the same thing at some level.  I don't see it that way.  I see you as a human being, and the fake god you have been programmed to use as an emotional crutch by a cult rather than face the real problem in your life.  I see what religion has done to you as being cruel, whereas you think it is a massive source of meaning in your life.  The problem is, when you look at it critically, religion is unable to rise anywhere close to its immense claims, whereas science makes far less grandiose claims and regularly surpasses them.  You have been tricked into another poor life choice, and I want you to see that, and help you emotionally extricate yourself from it.

Edited by Alchopwn
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Cultivator of Fa

Forgivness in my understanding comes from understanding the cause behind what was done toward us. So when understanding we are ourself the cause of the pain we feel from someone doing harm to us, we can forgive them from within because they are just a "tool" for us to let go of our attachments to what others do toward us. No need to feel angry toward others when we understand it is our own karma that causes us to go through hardships and difficulty in life.

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