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HullSimplibus

Why do I suddenly miss someone I hardly knew

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HullSimplibus

Hello. I recently came across this forum while searching for some answers with my situation.

A few years back, maybe about 4-5 years ago, there was this girl in the same class as me. I barely knew her and we barely ever spoke, apart from a few casual conversations. I left that school and have never (consciously) thought about her since, that I can remember.

Suddenly, a few days back, she came back up on my mind out of nowhere. But it wasn't just a flashback type of memory, it was as if I missed her and it has kind of set off a depressive state as I will mention that my mental health hasn't been all that good for quite a while, but depressive periods come in chunks it seems, but it has never been like this. I just brushed it off as loneliness and my brain just trying to fill in gaps and uprooting half of my subconscious mind in the process.

Thought since then, a few odd coincidences have happened. Suddenly I saw her facebook profile pop up and this one song I vaguely remember her telling me she liked came on the music channel twice in one day (I don't ever recall this happening before)

I am not sure if I am overthinking or something but I felt the need to say something about it and that's all i'm going to say about that.

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Stiff

It might be worth sending her a friend request if you know that she's on Facebook. If she accepts, you can always message to ask how she is (depending on her marital status or partner situation). It might just be a phase you're going through, you never know.

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Eldorado

Welcome to UM!!!!

:st

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HullSimplibus
9 hours ago, Stiff said:

It might be worth sending her a friend request if you know that she's on Facebook. If she accepts, you can always message to ask how she is (depending on her marital status or partner situation). It might just be a phase you're going through, you never know.

Yeah i've given it some thought but i'd say i'm pretty dubious about doing it because it might seem a bit weird.

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HullSimplibus
7 hours ago, Eldorado said:

Welcome to UM!!!!

:st

Thanks :D

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Manwon Lender
11 hours ago, HullSimplibus said:

Hello. I recently came across this forum while searching for some answers with my situation.

A few years back, maybe about 4-5 years ago, there was this girl in the same class as me. I barely knew her and we barely ever spoke, apart from a few casual conversations. I left that school and have never (consciously) thought about her since, that I can remember.

Suddenly, a few days back, she came back up on my mind out of nowhere. But it wasn't just a flashback type of memory, it was as if I missed her and it has kind of set off a depressive state as I will mention that my mental health hasn't been all that good for quite a while, but depressive periods come in chunks it seems, but it has never been like this. I just brushed it off as loneliness and my brain just trying to fill in gaps and uprooting half of my subconscious mind in the process.

Thought since then, a few odd coincidences have happened. Suddenly I saw her facebook profile pop up and this one song I vaguely remember her telling me she liked came on the music channel twice in one day (I don't ever recall this happening before)

I am not sure if I am overthinking or something but I felt the need to say something about it and that's all i'm going to say about that.

It would appear that subconsciously you had some sort of feelings for this girl that you never expressed. Things like this happen to many people, this why getting things off your mind while you can is the best policy. 

JIMO

Welcome to the forum

 

Edited by Manwon Lender

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HullSimplibus
1 hour ago, Manwon Lender said:

It would appear that subconsciously you had some sort of feelings for this girl that you never expressed. Things like this happen to many people, this why getting things off your mind while you can is the best policy. 

JIMO

Welcome to the forum

 

I see what you are saying. I don't remember consciously having any feelings during the time of being around her, might I also mention I was pretty young then. The only thing is I can't really get rid of it from my mind. When i'm doing other things I generally don't think about it but then once I am not busy it comes back.

 

And also, thank you. :D

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Stiff
2 hours ago, HullSimplibus said:

Yeah i've given it some thought but i'd say i'm pretty dubious about doing it because it might seem a bit weird.

I doubt it would seem weird. Girls nowadays have hundreds and hundreds of friends on Facebook, the majority of which they don't even know. Getting a request from someone who she was at school with is perfectly normal. 

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Manwon Lender
7 minutes ago, HullSimplibus said:

I see what you are saying. I don't remember consciously having any feelings during the time of being around her, might I also mention I was pretty young then. The only thing is I can't really get rid of it from my mind. When i'm doing other things I generally don't think about it but then once I am not busy it comes back.

 

And also, thank you. :D

I don't know if I helped, but I hope so.

Take care

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Not A Rockstar

Hi There, and welcome to the forum :)

I am more concerned with your expressed sense of depression. I used to suffer from PTSD and severe and very dark depressive phases that could last for years. It was hell and only my faith kept me from pulling the trigger. The things my mind could toss up and get obsessed by, the stages of bad memories or losses that would haunt me with intense emotions attached... I remember that too well. Part of me recognizes what you are relating about this girl as sounding very similar to that.

I do like what Stiff suggests above. Send her a request along with a message saying hey, are you x from class, yadda yadda, I saw your profile come up and wondered if that is you. How you doing?  This much would seem normal and not strange, but the depression can make it seem so in a sort of self destructive gloom.

For your own sake, grab yourself and this depression by the throat and do something about it now. The answer for you might be a counselor, confiding in a family member, or else seeking a spiritual orientation that suits you to start getting back in the right direction. It really depends on how much self discipline you have and how self aware you are as to how well you can fix this on your own. Depression is painful. It is crippling.

"Spiritual orientation" may be literally a religion you hold to, or it can be a hobby you take up such as hiking or walking or photography or something you find beautiful and never made time for before. Get yourself focused on beauty, or something you find uplifting, be it old trains or jogging and seeing if you can ever run a marathon or something. Pick a new goal that you like and do it for your own sake, your own inner and mental self, and focus on the goal as you can safely and well. Take guitar lessons, just something you always liked but never did.

This is just my opinion. 

Take care.

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HullSimplibus
3 hours ago, Stiff said:

I doubt it would seem weird. Girls nowadays have hundreds and hundreds of friends on Facebook, the majority of which they don't even know. Getting a request from someone who she was at school with is perfectly normal. 

I dunno, it would just feel strange randomly sending a friend request to someone I haven't seen in years. But I guess there's only one way to crack that fear

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HullSimplibus
3 hours ago, Manwon Lender said:

I don't know if I helped, but I hope so.

Take care

You have everyone who takes the time to speak to me I appreciate it.

Keep well.

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HullSimplibus
3 hours ago, Not A Rockstar said:

Hi There, and welcome to the forum :)

I am more concerned with your expressed sense of depression. I used to suffer from PTSD and severe and very dark depressive phases that could last for years. It was hell and only my faith kept me from pulling the trigger. The things my mind could toss up and get obsessed by, the stages of bad memories or losses that would haunt me with intense emotions attached... I remember that too well. Part of me recognizes what you are relating about this girl as sounding very similar to that.

I do like what Stiff suggests above. Send her a request along with a message saying hey, are you x from class, yadda yadda, I saw your profile come up and wondered if that is you. How you doing?  This much would seem normal and not strange, but the depression can make it seem so in a sort of self destructive gloom.

For your own sake, grab yourself and this depression by the throat and do something about it now. The answer for you might be a counselor, confiding in a family member, or else seeking a spiritual orientation that suits you to start getting back in the right direction. It really depends on how much self discipline you have and how self aware you are as to how well you can fix this on your own. Depression is painful. It is crippling.

"Spiritual orientation" may be literally a religion you hold to, or it can be a hobby you take up such as hiking or walking or photography or something you find beautiful and never made time for before. Get yourself focused on beauty, or something you find uplifting, be it old trains or jogging and seeing if you can ever run a marathon or something. Pick a new goal that you like and do it for your own sake, your own inner and mental self, and focus on the goal as you can safely and well. Take guitar lessons, just something you always liked but never did.

This is just my opinion. 

Take care.

Hey, i'm sorry you had to go through that. Years of depression at a time seems really overwhelming.

I suppose i'll give that a try. Thank you for your words.

Keep well

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joc

The Question:   

Why do I suddenly miss someone I hardly knew?

 

The Answer:

5 hours ago, Manwon Lender said:

my mental health hasn't been all that good for quite a while

 

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Desertrat56

Welcome to the forum @HullSimplibus.  I agree with Stiff & Not A Rockstar.  It does not hurt and is not weird for you to reach out to the young woman on facebook. 

Blessings.

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