Introvert or extrovert?

[RoseDancer]

I was born an introvert and prefer a calm, minimally stimulating environment. I tend to feel overwhelmed in crowds and drained after socializing, only able to regain my energy by spending time alone. 

Introvert or extrovert, how did you realise your type and how do you cope/deal with it?

[XenoFish]

Introvert, because I'm not a people person.

[littlebrowndragon]

22 minutes ago, RoseDancer said:

 I tend to feel overwhelmed in crowds and drained after socializing, only able to regain my energy by spending time alone. 

Even though psychologists may say that your response to crowds means that you are an introvert, I wonder.....

Nowadays it is very fashionable to get over-emotional.  For example, as a former school teacher, I remember how, when a radio station and some of its presenters visited the school and put on a performance for the pupils, one of the presenters in particular got the pupils into such an unhealthily "high" state i.e. extremely emotional and over-excited, that the pupils were screaming and shouting and jumping on and off chairs etc..  And, just as with having too much alcohol, I bet those pupils felt "hungover" next day when they had calmed down (of course, they would not have realised they were experiencing a "down" after the "high" of the previous day).  I can instance lots of incidents of that nature i.e. where people are encouraged to get over-emotional.  In fact, I too often feel drained after socialising and overwhelmed in crowds, but I do not think it is because I am introverted.  (In fact, I know that generally I am not introverted and can behave in ways considered very extrovert.)   I think that it is because people often get over-emotional that crowds and socialising are draining.  Therefore I'd say that your response to crowds and socialising is healthy because you do not want too much of what, I would suggest, is often a bad thing.  

 

To summarise: in my opinion, I think that being a "people person" (or not being a "people person") is not necessarily indicative of character type.  I think the situation is a bit more complex than that.  

 

Edited October 17, 2019 by littlebrowndragon

[RoseDancer]

Introvert - Ambivert - Extrovert. 

"An Ambivert is moderately comfortable with groups and social interaction, but also relishes time alone, away from a crowd. In other words, an ambivert is a person whose behaviour changes according to the situation they are in." 

Nope. Definitely an introvert. 

[+OverSword]

I'm both.  

[+OverSword]

Just now, RoseDancer said:

Introvert - Ambivert - Extrovert. 

"An Ambivert is moderately comfortable with groups and social interaction, but also relishes time alone, away from a crowd. In other words, an ambivert is a person whose behaviour changes according to the situation they are in." 

Nope. Definitely an introvert. 

Okay, I'm an ambivert then.

[littlebrowndragon]

1 minute ago, RoseDancer said:

 "An Ambivert is moderately comfortable with groups and social interaction, but also relishes time alone, away from a crowd. In other words, an ambivert is a person whose behaviour changes according to the situation they are in." 

Definitely not an ambivert!  

[the13bats]

I haven't a clue, part of my nervious problems will cause me to likely appear as an extrovert to some, I believe I have my own ziggy stardust to cope with people when i had to be "on" i entertained over 1000 people 2 to 7 nights a week years back, but doing it like watching a fish tank, a safe detachment.

[+Desertrat56]

Both, ambivert (thanks for that word, never saw it before, though it seems more like ambivalent - same root).  I hate crowds but I like socializing as long as it doesn't go on too long and I consider myself an extrovert because I have no problem interacting with anyone.  I also am kind of pushy sometimes, which I have learned to rein in.  When I was a kid there was so much abuse going on in our family that all of my siblings and I seemed to be introverts, we were afraid of everything and afraid to speak up.  Once we left home we all got over it.  My sister is probably more naturally introverted but she has her days when she will surprise us all.

I think there are times when each of us is introverted and times when each of us is extroverted.  I have taken that test with the letters and get a different set of letters each time I take it.  (INPF, etc.)

[littlebrowndragon]

8 minutes ago, the13bats said:

 when i had to be "on" i entertained over 1000 people 2 to 7 nights a week years back, but doing it like watching a fish tank, a safe detachment.

Wow.  Standing up in front of 1000 people or more, that's quite something.  I guess you do need to be detached to do that.  I mean, isn't the likes of public speaking or similar one of people's greatest fears?

[the13bats]

1 minute ago, littlebrowndragon said:

Wow.  Standing up in front of 1000 people or more, that's quite something.  I guess you do need to be detached to do that.  I mean, isn't the likes of public speaking or similar one of people's greatest fears?

I was just the mc dj of our club, I started in the biz young before my "issues" and this was alternative, punk, goth, industrial,

Oddly i never got any fear from it, I have noticed the last several years when i do a guest show i will pick a person in the crowd i know and talk to them, but it's over the Mic everyone hears it, and after im done i hardly remember it,

A number of years back i did a charity fundraiser halloween party, likely 2k in that room, I had to wing a contest on the fly, it did wear me out after the fact.

 

[+and-then]

2 hours ago, littlebrowndragon said:

I mean, isn't the likes of public speaking or similar one of people's greatest fears?

They say more people fear it than fear death.  When I was in school, if I found out there would be a presentation in front of the class at the end of the term, I worried myself sick until it was over.  I took a public speaking course in College and won an award for the most entertaining speaker and a few years later found myself regularly teaching allied health personnel how to use new computer software.  By that time I had to admit to myself that I actually enjoyed doing it.  The first few minutes are still a bit unnerving but once you "have" the audience they're yours for as long as you need them to be  

[littlebrowndragon]

18 minutes ago, and then said:

They say more people fear it than fear death.  When I was in school, if I found out there would be a presentation in front of the class at the end of the term, I worried myself sick until it was over.  I took a public speaking course in College and won an award for the most entertaining speaker and a few years later found myself regularly teaching allied health personnel how to use new computer software.  By that time I had to admit to myself that I actually enjoyed doing it.  The first few minutes are still a bit unnerving but once you "have" the audience they're yours for as long as you need them to be  

Good that you learned to enjoy public speaking.  Any tips on how to "have" the audience?  Humour, I imagine, would help. 

My sister has never been able to do public speaking.  She either nearly passes out or vomits at the very thought.  When her job required it of her, she found a willing volunteer to stand in for her.

I was a teacher and that involves a sort of public speaking.  However, I hated teaching adults, whereas children were less of a problem except if in a new school where everyone is a stranger.  As a teacher I did a public speaking exercise, speaking to other teachers about something related to teaching (life coaching).  That really made me nervous but it ended up being a success.  You are, of course, quite right in that once one "has" the audience then speaking is much easier.  Two of the audience, colleagues of mine, stonewalled me and made speaking very difficult for me.  However, I stopped looking at them and looked at those of the audience who were rather more friendly and that got me through it.

 

[Tatetopa]

5 hours ago, OverSword said:

I'm both.  

A bivert?

[+OverSword]

25 minutes ago, Tatetopa said:

A bivert?

Bivertical

[Scholar4Truth]

I used to be an introvert due to anxiety. Now after having more experience being around people, getting to know them and having a group of friends thankfully im coming out of my shell. 

[tcgram]

I used to be more of an introvert when I was younger due to being teased in school.   As I grew older, I found that I am an extrovert.  Large crowds don't bother me, I love to mingle and get to know other people.   I talk to people for a living and have taught some smaller classes.   

[+and-then]

4 hours ago, littlebrowndragon said:

Any tips on how to "have" the audience?  Humour, I imagine, would help. 

That turned out to be my gift and it's definitely the best way I've found to quickly develop a connection for rapport.  It doesn't always work with everyone in the audience but it works far more than anything else I've tried.  That award I got in the college public speaking 101 was for an "entertaining" speech and I learned a lot from that assignment.  I had no experience in explaining things and was overthinking the task.  I happened to stumble over an interesting historical event from my hometown of Mobile, Alabama and I realized that most people who were native didn't know this story so I wrote a synopsis and took my audience back to the day 8 city blocks in the downtown area burned down because Union officers during the immediate post-war occupation had become careless.  They were using using former slaves and Confederate POWs to unload explosives from river boats and move them into a cotton wearhouse near the river.  One of the boxes went BOOM!  And before they got the fires under control, 8 blocks were just gone.  

[+and-then]

7 minutes ago, tcgram said:

I used to be more of an introvert when I was younger due to being teased in school.   As I grew older, I found that I am an extrovert.  Large crowds don't bother me, I love to mingle and get to know other people.   I talk to people for a living and have taught some smaller classes.   

The same with me.  I was very introverted as a kid because when you were as fat as I was it was a lot less humiliating to just keep your head down   As I grew older, I realized that I wanted that contact and feedback more than I feared being laughed at.  

[TigerBright19]

I spent most of my childhood indoors without any close friends.  I still feel slightly uncomfortable when I speak to one or two people, but strangely I feel much more calm and relaxed when I am speaking to a larger audience.  I have addressed large crowds at work, at church, and performed at the school pantomime when I was a kid and loved it.  I grew up pretty isolated in front of the TV, but I love being among thousands of people and frequently attend large public events just so I can feel the electric in the atmosphere and feel like I am part of the event.  I dislike going to places that are too quiet e.g. watching a movie in an empty theater, or going on holiday when its off-season and most of the attractions are closed.  I like to see places at their best, which is usually when they are most crowded.  Although there have been times when I was surrounded by many people and yet I felt completely alone at the same time.  e.g.  I remember going to a crowded party and having a great time, and somebody passed an innocent remark - "Did you come here alone?" and for some reason I just felt incredibly singled out and alone when they said that.  I was surrounded by several hundred people yet I felt so isolated, and that feeling just wouldn't go away, and I had to leave.  Since then, whenever I attend a party alone, I either avoid it, or I make up an excuse and pretend my friends are 'somewhere about'  even though they live miles away.  Overall I'm introvert but frequently enjoy being extrovert, depending on my mood, and the situation.  I enjoy being versatile.  

 

Edited October 18, 2019 by Aaron2016

[openozy]

An introvert,so much so I live remotely and lucky to see anyone once every 3 weeks or so.I'm also an empath so can't deal with people around me as I take on all their negativity.

[Essan]

I'm a popular guy who has no problem in making friends, interacting with strangers, appearing at social events etc.  But it's all a front     

 

[RoseDancer]

16 hours ago, Scholar4Truth said:

I used to be an introvert due to anxiety. Now after having more experience being around people, getting to know them and having a group of friends thankfully im coming out of my shell. 

So you have become an introvert extrovert? 

[RoseDancer]

15 hours ago, tcgram said:

I used to be more of an introvert when I was younger due to being teased in school.   As I grew older, I found that I am an extrovert.  Large crowds don't bother me, I love to mingle and get to know other people.   I talk to people for a living and have taught some smaller classes. 

I don't think we go from being introvert to being extrovert. I think you were just shy.  

[RoseDancer]

34 minutes ago, Essan said:

I'm a popular guy who has no problem in making friends, interacting with strangers, appearing at social events etc.  But it's all a front

Before I learned about personality types and accepted mine, I used to work hard at 'putting on a front' but it was exhausting.