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Why do I suddenly miss someone I hardly knew


HullSimplibus

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Hello. I recently came across this forum while searching for some answers with my situation.

A few years back, maybe about 4-5 years ago, there was this girl in the same class as me. I barely knew her and we barely ever spoke, apart from a few casual conversations. I left that school and have never (consciously) thought about her since, that I can remember.

Suddenly, a few days back, she came back up on my mind out of nowhere. But it wasn't just a flashback type of memory, it was as if I missed her and it has kind of set off a depressive state as I will mention that my mental health hasn't been all that good for quite a while, but depressive periods come in chunks it seems, but it has never been like this. I just brushed it off as loneliness and my brain just trying to fill in gaps and uprooting half of my subconscious mind in the process.

Thought since then, a few odd coincidences have happened. Suddenly I saw her facebook profile pop up and this one song I vaguely remember her telling me she liked came on the music channel twice in one day (I don't ever recall this happening before)

I am not sure if I am overthinking or something but I felt the need to say something about it and that's all i'm going to say about that.

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It might be worth sending her a friend request if you know that she's on Facebook. If she accepts, you can always message to ask how she is (depending on her marital status or partner situation). It might just be a phase you're going through, you never know.

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9 hours ago, Stiff said:

It might be worth sending her a friend request if you know that she's on Facebook. If she accepts, you can always message to ask how she is (depending on her marital status or partner situation). It might just be a phase you're going through, you never know.

Yeah i've given it some thought but i'd say i'm pretty dubious about doing it because it might seem a bit weird.

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11 hours ago, HullSimplibus said:

Hello. I recently came across this forum while searching for some answers with my situation.

A few years back, maybe about 4-5 years ago, there was this girl in the same class as me. I barely knew her and we barely ever spoke, apart from a few casual conversations. I left that school and have never (consciously) thought about her since, that I can remember.

Suddenly, a few days back, she came back up on my mind out of nowhere. But it wasn't just a flashback type of memory, it was as if I missed her and it has kind of set off a depressive state as I will mention that my mental health hasn't been all that good for quite a while, but depressive periods come in chunks it seems, but it has never been like this. I just brushed it off as loneliness and my brain just trying to fill in gaps and uprooting half of my subconscious mind in the process.

Thought since then, a few odd coincidences have happened. Suddenly I saw her facebook profile pop up and this one song I vaguely remember her telling me she liked came on the music channel twice in one day (I don't ever recall this happening before)

I am not sure if I am overthinking or something but I felt the need to say something about it and that's all i'm going to say about that.

It would appear that subconsciously you had some sort of feelings for this girl that you never expressed. Things like this happen to many people, this why getting things off your mind while you can is the best policy. 

JIMO

Welcome to the forum

 

Edited by Manwon Lender
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1 hour ago, Manwon Lender said:

It would appear that subconsciously you had some sort of feelings for this girl that you never expressed. Things like this happen to many people, this why getting things off your mind while you can is the best policy. 

JIMO

Welcome to the forum

 

I see what you are saying. I don't remember consciously having any feelings during the time of being around her, might I also mention I was pretty young then. The only thing is I can't really get rid of it from my mind. When i'm doing other things I generally don't think about it but then once I am not busy it comes back.

 

And also, thank you. :D

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2 hours ago, HullSimplibus said:

Yeah i've given it some thought but i'd say i'm pretty dubious about doing it because it might seem a bit weird.

I doubt it would seem weird. Girls nowadays have hundreds and hundreds of friends on Facebook, the majority of which they don't even know. Getting a request from someone who she was at school with is perfectly normal. 

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7 minutes ago, HullSimplibus said:

I see what you are saying. I don't remember consciously having any feelings during the time of being around her, might I also mention I was pretty young then. The only thing is I can't really get rid of it from my mind. When i'm doing other things I generally don't think about it but then once I am not busy it comes back.

 

And also, thank you. :D

I don't know if I helped, but I hope so.

Take care

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Hi There, and welcome to the forum :)

I am more concerned with your expressed sense of depression. I used to suffer from PTSD and severe and very dark depressive phases that could last for years. It was hell and only my faith kept me from pulling the trigger. The things my mind could toss up and get obsessed by, the stages of bad memories or losses that would haunt me with intense emotions attached... I remember that too well. Part of me recognizes what you are relating about this girl as sounding very similar to that.

I do like what Stiff suggests above. Send her a request along with a message saying hey, are you x from class, yadda yadda, I saw your profile come up and wondered if that is you. How you doing?  This much would seem normal and not strange, but the depression can make it seem so in a sort of self destructive gloom.

For your own sake, grab yourself and this depression by the throat and do something about it now. The answer for you might be a counselor, confiding in a family member, or else seeking a spiritual orientation that suits you to start getting back in the right direction. It really depends on how much self discipline you have and how self aware you are as to how well you can fix this on your own. Depression is painful. It is crippling.

"Spiritual orientation" may be literally a religion you hold to, or it can be a hobby you take up such as hiking or walking or photography or something you find beautiful and never made time for before. Get yourself focused on beauty, or something you find uplifting, be it old trains or jogging and seeing if you can ever run a marathon or something. Pick a new goal that you like and do it for your own sake, your own inner and mental self, and focus on the goal as you can safely and well. Take guitar lessons, just something you always liked but never did.

This is just my opinion. 

Take care.

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3 hours ago, Stiff said:

I doubt it would seem weird. Girls nowadays have hundreds and hundreds of friends on Facebook, the majority of which they don't even know. Getting a request from someone who she was at school with is perfectly normal. 

I dunno, it would just feel strange randomly sending a friend request to someone I haven't seen in years. But I guess there's only one way to crack that fear

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3 hours ago, Manwon Lender said:

I don't know if I helped, but I hope so.

Take care

You have everyone who takes the time to speak to me I appreciate it.

Keep well.

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3 hours ago, Not A Rockstar said:

Hi There, and welcome to the forum :)

I am more concerned with your expressed sense of depression. I used to suffer from PTSD and severe and very dark depressive phases that could last for years. It was hell and only my faith kept me from pulling the trigger. The things my mind could toss up and get obsessed by, the stages of bad memories or losses that would haunt me with intense emotions attached... I remember that too well. Part of me recognizes what you are relating about this girl as sounding very similar to that.

I do like what Stiff suggests above. Send her a request along with a message saying hey, are you x from class, yadda yadda, I saw your profile come up and wondered if that is you. How you doing?  This much would seem normal and not strange, but the depression can make it seem so in a sort of self destructive gloom.

For your own sake, grab yourself and this depression by the throat and do something about it now. The answer for you might be a counselor, confiding in a family member, or else seeking a spiritual orientation that suits you to start getting back in the right direction. It really depends on how much self discipline you have and how self aware you are as to how well you can fix this on your own. Depression is painful. It is crippling.

"Spiritual orientation" may be literally a religion you hold to, or it can be a hobby you take up such as hiking or walking or photography or something you find beautiful and never made time for before. Get yourself focused on beauty, or something you find uplifting, be it old trains or jogging and seeing if you can ever run a marathon or something. Pick a new goal that you like and do it for your own sake, your own inner and mental self, and focus on the goal as you can safely and well. Take guitar lessons, just something you always liked but never did.

This is just my opinion. 

Take care.

Hey, i'm sorry you had to go through that. Years of depression at a time seems really overwhelming.

I suppose i'll give that a try. Thank you for your words.

Keep well

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The Question:   

Why do I suddenly miss someone I hardly knew?

 

The Answer:

5 hours ago, Manwon Lender said:

my mental health hasn't been all that good for quite a while

 

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Welcome to the forum @HullSimplibus.  I agree with Stiff & Not A Rockstar.  It does not hurt and is not weird for you to reach out to the young woman on facebook. 

Blessings.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Maybe becose he or she miss you as well?

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On 11/18/2019 at 7:15 AM, HullSimplibus said:

I dunno, it would just feel strange randomly sending a friend request to someone I haven't seen in years. But I guess there's only one way to crack that fear

Hi,

I am curious. Did you ever send her that friend request? 

John

 

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All those good feelings someone gave us we didn't know about until it was too late but the memory still feels good that is why you miss her. Sometimes life pulls us here and puts us there but if it was ment to be, it would have been...  Maybe timing was off or God has other plans, either way saying hi doesnt hurt but no matter the outcome embrace the good when it's here and also embrace the out come, knowing you'll be placed exactly where you need to be, at that every exact moment : )

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Maybe it's destiny telling you something. Maybe you should reacquaint and see what happens 

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  • 1 month later...
On 11/17/2019 at 3:01 PM, HullSimplibus said:

Hello. I recently came across this forum while searching for some answers with my situation.

A few years back, maybe about 4-5 years ago, there was this girl in the same class as me. I barely knew her and we barely ever spoke, apart from a few casual conversations. I left that school and have never (consciously) thought about her since, that I can remember.

Suddenly, a few days back, she came back up on my mind out of nowhere. But it wasn't just a flashback type of memory, it was as if I missed her and it has kind of set off a depressive state as I will mention that my mental health hasn't been all that good for quite a while, but depressive periods come in chunks it seems, but it has never been like this. I just brushed it off as loneliness and my brain just trying to fill in gaps and uprooting half of my subconscious mind in the process.

Thought since then, a few odd coincidences have happened. Suddenly I saw her facebook profile pop up and this one song I vaguely remember her telling me she liked came on the music channel twice in one day (I don't ever recall this happening before)

I am not sure if I am overthinking or something but I felt the need to say something about it and that's all i'm going to say about that.

I think you have a crush on her and that for some reason you cannot fathom yourself yet, you have unconsciously reflected a positive aspect of your past years into the object of your affection. 

That happens to a lot of people. It's psychological.

Whom to Facebook... ugh, good hell. Those social medias and their algorithms know how to approximate the littiest aspect of their consumers's social lives. They can propose you a motivational weight-loss ad for an entire year while being as skinny as Kate Moss then the next post-Holiday break, you woke up waddling around with 130 reasons why that system predicted that thing coming. 

How do you think presidential candidates in U.S.A. know so well how to better delve into their target groups's minds, now?? Cyber-algorithms are the stargazing courtesans of modern times!

Edited by CuriousEye
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HullSimplibus, my personal take is that (as many people who visit these pages will freely attest) we sometimes alert to information not received via any of the usual five senses. You should assume this is something of importance and make an effort to respond in some way - how you do it has to be up to you. I think that in the same way a subliminal warning to avoid something is ignored, and the outcome proves disastrous, failure to respond in this case may, at very least, result in a lost opportunity. Just one more opinion, of course.      

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It is easy to miss someone you do not know, all you have are the endless possibilities, I would say you probably do not "miss her" you miss the possibility of an unknown. You should focus on your own happiness and mental health, you said you are struggling with depression, maybe you miss some part of that day, maybe it was a good day, I would say just focus on gaining more good days, no person can make you happy or give you a good life, you have to do this for yourself,

best of luck!

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On ‎11‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 8:01 PM, HullSimplibus said:

Suddenly, a few days back, she came back up on my mind out of nowhere.

That probably happens to us all including me, I think "I wonder what happened to Ruth (or whoever)", and I start googling around to try to find a contact address so I can say "Hi Ruth, how are you getting on?" but usually get no reply (sniffle)

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1 hour ago, Mr.Regard said:

It is easy to miss someone you do not know, all you have are the endless possibilities, I would say you probably do not "miss her" you miss the possibility of an unknown. You should focus on your own happiness and mental health, you said you are struggling with depression, maybe you miss some part of that day, maybe it was a good day, I would say just focus on gaining more good days, no person can make you happy or give you a good life, you have to do this for yourself,

best of luck!

Good advice, the world is full of people who "carry a flame" for someone they never got as close to as they would have liked, but in many or most cases, had they lived the "crush" out in an actual relationship, would have long been "over" them. 

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I had something kinda similar. Back when I was almost 18.  I think like 3 months away, there was this 14 year old girl in the neighborhood who worshiped me. Because of the age difference, I never let a relationship bloom between us. 
 

I couldn’t even allow a close friendship, cause this girl was smoking hot. Like swim suit model hot, even at 14. I just didn’t trust myself to be around her. 
 

Now many years later I have an occasional dream about her, where after I wake up, for just a few moments I regret not perusing her. By the time I pour my first cup of coffee I’m over it. Had that dream again just last night. Have once every couple years. 
 

Funny side note, by the time she was old enough to actually date, she didn’t want anything to do with me, lol. Though we have stayed friends all these years. 

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