It's Real.... huh

[sammymidnight13]

Hello, I'm new here and just wanna say hi first and that the paranormal is very fascinating to me and that I am not insane, well maybe a little. I've tried to research as much as possible on my own but am finding very little that seems credible, mostly go with general consensus and what feels right. I was serious about finding some kind of proof about the afterlife and paranormal cause it just seems like the stories must have a tiny kernel of truth, strange and unknown is just too tempting.

Anyways, a few years ago I was living in the Occidental Hotel in Winnipeg, and anyone who's ever heard about or knows about this place knows it's not a safe, it's dangerous, and has a long history of death and terrible violence. While it is now the called the Red Road Lodge, a sober living establishment for the recovering addict/alcoholic, it is no less a hostile and unsafe place filled with strange happenings. I was doing some stupid stuff in an effort to force out an other worldly being, blood magic, mirrors and candles, whatever looked promising online. I know it was silly and probably stupid considering my knowledge of demonology and "magic" is limited, but while I mainly just creeped myself out some things were happening, not on the first try mind you, it took weeks of building up to something that I now shudder to think of. Before anyone tells me this stuff is dangerous, believe me I know, I didn't care. So it was, strange and freaky stuff was going on around me now, specifically involving the numbers 9:11 or 1:19, still to this day I notice these numbers, and it led me to believe something had worked in my mumbo jumbo online magic crap.

It wasn't just like in the movies, not at all actually, there was no glowing balls of energy or dementor like things, it was small almost unnoticed things in the corner of my eye. Something would shift ever so slightly, no smell or cold areas or anything, but I would feel it in a way I have trouble explaining, like intense dread and the world goes quiet. What I saw in the middle of the night when just after using the washroom was this deformed looking outline or silhouette of a kinda hunched over woman, insanely skinny with overlong limbs and fingers, and long stringy dark hair. If I had to describe her I'd say she was like The Enchantress from the movie Suicide Squad, I'd only make this connection a year later when the movie came out. I can't believe I did what I did but I was surprised and reacted on reflex and struck out at it with my fist, at which point it seemed to disappear the instant my fist should have hit it. I hit the lights and there was nothing, no vibes or feelings, just gone. I didn't sleep that night and drank coffee while putting together what happened, it was all within seconds of flushing the toilet, turning around and there she was, 2 seconds later I lashed out and it was gone.

There has been other incidents throughout the building, my creepy spider lady was just for me I guess, other people have seen a strange old woman in a white sleeping gown pushing a walker down the hall, but of course when I get the staff to check the cameras I wind up looking like an idiot. So many strange things happen now, I swear I've felt that weird dread and quiet more than a few times, usually accompanied by others asking me whats wrong, I try to keep it to myself, but I saw something I can't explain and I think I got my answer I was looking for. There are things in this world we are not meant to know or understand, and persistently seeking what goes bump in the night will yield results eventually, I'm scared sometimes but mostly amazed. What do you guys think of my experience?

Edited December 3, 2019 by sammymidnight13

[+Desertrat56]

20 minutes ago, sammymidnight13 said:

Hello, I'm new here and just wanna say hi first and that the paranormal is very fascinating to me and that I am not insane, well maybe a little. I've tried to research as much as possible on my own but am finding very little that seems credible, mostly go with general consensus and what feels right. I was serious about finding some kind of proof about the afterlife and paranormal cause it just seems like the stories must have a tiny kernel of truth, strange and unknown is just too tempting. Anyways, a few years ago I was living in the Occidental Hotel in Winnipeg, and anyone who's ever heard about or knows about this place knows it's not a safe, it's dangerous, and has a long history of death and terrible violence. While it is now the called the Red Road Lodge, a sober living establishment for the recovering addict/alcoholic, it is no less a hostile and unsafe place filled with strange happenings. I was doing some stupid stuff in an effort to force out an other worldly being, blood magic, mirrors and candles, whatever looked promising online. I know it was silly and probably stupid considering my knowledge of demonology and "magic" is limited, but while I mainly just creeped myself out some things were happening, not on the first try mind you, it took weeks of building up to something that I now shudder to think of. Before anyone tells me this stuff is dangerous, believe me I know, I didn't care. So it was, strange and freaky stuff was going on around me now, specifically involving the numbers 9:11 or 1:19, still to this day I notice these numbers, and it led me to believe something had worked in my mumbo jumbo online magic crap. It wasn't just like in the movies, not at all actually, there was no glowing balls of energy or dementor like things, it was small almost unnoticed things in the corner of my eye. Something would shift ever so slightly, no smell or cold areas or anything, but I would feel it in a way I have trouble explaining, like intense dread and the world goes quiet. What I saw in the middle of the night when just after using the washroom was this deformed looking outline or silhouette of a kinda hunched over woman, insanely skinny with overlong limbs and fingers, and long stringy dark hair. If I had to describe her I'd say she was like The Enchantress from the movie Suicide Squad, I'd only make this connection a year later when the movie came out. I can't believe I did what I did but I was surprised and reacted on reflex and struck out at it with my fist, at which point it seemed to disappear the instant my fist should have hit it. I hit the lights and there was nothing, no vibes or feelings, just gone. I didn't sleep that night and drank coffee while putting together what happened, it was all within seconds of flushing the toilet, turning around and there she was, 2 seconds later I lashed out and it was gone. There has been other incidents throughout the building, my creepy spider lady was just for me I guess, other people have seen a strange old woman in a white sleeping gown pushing a walker down the hall, but of course when I get the staff to check the cameras I wind up looking like an idiot. So many strange things happen now, I swear I've felt that weird dread and quiet more than a few times, usually accompanied by others asking me whats wrong, I try to keep it to myself, but I saw something I can't explain and I think I got my answer I was looking for. There are things in this world we are not meant to know or understand, and persistently seeking what goes bump in the night will yield results eventually, I'm scared sometimes but mostly amazed. What do you guys think of my experience?

Please, could you use some paragraphs.  Some people won't even bother to read this.

[+Desertrat56]

@sammymidnight13 I did bother to read it but I am not sure what you are looking for here.  Do you want people to tell you you are cool because you do this stuff or that you are crazy?  (you will get a lot of that here).  It seems like you may have created a tulpa, which I would question why you would want to, but look it up.  You can manifest things like this but no one else will ever see them.

It seems like you are still on a self destructive path, even living in a sober living establishment.  I am guessing you are not sober now.  Blessings on your journey.  I hope you find the peace you are avoiding, but looking for nonetheless.

And welcome to the forum

Edited December 3, 2019 by Desertrat56

[The Eternal Flame]

42 minutes ago, sammymidnight13 said:

What I saw in the middle of the night when just after using the washroom was this deformed looking outline or silhouette of a kinda hunched over woman, insanely skinny with overlong limbs and fingers, and long stringy dark hair. 

Thank for sharing nice story was it a ghost is there related to any folklore myth of your region?

Edited December 3, 2019 by The Eternal Flame

[sammymidnight13]

@Desertrat56 I'm not trying to be cool, I just wanted to share my experience and get some feedback. Keep in mind this was a few years ago and I haven't lived there in quite some time. If I'm crazy so be it, it's a more comforting thought if I imagined it.

[+Desertrat56]

13 minutes ago, sammymidnight13 said:

@Desertrat56 I'm not trying to be cool, I just wanted to share my experience and get some feedback. Keep in mind this was a few years ago and I haven't lived there in quite some time. If I'm crazy so be it, it's a more comforting thought if I imagined it.

Well, I won't call you crazy, but some on this forum do like to do that to people who share their experiences.  I just didn't know what you wanted.  My feed back is that you were doing seems like some crazy stuff, and I don't understand why you were doing it, you did not explain that part.  However, I understand experimentation with a goal.  Did you have a goal or just needed to get something out in the open from your mind?

[sammymidnight13]

2 minutes ago, Desertrat56 said:

Well, I won't call you crazy, but some on this forum do like to do that to people who share their experiences.  I just didn't know what you wanted.  My feed back is that you were doing seems like some crazy stuff, and I don't understand why you were doing it, you did not explain that part.  However, I understand experimentation with a goal.  Did you have a goal or just needed to get something out in the open from your mind?

My goal was to find proof there is more than what we see and what we're told. I wanted to find out if there's any fact in all the fiction.

[jypsijemini]

I think @Desertrat56 is right - there's an element to this existence which allows us to manifest our reality powerfully.

People who are focused on success almost always seem to find the right circumstances and opportunities to build that success. People who are riddled with the fear of particular diseases usually end up with them. Religious folk who believe in the power of prayer believe that unexplainable or even just coincidental events deserved to be termed "miracles". And we all know that most ghost hunter shows won't spend three days on location filming just to present evidence that nothing was ever there.

The power of personal conviction and belief is very real. I remember being told by a spiritual mentor that he'd adopted the strong and consistent affirmation, "I never get sick". Despite occasions of the household being riddled with viral infections and illnesses, he just never seemed to contract anything. It wasn't a case of an unimaginably resilient immune system - because I started to practice the same experiment on myself. Now I somehow seem to generally avoid the common cold, the annual flu and gastro. Unless I've really over-worked and over-stressed myself (getting sick is now my body's way of forcing me to slow down), no amount of contact with infection seems to affect me. I just don't hold the belief that I'm so vulnerable and susceptible to catching sicknesses.

In the same way, I had been pre-diagnosed with endometriosis and very sinister ovarian cysts. Blood work came back with 'high tumour indicators'. I was booked in to have my left ovary ripped out and treatment for endo. I've never had children and that's all I wanted. The fear was overwhelming. What if they diagnosed me with ovarian cancer? What if the right one was just as infected as the left? What if I woke up from surgery with the news that they'd gone ahead and ripped everything out? What if I NEVER have children?! I couldn't allow myself to spend those few weeks wondering and stressing about 'what ifs'. And so every night, I lulled myself to sleep with healing frequencies. After work every day, I'd spend time laying on my floor performing self-Reiki on my body. And every time I talked about my upcoming surgery, I joked, "I'm going to rock up all ready to be cut open and they're going to tell me that there's nothing wrong with me". I thought I was joking. It was impossible, wasn't it? I'd had numerous tests at all different times of the month and the results had been consistent - something was very wrong with me.

I arrived for my pre-admission appointment. I signed all the paperwork. I got my nicotine patches. They told me how the day would pan out, what I should expect. And then I had an appointment with the cancer clinic. Yeah. 28 years old and I was sitting in the waiting room at the cancer clinic. I lost it. I was surrounded by 25 elderly people and here I was, barely a decade into my adulthood and days away from finding out whether I had cancer. After a ten minute wait that felt like an eternity, I was called in. The surgeon and another woman sat in the room - which fuelled my fear. They know something already, which is why this woman is here. She's going to comfort me as the surgeon tells me that I have cancer. They smiled. Yeah, see, they do this every day. They're trying to create a calm lead-up to the big news.They asked me how my pre-admissions went and how I was feeling about the surgery. And then, "We have some good news." Well, it mustn't be that great because I'm still going in for surgery. "Your ovaries have shrunk, your symptoms are gone and tumours just don't do that. You won't need surgery at all. Your last tests show that everything is normal."

I don't know whether it was my belief in the healing frequencies, the "I'll be fine" jokes, the prayers from my family members or even something else entirely, but I was healed. Completely, totally and utterly healed. It wasn't a mistake - all the results leading up and resulting in my need for surgery were alarming. Some nurses said they'd never seen ovaries the size of mine. There was a very real cause for concern. So what happened? I can't prove either way what healed me, but it made me believe a whole lot more in the power of thought, intention and how one chooses to perceive their reality. I'd still been unbelievably scared at the prospect that I may never have children and may be diagnosed with cancer - but I committed myself to regular energy healing practices and tackling the subject with a positive, light-hearted joke. I really believe that was the key.

Belief is, to me, not only conscious thought that something is true. It's more than just creating rational arguments in your mind as to why it is true for you. It's more than just a conviction based on the evidence you trust to be truthful and accurate to support your belief. Faith takes action. It's practically impossible to believe in something if your feelings loudly and consistently tell you otherwise. Therefore, belief goes hand in hand with emotion. You have to feel what you're saying. It's not just a matter of the mind but the heart also. And this is true for manifestation also - hoping or wishing that something will happen isn't enough on its own. There has to be a marriage between thought and feeling. I believed that the healing frequencies would work and I felt like I could feel the energy and power in my healing meditations.

Belief is so strong because each person seems to have their own form of proof or reason for such strong convictions. Belief is often abandoned as soon as there's a prolonged period where there's no manifestation or evidence, or when the beliefs are convincingly proven to be wrong. When new ideas and theories are introduced and accepted.

It's really just a matter of: "It sounds true based on my current knowledge, and it feels right - so I will believe it." I believe that a person's own doubt is created by conflicting ideas or a lack of feeling that shatters the manifestation and thus, proves to the person that the belief once held is false.

Therefore, anything can be real to the believer, and at the same time, nothing is real.

Edited December 4, 2019 by jypsijemini

[Jodie.Lynne]

2 hours ago, sammymidnight13 said:

I wanted to find out if there's any fact in all the fiction.

So, what did you find?

[+Desertrat56]

13 hours ago, jypsijemini said:

he power of personal conviction and belief is very real. I remember being told by a spiritual mentor that he'd adopted the strong and consistent affirmation, "I never get sick". Despite occasions of the household being riddled with viral infections and illnesses, he just never seemed to contract anything. It wasn't a case of an unimaginably resilient immune system - because I started to practice the same experiment on myself. Now I somehow seem to generally avoid the common cold, the annual flu and gastro. Unless I've really over-worked and over-stressed myself (getting sick is now my body's way of forcing me to slow down), no amount of contact with infection seems to affect me. I just don't hold the belief that I'm so vulnerable and susceptible to catching sicknesses.

That is how I manage also, I get sick when I have burned both ends of too many candles.  Or when I let myself get depressed or negative thinking.  That is not to say that I believe affirmations as they are usually taught work.  What works is KNOWING.  "I never get sick" could be a mantra you say over and over over but never know it or believe it to be true.  You say it to change something you believe is true so it does not work.  You say it because you KNOW it is true for you.  So it is not a mantra it is a frame of mind.  That is the trick, not the affirmation but the knowing.  A belief can be shattered, a knowing can't.

I am glad you did not have to have surgery.  A lot of people are resigned to accept what ever someone else says about their health rather than taking responsibility for it themselves.  It was probably a combination of everything that you and your family did, but mostly the fact that you accepted the healing for yourself.  You can give someone reiki every day for a week and if they don't accept it, it will be for naught. 

You hit the nail on the head, belief is nothing if the feelings are dissonant with the belief, which is why I use the word knowing, knowing includes feelings that agree with the thoughts.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

 

 

[sammymidnight13]

On 12/3/2019 at 5:34 PM, Jodie.Lynne said:

So, what did you find?

I'm not sure whether I manifested it or not but I definitely felt something and certainly saw something that should not be. Regardless it was enough that I immediately stopped what I was doing.