What Causes Temper Tantrums?

[TigerBright19]

I've never had a temper tantrum, and don't know what causes them.  I have seen friends who lose their temper so easily over trivial matters, and even punch the walls and destroy their own furniture.  What on earth possesses people to behave in such a manner?  I remember a guy who lost his temper because it was his birthday and everyone was trying to be nice to him.  Even a friendly smile would be taken the wrong way.

 

e.g.  The train is smiling.

 

 

 

Watching the end of Sopranos

 

 

 

 

[Aquila King]

Usually some kind of personality disorder. Most personality disorders have a bit of hypersensitivity and difficulty regulating emotions. Some more than others.

[Commander CMG]

Stupid people, I am fine until I meet morons and that's when my temper rises and I have to educate them.

I have to admit, my tolerance for stupidity has improved but now and then I come across, the individual that just can not be educated... and that's when primal instinct kicks in. 

[+and-then]

True "tantrums" imply a loss of emotional control. In an otherwise well adjusted adult I guess it just reflects an inability to deal with stress.  People who allow themselves to indulge that behavior often , though, may be using it to control the people around them.  At some point, they try it in front of someone like Iilaa'mpuul'xem and receive counseling, gratis  

[Gwynbleidd]

1 hour ago, Iilaa'mpuul'xem said:

Stupid people, I am fine until I meet morons and that's when my temper rises and I have to educate them.

I have to admit, my tolerance for stupidity has improved but now and then I come across, the individual that just can not be educated... and that's when primal instinct kicks in. 

BEST POST EVER.  

 

37 minutes ago, and then said:

True "tantrums" imply a loss of emotional control. In an otherwise well adjusted adult I guess it just reflects an inability to deal with stress.

What @and then said.  

 

Some people need to learn to deal with their emotions.  Learning to recognise what triggers their emotions and developing strategies to put in place to ensure those types of reactions do not re-occur.  Otherwise, it turns in repeated behaviour.  Sometimes consulting a professional is best to help with strategies if the person cannot manage to do it by themselves.  There is no shame in that whatsoever.  That's what professionals are there for.   

[Hankenhunter]

12 minutes ago, Gwynbleidd said:

BEST POST EVER.  

 

What @and then said.  

 

Some people need to learn to deal with their emotions.  Learning to recognise what triggers their emotions and developing strategies to put in place to ensure those types of reactions do not re-occur.  Otherwise, it turns in repeated behaviour.  Sometimes consulting a professional is best to help with strategies if the person cannot manage to do it by themselves.  There is no shame in that whatsoever.  That's what professionals are there for.   

Something, something, Donald Trump, something.

/ I couldnt resist the straight line you tossed out there.

[justin3651]

Sometimes the best stress reliever is to destroy something. The key is knowing when to stop.

[darkmoonlady]

I wish I knew I would probably still be married to my ex. Pretty sure he had borderline personality disorder. He couldn't regulate his emotions at home. He would get p***ed off and throw a tantrum over small unpredictable things, it made life chaotic. I never knew what might set him off. Then he would wind it up to a fight and next day act like it never happened, happy as could be. It was exhausting to deal with, and I am way happier since we divorced. The sad part was he was great when he was not throwing things and slamming doors but it shrank our lives. You can't enjoy life with someone who loses it all the time over anything.

[Grim Reaper 6]

I suspect that these out bursts extent all the way back to the persons Child Hood. These people in most cases are seeking attention, and they continue to do this because it worked for them as child. The sad thing is they have never grown up, their are still a child inside, but they have a lot more power now because of their size. 

People like this need counseling, that can help their mind and actions catch up with the growth of their body

[Bed of chaos]

I think a more important question would be why someone's angry? Perhaps its justified?  If a wife just discovered husband was cheating would tantrum be inappropriate? Perhaps a tantrum could be the only way to get thru to someone else (who's in the wrong or caused significant problems).

Edited October 21, 2019 by Bed of chaos

[Tatetopa]

8 hours ago, and then said:

True "tantrums" imply a loss of emotional control. In an otherwise well adjusted adult I guess it just reflects an inability to deal with stress.  People who allow themselves to indulge that behavior often , though, may be using it to control the people around them.  At some point, they try it in front of someone like Iilaa'mpuul'xem and receive counseling, gratis  

That was well said.  I had a nephew that used tantrums to get what he wanted after his parents divorced. When he got a new step-father, quite a nice guy, who nevertheless would not put up with tantrums he got over them.  By 20 my nephew was a pleasant person to be around at family gatherings.  I thought my sister-in -law and my nephew were lucky to find this guy. 

[Kismit]

Anger is the emotion people feel when a boundary they feel is important is crossed. Tantrums happen when people do not feel safe in showing their disappointment or frustration or anger, they either bottle it up until it explodes or they feel they must express it as an explosion to be noticed. These are not healthy expressions of anger and we as a society still treat anger as a bad emotion. it isn't bad, how we express it however is important. We could all do with a little healthy anger management.

[Tatetopa]

I haven't had a problem with people too much, but I used to get angry at non-cooperative inanimate objects.  I vividly remember the last time it happened,  I was about 23-24 working at a sawmill after shift trying to repair a log lift.  There was a large nut on a very large bolt and  I was using a big wrench and a cheater bar with little success.. I  heated the nut up with a torch to try to loosen it.  The wrench slipped and I hit my knuckles hard on the steel framework. In anger I threw the wrench down.  It bounced on the floorboard and into the log pond.  .

It was the only wrench of that size we had.  The boss had gone home, I was alone with nobody to help, but I knew what I had to do. (Not much OSHA  oversight back in those days)  I put on one of our leaky rubber suits to get into the log pond.  The water was cold and about 5' deep.  I had to feel around in the sawdust and muck with my toes until I finally found the wrench.  That fit of anger cost me half an hour and a cold dunking.  In addition to being wet and cold, my hand was throbbing and beginning to swell up.  I had to climb back out and finish the job.  

I do still get angry at non-performing objects but remember that episode and lighten up. That was 40+ years ago and the last tantrum I ever had.  . 

[Hankenhunter]

I'd just like to throw bi-polarism into the mix. I've seen some impressive tantrums due to this ailment.

[jmccr8]

When my grand-daughter was 2-3 yrs old she tried to pull tantrums a couple of times when we we at Tim Horton's, the first time she tried using the screw face and when I saw it I told her that was a really good face and if she practiced it enough one day it might work and chuckled a bit so she started laughing. The next time she started pulling some attitude and I told her she was only allowed to make one man in her life miserable but she would have to wait until she was old enough to get married and everybody in the place cracked up and she started laughing too.

For some people the RED MOON theory should have been applied generously in their youth if reason and humor doesn't apparently it worked on me.

jmccr8

[jmccr8]

4 minutes ago, Hankenhunter said:

I'd just like to throw bi-polarism into the mix. I've seen some impressive tantrums due to this ailment.

Hi Hankenhunter

Yes for some and then there are those that use the system to avoid responsibility/excusability for just bad behavior. I knew a guy that pulled that BS on a job site because it was his dad's project so I just packed up my tools and left. the next day the project designer and his dad called me and I told him straight up I come from the other side of the tracks and when a guy flaps his gums like that he better be putting his fists up but the son was the kind of guy to push you and call the cops to tuning his guitar and I don't put up with that in my personal or professional life so he kept his son off site.

[Hankenhunter]

1 minute ago, jmccr8 said:

Hi Hankenhunter

Yes for some and then there are those that use the system to avoid responsibility/excusability for just bad behavior. I knew a guy that pulled that BS on a job site because it was his dad's project so I just packed up my tools and left. the next day the project designer and his dad called me and I told him straight up I come from the other side of the tracks and when a guy flaps his gums like that he better be putting his fists up but the son was the kind of guy to push you and call the cops to tuning his guitar and I don't put up with that in my personal or professional life so he kept his son off site.

There's always that one person who gives the true sufferers a bad name. The two people that I personally know are model parents and good people now that they know what their problem was. Before that? Yikes.

[jmccr8]

Just now, Hankenhunter said:

There's always that one person who gives the true sufferers a bad name. The two people that I personally know are model parents and good people now that they know what their problem was. Before that? Yikes.

Hi Hankenhunter

Agreed and no disrespect on my part for people that actually have to deal with it both as family or the afflicted(can't think of a better word right now" and yes I do know people that do deal with it but have seen a lot of free loaders on that track as well which is unfortunate.

jmccr8

[Buzz_Light_Year]

Temper tantrums?

You do realize that sometimes inanimate objects just need killing.

[Hankenhunter]

8 minutes ago, Buzz_Light_Year said:

Temper tantrums?

You do realize that sometimes inanimate objects just need killing.

I watched a grown man try to beat to death a D6 bulldozer that had the temerity to drop a track 3 feet deep in swamp water. It was....educating.

 

[Piney]

2 hours ago, Hankenhunter said:

I watched a grown man try to beat to death a D6 bulldozer that had the temerity to drop a track 3 feet deep in swamp water. It was....educating.

Gee, that's the only place our 644 ever busted in. Can't get mad at her though. She's 40 years old. 

Consider the plating on a D6, he probably had some sore hands. 

['Walt' E. Kurtz]

There is many things which can cause temper tantrums. The frontal lobe in our brain is where our behaviour and personality is.

There is one interesting case within psychology who has been much studied namely Phineas P. Gage  (1823 - 1860) who got a large iron rod driven through  his head and survived

.https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phineas_Gage 

Edited October 21, 2019 by 'Walt' E. Kurtz

[Robotic Jew]

Emotional immaturity and self entitlement.

[Grim Reaper 6]

On 10/21/2019 at 4:18 PM, Bed of chaos said:

I think a more important question would be why someone's angry? Perhaps its justified?  If a wife just discovered husband was cheating would tantrum be inappropriate? Perhaps a tantrum could be the only way to get thru to someone else (who's in the wrong or caused significant problems).

Temper tantrums are always inappropriate, because they amount to loss of self control. There are many ways to deal with anger, but loosing control isn't one of them. These fits of rage are what cause murders to occur, or they sometimes can get the person that's out control killed. Property is destroyed, and for what? Because a person can't control their actions. This is no way to get through to someone, however, it's a great to alienate everyone around that person. 

There is nothing wrong with becoming angry or expressing it, it all depends on how a persons anger is expressed. Anger is a very powerful force, that can make someone stronger if controlled and useed in an appropriate manner.

JIMO

[Bed of chaos]

In reality you cant always tell others what's appropriate or when to control actions. Sounds wonderful behind keyboard however life doesn't work that way. Who gets to decide what's appropriate? You? Me? Dr Phil? Go to Walmart tonight. Test out dime store psychology on angry customers.